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Attachment

(14 Posts)
Mama1980 Tue 18-Mar-14 08:57:47

Hi me again sorry.
Baby girl is now nearly 4 months old and doing great, gaining weight, she's happy alert but she is literally in the sling all day she is never put down or handed to anyone as she screams so much she makes herself sick. I have done a lot of research and apparently it is fairly common in babies likely to develop FAS and who had to go through withdrawal at birth without the added issue of the sgo.
Ss are being spectacularly unhelpful just saying they are pleased she is so securely attached etc.
does anyone have any experience please? Should I encourage her to go to others? Or just continue as i have been? Developmentally she is right on schedule but will only do tummy time etc if I have my hand on her at all times.
Thanks.

Moomoomie Tue 18-Mar-14 09:28:59

Unfortunately this is all very normal for a withdrawing baby.
Dd3 was six months old when she came home and was still suffering the effects. I used to tie her to me constantly, with a wrap of material.
You are doing the right thing, however trying it is, continue to carry her in a sling and keep her close, don't try and push her onto others, that will all come in time.
You are building up a good, secure attachment which will benefit you all in the future.

fasparent Tue 18-Mar-14 10:08:06

Our last 3 baby's have had similar problems all are now OK with no significant sigh's of development delays, all will be different dependent on % of alcohol and drugs in their system, swaddling helps attended course was discussed in some detail ( But not recommended for all baby's only one's with these significant problem's) , Shaking and tremor's and high pitch cry will take time too go maybe up to 6months.
as they begin too reduce start too pass baby around slowly, must be allowed too integrate, you are doing all correct our baby is now 3 months tremor's almost gone , still loves tummy time and beginning too sleep through , no longer swaddle but has had a bad time as level's were at 85%. has no problems or sighs of FAS.

Booboostoo Tue 18-Mar-14 10:21:37

I don't know if this helps you at all but my birth DD was exactly the same, just seemed to be what she naturally needed. I had to carry her until she was about 9mo, co-sleep and generally she was unhappy with anyone other than me or DP (even DP she could only put up with for short periods of time). Now she is nearly 3 she is still a bit shy, but a happy and well adjusted child.

fasparent Tue 18-Mar-14 10:30:25

Our last 3 baby's have had similar problems all are now OK with no significant sigh's of development delays, all will be different dependent on % of alcohol and drugs in their system, swaddling helps attended course was discussed in some detail ( But not recommended for all baby's only one's with these significant problem's) , Shaking and tremor's and high pitch cry will take time too go maybe up to 6months.
as they begin too reduce start too pass baby around slowly, must be allowed too integrate, you are doing all correct our baby is now 3 months tremor's almost gone , still loves tummy time and beginning too sleep through , no longer swaddle but has had a bad time as level's were at 85%. has no problems or sighs of FAS.

Devora Tue 18-Mar-14 10:38:45

That sounds like my dd too. When she came to us at 10 months I used to wear her in a sling. To get her to sleep I had to hold her really really tight, tighter than most children could bear. I would go with it as much as you can. Four years on dd still won't sleep alone and wants almost constant physical contact, but she's doing well with school and CM and making steady progress.

KristinaM Tue 18-Mar-14 16:51:35

You have such excellent advice here.

Just two things

Be careful with the swaddling re hip development . Otherwise all sling stuff good

Never NEVER ever apologise for posting here , mama1980, We love to hear from you and learn how your babies are doing.

Namelessonsie Tue 18-Mar-14 23:03:53

Incidently, sling time counts as tummy time, so no need to do it if she doesn't like it. My birth dd1 needed to be held / slung constantly until she was walking at 10 months, had to be touching me to sleep, would only nap in the sling. And I didn't touch a drop of alcohol or drugs etc, so this problem isn't just restricted to withdrawal babies. I now have a nice sling stash though for dd2! grin

fasparent Wed 19-Mar-14 09:38:19

Think the thread is for parents too share their experience having issues with baby's and children who have possible birth alcohol and drugs issues too share knowledge as too what has worked for them regards too early interventions which will go some way too lesson secondary problems occurring later in life such as PTS and Attachment issues.
Two of ours were very low birth weight's one at 1lb 12oz and one at 3lbs
both are great now been very poorly . interventions worked . We did lots of walks, baby massage, lots of lying on back on our knee's with close face too face contact cooing's and silly noises. only swaddled at sleep time. And lots of snack's for us all only way for us too eat together

Mama1980 Wed 19-Mar-14 20:30:00

Thanks everyone thanks as always your messages and help are very much appreciated.
I'll stick to the sling, it's just nice to have some reassurance. She actually really enjoys tummy time so long as my skin is touching hers at all times. My two birth children were both very clingy babies but with nothing like the uncontrollable screaming that happens if i put her down.
Thanks for the suggestions I'm doing baby massage with her which she likes, but she won't relax completely she only does that if she's held across my chest laying down my body so she's totally skin to skin which is how she sleeps.

Mama1980 Wed 19-Mar-14 20:31:34

Thanks Kristina this board really is amazingly helpful. I will ask about her hips, the thought hadn't occurred to me, thanks.

namechangesforthehardstuff Wed 19-Mar-14 22:41:29

If you're worried about hips you need a sling which has them 'froggy style' on you as gravity is then pushing the hip back toward the socket not away. Any Ergo, most soft structured carriers and wraps do this iirc.

Bjorns are notorious 'crotch danglers' - wish I'd known that in the 9 months DD was in one...

fasparent Thu 20-Mar-14 16:34:43

All ours came strait from hospitals natal baby care units , so were quite poorly, all were very ridged were in fetal position for some time , most had tremor and shaky limbs, the cry was similar too a seagull. main thing was too reduce this, with what have previously described , including reducing tummy time too relax the limbs from fetal position. note reducing not stopping. most were back too near normal at around 3 months. but have too lookout for development delays hearing, sight, tremors, etc.

Mama1980 Thu 20-Mar-14 16:50:25

Thanks I use a soft wrap ago think should be fine then. Tbh she is pretty much back to 'normal' except for the crying and hating to be put down. The tremors etc have pretty much disappeared and she is focusing much better.

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