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She's 18!

(58 Posts)
OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Sat 15-Mar-14 16:58:53

10 years ago today, I was doing introductions with her and she was so young and small

And now after a decade of challenges and achievements, great days and horrible days, celebrations and trials...everything from school issues, to therapy, to bringing a new brother home, to the most challenging behaviour I could imagine, to her GCSE results, and move to college, and contact...


All the way to adulthood
I'm so proud of her today
She didn't have a great childhood all said and done, since it started terribly, and then the rest of it was shaped by that. But she's a survivor and a fighter and always will be, and we've had some wonderful times over the last 10 years
And I wonder what young adulthood is going to bring for her.


Happy birthday DD2, my precious little girl smile cake How much duller would my life be without you in it? Immeasurably so. I couldn't love anyone more fiercely or unconditionally than you

<sniffles> I'm not holding it together well today!

KateBeckett Sat 15-Mar-14 17:05:27

Aw, what a lovely post! Hope she has a great birthday xx

notapizzaeater Sat 15-Mar-14 17:06:28

Aw, that's so sweet, ((sniffs)) xx

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Sat 15-Mar-14 17:09:44

ps. Just so you can see how far she's come

When she was 8, she couldn't read at all, or write a word, she could barely clutch a pencil. This was mostly because of her emotional and mental health issues, not her intelligence. In 8 short years, when she was 16, she achieved an F in English GCSE

When she was 8, she couldn't stand much physical contact, she wouldn't want comfort when she had a nightmare or a flashback, she wouldn't want help if she hurt herself any more seriously than a few, she wants me for comfort and help, and she can come fetch me if she needs me, and she will happily cuddle me for hours

When she in care, she hadn't attached to any of her foster carers or allowed them into her world. But we have attached to each other, and have a mother daughter relationship

In terms of her behaviour and emotional progress, she's come further than anyone would have predicted

When she was in foster care, one professional said she was "unadoptable", because of her needs, which were very significant.

Unadoptable my arse

ImperialBlether Sat 15-Mar-14 17:10:33

That is so lovely. It sounds as though you two have been through a battle together and now she's ready (with all your help) to start her adult life. You must be so proud of her and you should be really proud of yourself, too.


CitrusyOne Sat 15-Mar-14 17:12:51

This is the most beautiful thing I've read in a long time. I think I have something in my eye. How rewarding for you op. X

Buster51 Sat 15-Mar-14 17:14:08

That is lovely to hear, happy birthday :-) xx

RaspberrySchnapps Sat 15-Mar-14 17:18:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CiderwithBuda Sat 15-Mar-14 17:22:15

Wow. How lovely. Well done to both of you.

Nocomet Sat 15-Mar-14 17:23:26

What a lovely story, here's to a bright future !

LittleTulip Sat 15-Mar-14 17:24:51

I am grinning ear to eat reading your post.

Many congratulations!

Cohenite Sat 15-Mar-14 17:31:00

How lovely, and what a remarkable person you are OP to have loved and led your DD along such a difficult road.

Happy 18th to her and best wishes to you all.

StabInTheDark Sat 15-Mar-14 17:32:24

What a gorgeous post.

How much duller would my life be without you in it? Immeasurably so. I couldn't love anyone more fiercely or unconditionally than you I think I've got something in my eye...

Happy birthday smile

DramaAlpaca Sat 15-Mar-14 17:33:09

What a lovely, heart-warming story.

Congratulations to you both!

RandomMess Sat 15-Mar-14 17:35:49

Happy Birthday, so lovely to read how much you both mean to each other and what you've both achieved x

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Sat 15-Mar-14 17:40:39

Thank you everyone smile

She is having a good day, up early and bouncing around like a toddler grin She did her usual of ripping wrapping paper off like a piranha feeding frenzy, then gathering up all the paper (and envolopes, and sellotape) and carting it off to her room. Another shade of the past, I don't think she can even now stand to throw anything away. However hopefully she will do the same as last year and turn the paper into a nice collage or something interesting rather than hoard it in a drawer for months!!

We're not going anywhere today, spending it celebrating at home. Chocolate cake at the ready!

We're going to curl up with popcorn and watch The Little Mermaid at her request in a minute. Best singing voices at the ready!!

She's had a phone conversation with her birth mum but decided not to visit her today

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Sat 15-Mar-14 17:43:34

But her older sister and nieces are coming round in a bit to eat tea with us!

Becoming an auntie has been another lovely thing for her, she dotes on the two of them (they're now 22 months and 6 months) and loves cooing at them and making faces and getting baby cuddles smile

pinkbraces Sat 15-Mar-14 17:45:44

What a wonderful story. Happy birthday to your gorgeous daughter.

Mrmenmug Sat 15-Mar-14 17:49:37

Happy birthday to you both. As an adoptive mother myself, this is a wonderful post to read

Moomoomie Sat 15-Mar-14 17:51:53

Happy Birthday to your dd Lilka.
What a wonderful post, I haven't read anything quite so lovely on MN ever before.
She is a credit to your unconditional love, your patience and your fighting spirit.
Have a wonderful day today with your children and scrumptious grandchildren.

ListWriter Sat 15-Mar-14 17:52:47

What an amazing story! A very happy birthday to your DD!

drspouse Sat 15-Mar-14 17:57:05

Congratulations to both of you!

MaudeLynn Sat 15-Mar-14 18:14:23

Happy birthday to your lovely girl (heck she's a woman now!) smile

How much duller would my life be without you in it? Immeasurably so. I couldn't love anyone more fiercely or unconditionally than you

Lovely post - sums up how I feel about my (adopted) DD.

Inthebeginning Sat 15-Mar-14 18:21:41

Lovely post. Congratulations lilka and happy 18th middle lilka! X

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 15-Mar-14 18:25:09

Lovely post. Lovely family.
Big hugs to all of you.

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