I have friends and family who adopted from abroad. The children were anything between 1-2 years old when they were adopted, and typically, at least one of each parent pair (if not both) had at the very least a vague connection to the country they have adopted from. Most of the kids were abandoned in front of a hospital/given up for adoption as babies - often when they were only a few weeks old. They spent months in an orphanage. Some then went on to foster carers for another few months.
I am amazed to see that the children have 'slotted' into their new families so well. Without exception, they are all happy little kids and were part of the family almost immediately following the initial 'who are these people' moment. I mean… they make it look soooooo easy to adopt. Even the parents were surprised at how each child has seemingly brushed off the process of getting adopted, having new parents and living in a new and strange country with weird new words (despite having connections to the countries the children are from, none of the parents actually speak much of the native languages spoken). None of them also seem to have any behavioral difficulties for their respective ages.
Is the above the norm or actually the exception? I always read about attachment issues when adopting. But my friends' children have none of those symptoms. They are like walking advertisements for having kids or more specifically… adoption! I started wondering whether all the info I read is the 'worst case scenario' or whether it is more because (compared to the UK) the children were given up for adoption so soon after birth, not following a long period of neglect, and therefore have less trauma?
Just a theoretical question, really. I'm quite baffled.
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34 replies
SnowBells · 03/02/2014 19:49
OP posts:
Paintyfingers ·
06/02/2014 13:10
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