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Christmas week insanity and support

(19 Posts)
Lilka Sat 22-Dec-12 18:13:12

I need a virtual handhold. Had an awful night and not-good day with DD2. Christmas and PTSD issues rearing their ugly heads. Poor lass sad

So coping with that did away with my plan for today, to blitz the house from top to bottom. It's still dirrty and quite untidy. I still need to clean, food shop, wrap presents, prepare my mum's room for when she comes over (I love her but in the nicest way possible, she's difficult!) and her food, because she's so picky, and deal with all these emotional and mental health issues on top of that

I do need a moment to brag about DS though. He's been a fabulous little helper all day, done lots of tidying, a bit of cleaning, and made me lots of lovely cups of tea without even being asked! He was a Wise man in his school nativity and he was wonderful. He's such a joy smile And his christmas excitement is lovely to see, even if it gets him very hyper grin I'm very proud of him. And proud of DD2 as well, she's trying her best to put on a brave face this evening

I'm exhausted. I want bed

Hope everyone here is doing well in the crazy run up to the day (and don't you dare come on here and tell me you're super organised and your house is spick and span and you've done everything already envy grin )

Moomoomie Sat 22-Dec-12 19:46:57

Holding your hand here, as long as you keep tight hold. I feel like I am losing a grip this week.
Christmas is such a difficult time for us as a family. I love the occasion but the anxiety of the children during Christmas week at school makes it so difficult.
I am so glad they have broken up and we can begin to relax into a nice holiday.
Don't worry to much about the housework, the house will soon be covered in wrapping paper.
Happy Christmas.

KristinaM Sat 22-Dec-12 20:31:21

Also here to hold your hand. My house isn't tidy or clean either. And I'm braving the supermarket first thing tomorrow to buy food. Unlike the rest of mumsnet who have been making special Christmas goodies for the last month, our meal will come from asda . But the kids don't care and the adults will have to like it or lump it . All the LOs want todo is play with toys and eat chocolate

The two oldest are away spending Christmas with their partners, so just the 5 of us at home. And none of them have issues around Christmas, we at very lucky. It's must be hard with DDS PTSD because you simply can't avoid all the Christmas stufff, there are triggers everywhere for months

How is your big DD and baby?

Devora Sat 22-Dec-12 21:59:46

Here I am, hands outheld. My house is a shitheap. I've been wrapping presents for four hours and still no end in sight. I packed off both kids for the night (hooray; almost never happens) and now little one is weeping and wanting to come home and I feel so very guilty. The cat is having a mental breakdown and I feel guilty about that, too. I've spent all my money so - Christmas lunch excepted - it's cabbage soup all week.

You come across as such a fantastic, loving, compassionate mother, Lilka. Merry Christmas and all best wishes to you, your children and your lovely granddaughter xx

Lilka Sat 22-Dec-12 23:35:10

Thank you all. Holding on tight. Devora, you nearly made me cry blush

Thank goodness I'm not the only one who is no way near ready yet! Not that I'm wishing stress on you obviously, but at least I'm in good company smile

Kristina, you're right. She does really enjoy some aspects of christmas, which is great, but we can't avoid the triggering bits either, and sometimes she can be triggered by completely unexpected things. This time she had a nightmare and then an episode at about half 1 in the morning so I haven't really slept and tiredness is taking its toll now. And she hasn't had one this bad for many months now, so I've got used to not dealing with it

DD1 is doing very well thanks. She is definitely the strongest person I will ever know. I get a lovely fuzzy feeling thinking about how far she's come smile She and her husband and DGD are spending christmas eve with us,and then coming for dinner on christmas day, which should be lovely. DGD is getting big and she has the loveliest smile grin

Right now I have to go and try settle DD2 to bed. She's afraid to go to sleep now in case of another nightmare

Happyasapiginshite Sat 22-Dec-12 23:57:50

I've a hand free for holding too Lilka. I've no wise words for how to help with your dd but if it helps, I'm laid up in bed with flu for the last 2 days. The house is falling apart at the seams, only the dirt is keeping it together. I was supposed to do the last of the presents shopping today but I can't see it getting done before Christmas now.

