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Permanent fostering

(33 Posts)
lostonline Tue 23-Apr-13 20:57:15

Not sure if I should post here or on fostering pages but adoption seems to be more appropriate. We have been matched to two sisters who are both school age and have been hoping to start intros soon. However the current foster carers are not happy with the match and its becoming very difficult. Hoping to finally meet them tomorrow but trying not to get my hopes up. Does anyone have any advice or ideas ?

Mutley77 Wed 08-May-13 08:41:43

These introductions sound so odd to me. The idea is that you build up a close relationship taking over the care of the children in quite a quick fashion- not just see them at weekends as if you were a friend or aunty. Are the introductions going to get more concentrated otherwise the move will be a shock for these children (although sounds like they are ready for it despite the adversity!).

Sorry when I asked about work I thought you were seeing them every day which is typical of every single set of intro's I have ever been involved of (with perhaps one rest day during the whole period).

lostonline Wed 08-May-13 13:04:25

I agree its not ideal but other than asking SWs (which I have done ) I can not change what is going to happen.
We will have them for a weekend and then they will move in the following weekend
They have been waiting a long time for a permanent place so they are keen but its going to be a massive shock when it happens
I agree that going to school isn't a priority at the moment but in fostering it seems to be.
If any one has any ideas please shout

fasparent Wed 08-May-13 15:48:20

Just got back last week from final intro, very emotional time for us but baby has settled in with new mum and dad very well. In all our 28 years of fostering the maximum time for intro's we have done is 7 days all have worked out 100%. So tale in experience, job is too be non-judgemental, promote confidence good self esteem too New parents and child. All family's are different children will adapt too this and new family's idea's lifestyle's must be respected , can not count the many many times we have had too adapt intro's around this ethos..

fasparent Wed 08-May-13 22:34:15

New Adoption guide may provide you with some unanswered questions and new fostering and adoption entitlements / support.
see New Passport to Support Adopters at www.first4adoption.
Has only just been released by Government.

Mutley77 Thu 09-May-13 00:35:02

I don't think you can do any more. The views I was suggesting were for your social worker not you, I just wondered if there was extra info there that you could use in your discussions. I think you sound very insightful which will be beneficial to your placement and I think you have done excellently to manage the previous fc's without significant issue, which again will help.
Good uck!

lostonline Thu 09-May-13 15:18:36

Thanks for all your support. I have decided to move on and be positive - spent yesterday sorting out the last bits in their room and bringing down all the appropriate toys and games.
Only 16 days now !

Kewcumber Thu 09-May-13 16:34:18

and don;t forget the prospective adopters mantra...

"This too shall pass"

lostonline Fri 17-May-13 09:46:03

8 days now - schools have agreed to a slow introduction after half term so more time can be spent at home getting to know us - we got there in the end !
They are coming to stay for the first time this weekend. We have been meeting up mid week and this seems to be working out well.
Current foster carers are just dropping off and not talking which is a shame but an improvement on previous behaviour.
All going to be so much easier when they actually move in !
Thanks for all your support

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