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Unsure and unsupported.(29 Posts)
I received an email two weeks ago regards of my first contact letter from my ds who is with his new mum and dad. They gave me a date about a month ago of 10th February to expect my letter by, but would have to confirm with the adopters and let me know. I therefore emailed the social worker over a week ago to try and find out whether that date had been confirmed or not, and to ask how I would receive my letter, ie would I need to go to social services to collect or would it be posted on to me.
I have received no response so now don't know whether to expect a letter on Monday or shortly after or not. I also have the added stress of an operation on Wednesday next week so I was so looking forwards to it and to be able to write back to our ds <I think of him as being all of ours, as I am still his birth mum but they are his parents if that makes sense to you?>
I don't know any of whats happening and despite asking am getting no where. I have found myself some counselling without social services help, but I am concerned there has still been no agreement drawn up and no sign of it being done, its like its all been forgotten about. I am now considering do I phone my solicitor and get them to push as my voice doesn't seem to be getting heard?
My worry seems to be in the whole communication issue, social services failed to communicate that letter box contact should be due, and then gave me a date, I know its nothing to do with ds's parents and don't blame them, rather blame the system for not putting dates into place a long time ago, even if it was its due February and august or what not, then there would be less uncertainty for all involved, I know ds is too young to realise but he will be old enough at some stage to understand and I don't want him to feel my birth mum cant be bothered/ she only does it when it suits her.
I am waiting for my letter to arrive so I can write back, I don't want to ask questions they have already answered, and I am aware that its going to be pretty difficult for both parties as this is our first letter to each other, I don't know whether to write it as to them or to ds or whether I am permitted to include the whole family. It would only be a general, hope to find you all keeping well, they are of course going to be a major part of my life, as they are looking after our son now, and though he isn't with me, and I consider ds to be all of ours, he essentially has two lots of parents, he is still also my miracle, and he does need to know his origins but also to feel safe and settled and I will not do anything to upset him being settled, though any questions that are asked later in life I will answer honestly no matter how painful those answers may be to give or to hear.
I have heard from the social worker, and they need to change it to the 25th of this month which unfortunately I have a medical check up that morning which means I cant make it. She has said I will be able to see the pictures of our son, and have the letter as well as the contact agreement.
I have replied saying I have medical commitments, and would need to reschedule and whether I would be permitted to take my best friend with me in order to see them, as I am going to be very emotional. I will also warn my house mate so that he knows if I am off with him there is a reason why
Hope you hear back soon mistakes and can get a rescheduled date as soon as possible, and can take your friend for support x
(it's Lilka by the way everyone!)
I am praying they are prepared to reschedule, they were aware of the health issues and that I had an operation scheduled for last week so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise to them to learn im not able to attend
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