Dirt schmirt. So unimportant in the general scheme of things.

Unmumsnetty ((((((hugs)))))) to you.

RudolphLovesoftplay Sun 23-Dec-12 09:43:24

Hand holding from this end too. Christmas is hard and throwing school holidays and no routine into the mix does not help!

I hope your daughter is feeling a bit better now? PTSD is heartbreaking to watch someone go through.

((((((Un-mumsnet hugs for you))))))

HappySunflower Sun 23-Dec-12 11:00:40

Complete disaster zone here, I can't find a flipping thing at the moment.
But, a happy home filled with love is more important than a tidy one, in my opinion!

I hope that things settle down for you and that you can find a moment of calm for ourself in amidst running around after everybody else.

Italiangreyhound Sun 23-Dec-12 14:12:11

Hands ready for holding, bit grubby, nails a bit bitten down and there might be a bit of mud on them but they are ready.

Italiangreyhound Sun 23-Dec-12 14:13:15

Don't want to offend you if you are not at all religious' but sending up an arrow prayer (quick prayer) for your dear DD2 and for no more nightmares.

Lilka Mon 24-Dec-12 19:11:09

Oh know Italian, not offended in the slightest, I'm not religious but any and all support I am very grateful for smile Thanks all

We are having a much better Christmas eve. No more nightmares/flashbacks so far. She has been having a good time playing and laughing with her neice today smile They are so sweet together. Of course she's wobbly/anxious and showing it (attention seeking, claiming to feel sick with no physical symptoms, clinging then getting cross with me and so on) but definitely manageable and she's showing her loving side as well

Merry christmas to you all grin

Lilka Mon 24-Dec-12 19:12:02

*No, not know

Moomoomie Mon 24-Dec-12 19:26:02

I have just read " 'twas the night before Christmas" to a very excited 5 year old, and is hoping she will be asleep soon.
Happy Christmas to all. Thank you all for your support in 2012.

Lilka Tue 25-Dec-12 13:25:45

I give up - I'm on the computer on christmas day blush

Internet therapy sorely needed!

I found a good christmas joke - copy and paste job, sorry for any mistakes


When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor..
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Devora Tue 25-Dec-12 21:56:19


Italiangreyhound Fri 28-Dec-12 03:00:41

lilka I love the joke. Super.

How did the day pan out and the following two go?

I had a bit of stress with my Mum (she is ill with Parkinson's) and that dampered down the big day a bit, but aside from that it all went well and my wider family were lovely. Providing us with amazing food and drink, we were so lucky to be so well fed.

I feel so excited that in future years we may have another person in our family. I know DD would love a little one around.

Hope your DD2 didn't have any more nightmares and hope all went well.

Best wishes for New Year.

Lilka Fri 28-Dec-12 20:29:29

It went as well as could be expected smile

Anxiety, worry, clinginess BUT no episodes (flashbacks, dissociation, that kind of thing), no nightmares, no agression. DS was beside himself with excitement on the morning!! We had a good day smile

Ma came to stay on boxing day and has just left, which also went surprisingly well. She isn't ill, she just has some extremely annoying traits, like constantly nagging me as if I'm 5 years old and refusing nearly all my food and so on!! She met her great-grandaughter for the second time which was very special smile She spoilt all the children (and DD1) rotten

Now I'm preparing the kids to go to DD1's for a little New Years gathering, and she's invited all her other brothers and sisters along as well, so it will be nice to catch up with them all

I'm sorry to hear about your mum, wishing her all the best x

I really hope 2013 is a good one, and you can say you've been approved by this time next year. Who knows, maybe you'll have found a good match by then as well! Fingers crossed eh? x

Italiangreyhound Fri 28-Dec-12 23:35:09

Thanks Lilka what a lovely thought.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Sat 29-Dec-12 22:58:44

Hello all. I missed this, sorry.

Christmas (like birthdays) is a mixed blessing of a time in our house. ds1 usually has at least one off the wall incident.

This year has been (relatively) peaceful, so we have to wait and see what the new year brings.

Love and peace and goo wishes for 2013 to all smile.

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