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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Birth mother support

(53 Posts)
audley Mon 30-Dec-13 21:37:11

Hi, any birth mums out there who would like to link up for support and share experiences?
I am a bm.

Hels20 Mon 10-Feb-14 08:07:03

Ellroy - I am so sorry you seem to have been left a bit high and dry by social services. There are definitely some excellent social workers out there - and thankfully I have only met good ones - but I know from reading this board, that there are others which could do with a bit more training.

I was thinking about your post last night (at the same time as I was thinking of my son's BM - our meeting is very soon coming up with her) - and I was thinking of whether she would want things like a curl of his hair (I have cut his hair for the first time recently), a painting he did (admittedly, mostly just a scribbled mess) - although I think I need to send these separately - maybe in with my first letter rather than hand over at my meeting with her). And so your idea of a memory box is lovely and perfect - and I would hope it would provide comfort to you in the intervening years before you are in a position to hand it over to her. (Because, surely you would want to keep this and give it to her when she is older/18.) Or are you suggesting you give it to her now, and send it through your sister/social services?

As an adoptive mother, i have actually started keeping a diary of my feelings - a diary that, if my DS wants to read at some point, he can. I think it is a lovely idea for you to do the same - it provides a contemporaneous record of your feelings and love towards your daughter (and might help her understand the situation you find yourself in - with drugs etc). Thankfully, I have never been in a position of addiction (not sure if you are saying you are an addict but I am assuming it is at least borderline addiction as otherwise I would struggle with why SS took your child into care - apologies if assumption is wrong) - BUT I have been in contact with people through my work in a previous "life" and had friends that had addictions that greatly affected their lives - and it just made me so incredibly sad.

I agree with the other posters - access post adoption support and maybe start a separate post - some birth mums are out there (this should be a forum as much for them as for us adoptive mothers) and they might PM you if not feeling able to post and might give you other ideas of memory boxes/letters etc.

Wishing you well -

audley Mon 10-Feb-14 09:15:28

Hi Ellroy,
just popping on to say hi and welcome! I will pm you with a few details of me! I am glad you found us :0)

StupidMistakes Thu 13-Feb-14 18:27:25

Hello, I am a birth mum and would love to link with other birth mums who can understand my position, and share experiences with. I would like to meet face to face with other birth mums however there seems
little out there.

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