Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Lowering a BMI!!!!(124 Posts)
OK, it's official, this little greyhound is less whippet
and more whipped cream!
My lovely social worker has pointed out my BMI is a bit high and asked what I think I can do about it. I said lower it. Of course. But it is actually quite hard. I have taken up running and Taekwan-do but I also love my food.
Please inspire me if you were also advised to lower the dreaded BMI and how you did it, please.
Thanks so much.
Lora it is not (as far as I am aware) a requirement. I am not sure we would be totally stopped if I just stayed fat but I would rather not risk it!
I think the thinking is (as I understand it) two fold.
I am thinking of myself now, knowing how overweight I am. I am not speaking of all overweight people. Obviously there is a big diffference between a BMI of 27 or 30 or 35 or 40!!!! I will leave you guessing where I am on that scale!
If a person is very overweight or obese there is a chance the children in that family will also be overweight or obese. This might be because of gentics in some families but probably is a lot more to do with habits and patterns of eating and attitude to food. So to put a healthy child into a family where people ate very badly might be viewed by some as being wrong. If it were a choice of a fat family or no family I expect most kids would want a family, but if being in that family means you will end up overweight or obese and as a result get bullied at school or have health problems you can really see where they are coming from in wanting to avoid that and wanting kids to have the chance to join a 'healthy' family.
This does not apply to me as DH and DD are both slim and healthy, very fit and sporty. We eat a very sensible, healthy diet as a family.
The second reason, which does apply to me, is that people who are very overweight or obese run an increased risk of lots of diseases including life-threatening illnesses!
My problems with overeating go back a long way. Over the years I have tried lots of diets and exercise regimes and if I am honest they have all failed long term!
I now do sport that I think is fun (walking and Taekwan-do) and as a Christian I have had some councelling/prayer ministry to deal with the issues of why I over eat. But I am still overweight because I overate for a long time. I had two big break throughs, one last year that dealt with the overeating and another which I really hope has dealt with the reasons why I want to overeat!
I was really hoping for some inspiration and encouragement. I don't want to join a diet club, it's not for me, but I do like to be inspired by other people's great stories.
All the best Lora, for the future for adoption if you choose to go down that route and all the best for other things too. Feel free to PM if you would like to.
The websites were organisations that I found helpful! Sorry I should have said that!
I should also say I have lots a few pounds in the last couple of weeks so I am very pleased. Although my impulse eating was dealt with a while ago I still over-ate for a long time because I tended to use food is I was upset or angry etc.
I should also say that the reason, of course, why people would not want any child to go into a family where people have an increased risk of life-threatening diseases is because they don't want the child to lose a parent. Personally I don't think the 'authorities' would ever try to limit whether overweight people can have children 'naturally' and the reason those in adoption services are concerned is because those children have already lost a parent or two parents (a whole birth family in fact).
I've lost another pound and not snacked at all!!! I had one biscuit after church this afternoon (Gluten free!!) and a clementine after dinner! I can't quite believe it. It is almost midnight and I am still full from dinner!!
Struggling on, think it is getting better!
Hi I am a Slimming World success story, yes I tried a few times to lose weight and with SW a few times. And put it back on. But this time I feel so different about it , and I have lost almost 4 stone. I am so happy I have been to HO and trained to be a consultant. I open my first group on Monday 2nd Sept at 7.30 pm. I will be at York St. Sports & social Club Bingley. BD16 2QW. Feel free to join us there, just let me know where you heard about it. Jan
Hi guys, I have not posted on this thread for a long time, and I thought I would just update.
I felt I should post something in the In the club section but that now does not include the 'slimming section' and when I went to the big/slim/whatever section it has no space for the emotional side of eating at all!
I have known for a long time my overeating was not about needing to join a weight loss club, although I know that works for others.
So I am just so pleased that things are going well for me and for me it is about being healed of some of the emotional things that made me overeat! I had a Sozo (which is a kind of prayer counselling session) and now feel so much better about food. I still love food, and want to eat it! But the kind of mindless grazing seems to be better!
I am not sure a Sozo would be for everyone but for me it was good. It took a while to get into it, I had three sessions. And the lady who was part of the team is a dear friend so I felt for me it was a very safe environment.
Anyway, I just felt it was right to share, because for some of us who are adopting/in the process weight can be an issue and lowing our BMI's can be something we are asked to do.
If anyone wants to share encouragements, please do. I don't want to talk about what I eat or don't eat because for me it is much more about the things going on underneath the overeating (which is I feel sorry that mumsnet now only has these specific sections about how to lose weight, rather than the bigger picture!).
