I'm starting this under my Christmas name, and might well get it deleted, but was wondering if any of you could give me the benefit of your advice/experience.
dd is 16. Her birth mother voluntarily gave her up for adoption, but I think regretted it and has been very active about contact demanding asking for a lot of photographs and information over the years. I was willing early on, but got a bit tentative as dd got more recognisable.
As dd got older, we talked to her about her birth family but she was adamant she didn't want to know. She became quite private about facebook and other teenager online stuff, as she didn't want to be recognised.
Her birth mother wanted to get in touch, and wants to get photographs, but dd doesn't want to send any, which has made for a few awkward and unsatisfactory letterbox contacts.
So last year, I met with her birth mother (who is very nice, btw and has another family now, so isn't actually looking for anything but knowledge). dd agreed that I could go, as long as I didn't tell her I'd been or tell her about it or ask her to have anything to do with it .
So where do I go from here. Her bm would like to meet her (she has asked again). dd doesn't want to. I'm stuck in the middle, looking like an obstructive bitch. And to add to the complications, I know her bm's mother is not very well, and may not be here in another year. She is desperate to meet dd before she dies .
So should I push dd to meet them? Tell them to feck off? Or carry on as I am, stalling, and procrastinating and waffling?
And to add to the complications, ds1 would like to meet his birth family, but they are uncontactable and his bm has disappeared . And I think part of dd's refusal is due to this, rather than any negative feelings about her own family.
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Looking for advice about dd and contact
20 replies
MaryChristmaZEverybody · 29/12/2012 23:29
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Maryz ·
30/12/2012 21:39
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Maryz ·
30/12/2012 21:58
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Maryz ·
01/01/2013 23:23
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02/01/2013 22:24
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