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Three week report.(11 Posts)
So ds is home three weeks and so far so fantastic.
Intro days were tiring, to say the least, we were warned but God they were hard. Spending time with a strange child in a strangers house while trying to treat the strange child as one of your family is exhausting. Him coming home was exciting but honestly felt sick to my stomach with nerves and fear while dh went to collect foster mother and ds. Just kept thinking that our life with dd was pretty damn good and was it worth risking bringing such a "risk" into our lives. Then immediately added the guilt of thinking of ds as a "risk". Jaysus I drove myself mad.
Luckily dh is very down to earth which tends to ground me when I'm about to spin into a panic and he just told me to get a grip and reminded me how much we both wanted this, so grip was got.
Dd was obviously a bit unsettled for the first few days but already loves her baby brother and we take ages to get anywhere when walking as she has to stop the buggy to talk to him or give him a kiss. She might follow that up with a quick elbow out of the way if he dares to grab one of her toys but I think thats pretty normal sibling behaviour so not worried.
Ds is a lovely lovely little boy. He's becoming more and more giggly and fun loving each day. Weirdly it's been a relief to hear him cry more in the last week or so because for the first few days he just tolerated us iykwim? I know it's very early days and some of you are probably thinking "just give it time" but so far for all the stress and worry and fear it's all been so worth it.
Sorry for the gush of joy, just glad we got here.
Fantastic, thanks for the update and glad it's going well
Thanks. We have been incredibly lucky.
I know there are people on here having a really bad time at the moment and I was worried it'd seem unfeeling in posting. I used to come on here to reassure/cheer myself when it was hairy for us so thought I'd pay some back. I'm sure there'll be times to come when I'll need it again.
Hope today has been better for everyone who's struggling.
On the contrary Juno it is great to hear. I am one that is struggling with my feelings about the whole adoption so It is great to hear that although you were scared things are going well and the way you have explained things make perfect sense.
I for one would be really grateful if you could keep posting when you get time and tell us about the ups and the downs.
Very best wishes with your family x
I think it is really great to understand the diversity of experiences around adoption. It's lovely to read your post - congratulations and keep us updated
Juno (love the name, especially since watching the movie). Congratulations. If you are willing to (either by pming me or here) can you say roughly how old your dd and your new ds are, please? Just curious, my dd is 8 and we are hoping to adopt anywhere from baby to 4. Just wondering how different ages work out and also (if you would be willing to say) if you wanted a boy specifically or whether you didn't mind etc. Again just curious as I have a DD and I am sure at some point there will be specifics about age and gender etc of a lo. Thanks and keep on enjoying it.
I think this is wonderful and lifting news. It is posts like this that keep me cheered, especially when I am struggling. It gives hope and balances me. I seriously hope no one fails to post a 'I feel wonderful' message for fear of being unsensitive for those struggling. Personally I think its heartwarming and positive - how can that we a bad thing? I really cannot get your dd's buggy/kiss stops as so endearing. Lovely!
My time will come
Italian dd is 3 and ds is nearly 10 months.
In my heart of hearts I wanted a boy but was open to either. I had it in my head that a boy would be less of an source of jealousy but don't think it'd of made much of a difference to be honest. S/w said that she thought there was some research to suggest same sex siblings bonded easier in adoption but I've not seen it.
Age wise we were restricted to adopting a child at least two years younger than dd. We were initially told to sling our hook by the s/s because of dd's age but managed to talk them round. I kinda think it's true that they do everything to put you off initially to "test" your commitment but s/w just laughs at me when I asked her if that was the case.
Wendy your time will definitely come then you'll be a happy
sleep deprived zombie woman just like me.
This is the beauty of the mumsnet adoption threads.... We are happy for those when things are going well and hopefully are here with support and advice when things are not going so well.
If we only posted when we were all having a hard time it would become quite a negative place to be.
I am so pleased for you Juno and I hope things continue to go smoothly.
I just wish I had known about mumsnet when we adopted our first two.... Although it was so long ago it actually didn't exist.
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