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Would we be considered as adopters?

(4 Posts)
MollyMatey Thu 21-Nov-13 14:05:19

Or are there any barriers you can advise on?

I've seen lots of promotion from my LA recently about considering adoption, lots about how many children they have waiting etc - but as I understand it we couldn't actually adopt a child from the same city as us, right?

Me and DP have been together 6 years but are unmarried (and not intending to marry). We have a 3 year old DS and DS2 on the way. We live in a 3 bed house that we rent (indefinitely) from a family member - the 2 boys will share a bedroom and while the 3rd bedroom is currently an office we could rearrange things to free that up as a child's bedroom of course.

DP is self-employed and works from home, I work with children and will probably return to work part time after a year's ML with DS2.

We would obviously not expect to start the adoption process for a few years yet and would ideally look for a 3-5 year age gap between DS2 and an adopted child. I think realistically we would want a younger child (under 2) and although we would consider some disabilities/developmental delays would have to take into account the impact on our other children. While we would consider a sibling group of 2, obviously space would be an issue here?

I guess what I'm asking is, would we be seen as candidates for adoption, are our expectations realistic, and what could/should we do in the next few years to but ourselves in the best position?

Lilka Thu 21-Nov-13 17:32:16

Nothing you have said sounds unrealistic or would hinder you - you have an indefinite rent, a spare room for a child (although you may only be able to be approved for 1 child with 1 spare room, depending on your LA), and you want a large age gap which agencies prefer (they all have at least a 2 year minimum age gap rule unless there are exceptional circumstances, such a adopting a relative)

You could potentially adopt a child from your city, but it depends on your LA policy and how big your city is - you need to keep enough distance between you and the childs birth family, but in a large city with many schools with small catchments etc, even a few miles can ensure you stay well apart, unlike in more rural locations

However you do not have to adopt from the LA where you live, you can contact neighbouring councils and voluntary agencies as well. I think the collective MN adoption board opinion is that it's good to contact more than 1 agency so you can make a good comparison and find the best agency for you

In the next few years, there's not a lot to do, simply because things change quickly, but a little bit of general reading up on adoption/adoption issues would be good. Closer the time you'd need to do a bit more reading/finding resources but years away you don't need to bog down in stuff. Also if you had any house work/extensions you'd want it out the way before adopting, if you get an opportunity to volunteer with children/get other childcare experience, SS like to see that as well

RudolphLovesoftplay Fri 22-Nov-13 06:14:24

Hi, I think the only hinderance is going to be the 3 bedroom situation. If you have 1 child already, another on the way, and yourselves, that's all 3 bedrooms used up. I guess your DC could share so your new DC will have their own room?

Apart from that, it all sounds good!! You have realistic expectations of age gaps etc.

We adopted from within county, but or DC are from a different town within the county. I am guessing that's how most in-county adoptions are managed? But someone who knows for sure will be along to confirm.

Good luck smile

RudolphLovesoftplay Fri 22-Nov-13 06:15:20

I have just read your post again, and realised I misread the bedroom situation! Sorry smile

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