Anyway, good luck to anyone still trying and waves to anyone who has taken to the time to read this.
The 'bigger picture' was not meant to be a pun!
Lora people are already prevented from accessing assisted conception services if their BMI is too high. It seems people who cannot have children the old fashioned way and need assistance or choose to adopt have to jump through hoops that the fertile population never do.
I'm glad you have found something that works for you, OP.
My bils friends lost about 15 stone between them to be able to adopt. Starvation diet aka Cambridge
My bils friends have put on 18 stone between them since they adopted.
Bit of a farce
Lora How are you doing? Did you decide to look down the adoption route? Although my social worker expressed concern she never asked me to weigh in or tell her exactly How I was doing. I think she trusted me to keep working on it. Which I have continued to do. Three face it is not a requirement for birth parents to have a healthy BMI doesn't mean it is a bad thing to expect it of parents to be. These little ones have had a tough start in life so to lose another parent prematurely would be terrible. Good luck If you go down this route. For me it has been totaly worth it.
'Three face it' should be although!!!!!
eurochick we did not have any problems accessing the fertility treatment But then we were paying for it. However, I will never know If a more healthy BMI might have made a difference. Otto doesn't matter now because we are fully engaged with adoption.
Otto should be it!!! Phone is doing its own thing!
quo your friend's story kind of reinforces my own thinking that if people do not get to the root of why they over or under eat (i mean people who hav e a problem, not people who have a few pounds or a stone or two over, But really away from a healthy weight) then it can be really hard a to maintain a healthy weight .
I'm a huge fan of MyFitnessPal and I could never do any "diet" that involved cutting any foods out - I just eat the same as everyone else, watch portion size, count everything, and make sure I cook healthily. Oh and be really motivated to exercise (even if it's only pushing the buggy into town) because then I can eat more!
With me counting, hubby eating what I cook, and taking a large toddler everywhere, we've each lost over a stone.
Lora - sorry you feel like this - the issue is that we need to be healthy for our (possibly slightly more active than normal) children, and that if your BMI is large enough to present a significant danger to your health and to reduce your life expectancy, that's when you need to think about how to reduce it. As children who are adopted have already lost one set of parents, it's just a precaution to be sure they do not lose another.
We were both overweight (hubby in the obese category), but were approved (hubby has a long term but not life-threatening medical condition that means he finds it hard to lose weight, and his medical condition is affected by strict diets - though gentle efforts such as better cooking and adding
weight toddler lifting seem to work well!)
drspouse great news, well done. Well done to your DH for getting good results in spite of a medical condition.
It was interesting though that we have only lost weight AFTER having a child placed though I had lost a fair big since I met hubby.
Oh, that's easy, everything you do when you have a toddler, you have to take an extra 10kg+ with you. Walking round town - toddler in buggy. Going for a country walk - toddler in backpack. Going upstairs - toddler has a strop and has to be carried (and when he was smaller, and couldn't walk upstairs, even when he didn't!). Going swimming (OK I do sometimes go on my own but we take him swimming too) - lifting heavy toddler round the pool. Going to the park - running twice the distance after toddler.
Great for the biceps!
Hi anyone who looks in. Just wanted to update. This year have kicked off with a renewed attempt. One week two pounds lost, next none!
I have got an exercise bike now so that is proving to be quite good.
Any message of support, please do post them or PM me. It is a long term issue for me but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Italiangreyhound a big hello.
I think you already know a bit of my story from my other post but am popping by here for some support and encouragement to lowering my BMI, and of course to offer the same back :-)
We are in the very early stages of the adoption process but have found a lovely LA who I think we are going to Officially go with but we have our information session on the 4th Feb before putting in our official registration of Interest.
Anyway what's led me here beong turned down by our first LA because of our BMI's both my husband and I are overweight, we have spoken to another LA who are happy to take us on as long as we can show we are actively making steps to change our BMI's so its all become a bit real and now the real hard work starts....
My BMI was at the start, 2 weeks ago was 43 amd I am down to 42 now, so have a way to go but its the right direction. My husbands is even higher.
We have in the past tried to loose weight but we fall into a rut and find it difficult, this time we have something amazing on the horizon so if we can work hard we may be able to have the family we have longed for, for many many years.
So onwards and mentally upwards but physically downwards ;-)
Feel free to PM if you want too or in fact if you want to exchange contacts as I work Mon to Fri and can't always get on here but am happy to support you as much as I can xxx
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