Be My Parent or Children Who Wait any experiences of which is 'better'?

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi all

Could I ask if anyone has experience of Be My Parent or Children Who Wait? Could you say which is 'better' and why?

I am not sure what constitutes better! Maybe more children, more information, accurate information, quicker response, positive outcome! Just not sure what is better but not sure if it is worth joining both! We are just at the point of wanting to do more than just wait! Or when you go on the National Adoption Register do you get all this information anyway?

Are there other benefits of BAAF or Adoption UK?

Advice, please.

A million thanks.

[floatyjosmum]

I wouldn't say any of them are better than the other - obviously more children on the register as it costs local authorities a lot to use bmp and cww.

The delay will come from how quick social workers are at reading reports and chasing things etc.

[Maiyakat]

I found them much of a muchness - got quick responses from enquiries on both, but that was just lucky with the SWs involved. BMP has the advantage of being able to sign up for a month at a time, whereas CWW is for a whole year.

As far as I'm aware prospective adopters cannot access the national register directly, so if you want to be proactive it's not that much use as you're still at the mercy of SWs.

[allthingswillpass]

We found both BMP & CWW disappointing as we rarely got any response from the children's SW's even after we chased up our enquiries.
AUK is a useful website and resource.
After 12 weeks of approval, you can go on the NAR (through your SW) and we found that to be successful.
Our SW was good at informing us about enquiries and responding appropriately.
Best wishes.

[Italiangreyhound]

Is it 12 weeks or 3 months? It might make a tiny bit of difference!

[Devora]

I found both quite frustrating. I fired off lots of enquiries about children, expecting to hear back from the social worker - expecting an acknowledgement, at least. I don't think I ever heard anything back. (I'm still cross about this - I know they're busy but a one line thank but no thanks is NOT too much to ask, in the circumstances.)

It gave me something to do during those long months, though, allowed me some semblance of active participation in the process. And there was something quite addictive (and depressing) about it. Plus, it allows for the possibility that you will respond to a child who your sw would not have thought of for you.

[Lilka]

Well, I was subscribed to both the BMP newspaper and CWW back when I was approved the second time, and I'm sure my experience is partly very out of date basically an entire decade later, so with a pinch of salt

• I found there was quite a bit of overlap, and frequently the same child would be in both, however every month there were quite a few children in one who weren't in the other/vice versa

• IIRC, CWW had more contact information for the SW's, and it was easier to get in touch than with BMP

• Responses were very varied. Sometimes I heard back, more often I didn't. Quite a few times the response was 'already matched'/'you're not suitable'

• However I did get a couple of profiles/form E's through the magazines, and I do know a few people matched through the publications so IMHO it's worth it, as long as you're prepared for negative responses and frustration

• The local authority have to send the childs profile in well in advance of publication. Eg. on BMP website right now, they have a deadline of 6 November to send the childs details in for the edition that will reach families on the 27th December. But the LA won't put family finding on hold during that month, so you frequently get children in both magazines who have been matched in the interim. Also, LA's might book a 3 month slot and then match the child in the first/second month, so it's useless enquiring on the child if you get the 3rd months edition.

My DD2 was profiled in BMP, but I didn't get that months edition until I'd already had her Form E for a week and was about ready to say yes and move forwards to have a meeting with her SW and get more information. Therefore, any person enquiring about DD after reading the magazine would probably have been ignored or told 'we already have a link'. At best, they would have had contact details noted just in case the link broke down later.

[Italiangreyhound]

thanks so much.

[BAAFAdoption]

Any prospective adopter who wishes to be on the Adoption Register should be referred by their agency within 3 months of being approved. If this hasn't happened adopters can refer themselves.

The Register also runs 6 exchange days per year which adopters can attend and view information on, and speak to the social workers of, children needing an adoptive family.

For further information about the Register ring 08454503931 or go to www.adoptionregister.org.uk

[Devora]

Ooh hello BAAF, nice to see you here