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So I saw dds birth mum yesterday.

(121 Posts)
Mama1980 Sun 25-Aug-13 20:41:49

She asked to see me, all very official through social services and we met at a contact centre with social worker present. I hadn't seen her in 6 years. Court ordered no contact with either me or dd and she never contested that.
Dd was fine with it we had a long talk, she will never have contact with her bm again but given the circumstances was fine with me seeing her. I would never have agreed if she wasn't.
Oh my heart just broke for the girl who was once my friend, she looks awful, she's my age but looks 50 and her eyes are just dead. she was once my friend and we grew up together confusedi held her the day she found out she was pregnant with dd and she had such plans confusedI had a urge to just wrap my arms around her and cry but the other half of me wanted to scream at her for what she did and allowed to happen to my beautiful girl.
She said she wanted to see me to ask me to take the baby but when I asked why she just shrugged her shoulders. Words just started coming out of my mouth then, that I would help her, pay for rehab, get free, get clean, find her somewhere to stay words I've said a thousand times before. Why? Why?! Why did I stupidly hold out I don't know hope?! I'm so angry with myself.
But all she wants is for me to agree she'll have no contact she offered to sign her baby away like cheque. confusedThe social worker then started talking about not pressuring me that this was not what this was about it was about making the best decision and other things I didn't really hear.
I left and threw up. Not once did she ask about dd.
I came home to find my girl playing with ds1 and 2 laughing. Literally I was greeted by laughter as I came through the door.
I just needed to write that down sorry.

KalevalaForMePlease Mon 18-Nov-13 09:07:52

What an amazing thread. You are an inspiration, Mamma, I have so much admiration for you. All the best to you and your lovely family. thanks

KoalaFace Mon 18-Nov-13 09:32:47

Just wanted to tell you how amazing you and your family are. I'm in awe.

Sending lots of positive thoughts to you all, especially your new baby girl.

mouseymummy Mon 18-Nov-13 09:46:31

Mama, I'm amazed at your strength and you are an amazing mother. I have nothing but respect and awe for you.

Has your dd met the new arrival yet?

IAlwaysThought Mon 18-Nov-13 09:49:58

Wow, what an amazing woman you are.
I hope everything works out. I wish you and your family the very best.
thanks brew (you will be needing a lot of these)

Mama1980 Tue 19-Nov-13 18:28:40

Hi thanks for all the good wishes, much appreciated. thanks
Baby girl is doing well they are treating her with the minimum sedation necessary and hope to wean her off it over the next few days. She is struggling to feed so they dropped a ng tube as she's so tiny but she is tolerating milk well and seems stronger with some food and fluids in her.
Dd has met her but only briefly she's coping well, we sat and had a long talk last night, she accused me of worrying too much about her grin and fussing too much so I think she's doing fine, For so many years she was too terrified to even answer me back out of sheer fear - now she's telling me to 'give it a rest mum!' In her best 16 year old voice - makes me unbelievably happy and proud of her grin

jonicomelately Tue 19-Nov-13 18:47:23

This thread has made me so happy. What a great family. I really hope you have an amazing Christmas with your dc.

Lovethesea Tue 19-Nov-13 20:15:57

Glad your new DD is here and praying she gets stronger quickly so you can all be home together.

peppapigmustdie Tue 19-Nov-13 20:22:27

Thank God for people like you, your dc's are so lucky to have you.

GandalfsPointyHat Wed 20-Nov-13 14:10:11

So happy to read your update. Best wishes to all flowers

Devora Wed 20-Nov-13 14:31:01

What a wonderful update! All best to you and your lovely kids, Mama.

fruitloop84 Wed 20-Nov-13 14:32:48

Wow you are amazing. good luck to you, your new dd and the rest of your family

holycowwhatnow Wed 20-Nov-13 18:25:26

O Mama, you have a very special family. Glad to hear that dd2 is doing well. The poor little scrap, what a tough start but great that she'll go straight home with her mama. Hats off to you, you're a special person.

Dysgu Wed 20-Nov-13 18:47:37

So glad to see that she is making good progress already. Can't imagine how things are going to be in your home once you get her home but is all sounds very exciting; I hope she copes well with everything she has to go through and continues to do well.
She is clearly joining a family of determined, loving people and you especially are awesome. Good luck to you all x

georgedawes Sat 23-Nov-13 16:20:10

What an amazing person you are. Hope she is continuing to do well smile

Mama1980 Wed 27-Nov-13 09:24:01

Thanks everyone thanks baby girl is doing well and when she was passed back to me yesterday she stopped crying which was a amazing feeling.

ThenSheSaid Wed 27-Nov-13 16:51:05

Glad to hear its going well. thanks

goshhhhhh Wed 27-Nov-13 17:01:50

You sound amazing & this is really hard. I think given that you have 3 dcs already this must be a family decision - which I am sure you are already thinking. I am wondering if this baby is likely to have any complications & how this would impact in you all. Sorry if this sounds hard & is meant as a question just to consider. Hope you have someone objective to talk to in real life.

goshhhhhh Wed 27-Nov-13 17:44:07

Sorry should clearly read all of the thread! So glad it has worked out for you. I hope you are very happy x

GandalfsPointyHat Thu 16-Jan-14 16:22:45

Hello, was thinking of you and wondering how you and the dkids were doing?

WaitMonkey Thu 23-Jan-14 18:07:33

Just read this thread. Hope you and your family are doing well op. thanks

HeatherCatherine82 Sun 02-Feb-14 17:58:45

Wow! You did such a beautiful thing xx

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