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More siblings

3 replies

Lilka · 08/12/2013 18:35

Social services told me on Friday that my DS's birth father has in the last couple of years, had more children. Children are still very young. They have recently been taken into care (thank goodness).

I have mixed feelings about SS telling me this, I have to admit. Never had any contact with the birth fathers at all, they are long gone. It feels different to birth mum's children, if she had ever had any more I would have wanted to know as soon as possible. Part of me is pleased to know, the other part thinks it would be easier if I hadn't been told, especially since I'll probably never know what ultimately happens to them. Another part of me wonders why they are only telling me now.

Also, the amount of siblings that my DD2 and DS have is really depressing. Birth mum has 12. Now I know about some half siblings by one BF. Maybe there are other half siblings out there I don't know about? It hit me again today

I haven't said anything to DS, and I don't plan to until and unless he ever asks me, I'm just recording what I've been told accurately and filing it away with all the other birth family stuff I have for him.

I am sure many people on here will understand

Adoption is so complicated sometimes

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Moomoomie · 08/12/2013 20:24

I totally understand.
My three all have different birth fathers, so there are probably lots of half siblings out there.
I would feel the same as you, what is the point of knowing this information if you can't do anything about it.
I'm sure they weren't suggesting you adopt these too, are they?
We already have letterbox contact with the girls older brother, on birth mums side.
I agree, keep schtum unless it comes up in conversation.

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Moomoomie · 08/12/2013 20:25

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Lilka · 08/12/2013 21:17

Thanks Moomoomie :)

I'm sure they weren't suggesting you adopt these too, are they?

No no, definitely not. Just informing me of their existance and that they've just been placed in care

Even if they are eventually adopted, I wouldn't persue any letterbox. Maintaining contact with the other 10 of birth mum's children has been very time consuming and full of issues, even though in that case it's been worthwhile (and different from these new siblings since DD2 did live with and know all her older siblings and those younger ones that were born before adoption)