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Parents to birth children who have also adopted, can my DD ask your birth DD a question or two, please?

(13 Posts)
Maryz Sat 15-Jun-13 12:46:55

We did it the other way around - adopted ds1 and dd, then had ds2.

So are his answers any use?

Or their answers, tbh grin. They weren't impressed early on by other people's insistence on calling ds2 "your miracle baby" or "your real child" hmm. So there were some bad things about having a new sibling. And it has occasionally been difficult for them all over the years as people are quick to comment when they know that there are birth and adopted children in our family.

The did feel sorry for ds2 sometimes though, as he had no "adoption day" whereas they had an adoption day and a birthday.

Having said all that, they do get along despite some sibling wrangling when they were younger. ds1 and ds2 were inseparable when they were little; ds2 used to follow ds1 around all the time and thought he was wonderful. Now they are teenagers dd and ds2 get on really well - it's funny watching tv with them because they communicate with each other by FB message and laugh like loons while I look baffled as I don't know what they are saying.

ds1 had serious problems as a teenager. And dd and ds2 would have every reason to hate him - at times they (and I) were scared of him, he was violent, difficult and scary. But interestingly despite it all they love him, they are concerned for him and they are his biggest supporters in life. I think he will in the end be ok, because they will always be there for him.

ds2's attitude to the others is very simple. They are his brother and sister. They take the pressure of him as my worry and attention and interference is divided three ways. He knows if he was an only child I would be over-involved. And they all say it's worth having siblings as when dh and I are old and cranky and demanding, they can share the visits to our old people's home grin.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 10-Jun-13 07:07:58

DS says:

1)yes but she can be annoying sometimes

2) no time on my own; having to share mummy and daddy

3) kick me sometimes

4) yes

Italiangreyhound Sat 08-Jun-13 01:12:29

Thanks so much.

barkingtreefrog Fri 07-Jun-13 22:25:16

Can't work out how to PM you easily from the app so answering on here as I'm on my phone! Also can't read the questions once I've started replying so if my replies seem out of joint I've remembered the question wrong!

1) I think I was about 7 or 8 when my little sister joined our family. I remember visiting her at her foster family but she was only a toddler and just sat there and smiled. We got along quite well but she could occasionally be annoying. No more than any other sibling though!

2) I think there were times when I wanted my Mum and Dad to myself, but it was great to have sisters to play with.

3) I don't have any memories of nasty things my sisters did. My brother cut the hair off my doll once but that's brothers for you!

4) Yes, definitely lots of fun!

Annunziata Fri 07-Jun-13 21:44:18

PM'ed you!

Italiangreyhound Fri 07-Jun-13 20:15:29

Annunziata any please, all welcome.

* barkingtreefrog* lovely, yes, please.

All answers welcome. PM me or post here, whichever you prefer.

barkingtreefrog Fri 07-Jun-13 19:55:37

I have 3 adopted siblings and I was a birth child, I can answer your DD's questions if you like?! I'm 33 though....

Annunziata Fri 07-Jun-13 14:37:45

Would you like some older teenagers to answer also, or just the little ones?

Italiangreyhound Sun 02-Jun-13 21:29:19

I'd love a meet up, will think of some possible dates, or if you are ever around my way.

Devora Sun 02-Jun-13 20:18:12

OK, she was away for the weekend, but has now PM'd your dd. Short but sweet, given her age - if you think your dd would ever benefit from a phone conversation or a meet-up, she would probably be more expansive!

Italiangreyhound Thu 30-May-13 00:34:15

Thanks so much.... up late as usual!

Devora Thu 30-May-13 00:26:50

Well, you knew I'd answer!

I'll get my dd to respond to your dd tomorrow...

Italiangreyhound Thu 30-May-13 00:24:48

I told my birth DD (aged 8) that I know some people who have (a) birth child/ren who have also adopted as well. My DD was keen to ask someone's birth child about the experience of having a new sibling who had been adopted. Please do message me if you birth DD would be willing to answer any of these questions for my DD. Any messages sent to me will be kept private by me and not posted on here. They are just to help my DD adjust to the idea of a new sibling (which she is very excited about).

1) Do you get along
2) Are there any bad things about having a new sibling
3) Do they do anything not very nice?
4) Is it fun having a new sibling

Thanks so much.

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