Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Drawing the line during home study...

(88 Posts)
wonderinglots Wed 06-Nov-13 18:49:47

Have NC'd for this.

We are well into our home study. During our home study we have done many things (including modifications to our home) that we didn't necessarily agree with, but did 'for the greater good' and have talked about countless things that we think only had a tenuous link to being relevant in our quest to adopt.

We are now being asked to do something that I fundamentally disagree with - My view is that the thing we are being asked to do is Orwellian. DH is fairly 'meh' about it. Any resistance to doing it will be seen as not being committed to the process (rather than the objection to the principal of being asked to do it - which is what this most definitely is).

We have been told not doing this is a deal breaker in our application so I'm not even sure why I'm posting this as we have no choice....

Have any of you have 'drawn the line' and refused to do something during home study? If so, what was the outcome?

Bananaketchup Wed 08-Jan-14 19:54:57

Thanks for coming back to update, and well done for calling them on this - I hope behind the scenes someone got called to account for such a ridiculous demand. Wishing you an uneventful panel!

wonderinglots Fri 14-Mar-14 21:07:27


I wanted to come back and give one last update.

We stood our ground and refused. We weren't confrontational but we were resolute. Our agency backed down from their request.

We went to panel a few weeks back and it wasn't raised. In fact, the panel chair acknowledged that we'd had a (more than usual) challenging process and that our commitment to adoption was clear. They thanked us for our tenacity.

We were approved unanimously.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this thread and encouraged us/reassured us.

I can honestly say without your advice and guidance we would have caved in at the request. And doing so would have been totally for the wrong reasons. We will not renew the sperm storage agreement when it comes up for renewal next month. For the right reasons.

Thank you, everyone. You may sometimes think you simply type words on a screen, but they have real impact.


Italiangreyhound Fri 14-Mar-14 21:38:17

wonderinglots fabulous news.

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Fri 14-Mar-14 21:44:33

That's fantastic news

Massive congratulations on your approval!! grin

Kewcumber Fri 14-Mar-14 21:48:05

HUrrah - congratulations.

I do like a happy middle. Look forward to hearing the happy ending.

Inthebeginning Fri 14-Mar-14 21:52:55

brilliant news! so pleased for you! totally right that they approved you too.

drspouse Fri 14-Mar-14 21:55:34


cedar12 Fri 14-Mar-14 22:13:13

Great newsgrin

Happiestinwellybobs Sat 15-Mar-14 06:48:55

Brilliant news smile

Daisiemoo Sat 15-Mar-14 07:26:49

Congrats! Xx

FourArms Sat 15-Mar-14 07:53:42

Fantastic news smile

KristinaM Sat 15-Mar-14 08:02:19

Congratulations .i hope you find your child/rent soon .

Thank for coming back to update us

Whatutalkinboutwillis Sun 16-Mar-14 21:30:15

Congrats xxx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now