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My friend has just adopted a little boy - want to buy a present don't know what's appropriate

(11 Posts)
ontheedgeofwhatever Sat 29-Sep-12 15:52:01

He's 2 1/2 years old and absolutely gorgeous and she's just so happy. She's waited so long for this.

I'm going to see them next week but not really sure what to do. Want to buy a present and card but not sure of the etiquette with adoption. Do I treat him like any new born baby but buy something for an older child? Are there special adoption cards?

Sorry I know its probably an obvious question to you but really not sure how to handle it and don't want to put my foot in it

Fisharefriendsnotfood Sat 29-Sep-12 15:54:16

I would buy a present and a congratulations cards smile

DiscretionGuaranteed Sat 29-Sep-12 15:56:18

Card saying Congratulations and a copy of The Gruffalo.

janek Sat 29-Sep-12 16:00:55

Flowers! She would have been inundated if she'd given birth, she shouldn't have to miss out! And i thought the received wisdom was no presents for the children, or they start to think that in their new life hey get a gift every time someone visits.

I always think it's the mother that deserves the gift, no matter how they came by their children!

Lovesoftplay Sat 29-Sep-12 16:30:54

We appreciated all our little gifts, but found we were a bit inundated with cuddly toys smile A congratulations card is appropriate for a child this age, but anything will be well loved by the new mummy so don't worry to much about what you get!

FelicitywasSarca Sat 29-Sep-12 16:33:26

Congratulations card and either a practical gift for the child (parents will appreciate but child won't think they are getting loads of presents for no reason) or a gift for mum/dad (flowers, wine, pampering stuff for when/if child sleeps).

StrawberryMojito Sat 29-Sep-12 16:34:37

A congratulations card and a nice little boys outfit.

Surrealistrhinoceros Sat 29-Sep-12 16:41:20

Big yes to congratulations card. Ours appreciated the presents and any adoptive parents have been waiting a long time to receive all those baby cards and parcels you get as a newborn parent!

Maybe a nice book for that age group? Both my two were very well loved and arrived with masses of toys but very limited in the book stakes. Somebody bought us the Bedtime Bear which has become a treasure - Ian whybrow and axel scheffller.

Only difference with a newborn is be prepared to make a visit short and dot expect little man to be passed round for cuddles like a baby would- he will be shell shocked from moving from foster care and his new mum will want him to be clear that she is mum, If that makes sense? Remember he will have just had two strangers come into his home, be friendly, play with him and then take him away!

Congratulations to your friend smile

DameKewcumber Sun 30-Sep-12 21:00:45

definteily treat it like a birth - no special adoption card necessary - I appreciated vouchers for places like mothercare or gap as (though it seems odd now) it had been my dream for so long to shop in MOthercare!

Ladyofthehouse Mon 01-Oct-12 14:32:43

I agree - congratulations card is fine. We've only had 1 specific to adoption which was nice but didn't really mean any more compared to the more general ones.

We've had lots of people wanting to presents but they have been giving them to us now rather than when our children arrive - some are practical (a survival kit I need to carry around with me with things I would never have known I would need!), some really emotional ones (names for the door etc) and some just toys or clothes.

We have been taking photos of the gifts with a note of who they came from so that when they are older they can see that. It's all appreciated!

BeaLola Tue 02-Oct-12 22:29:50

Great friend - she will love whatever you decide to do. Our DS arrived earlier this year. Card most definitely - we had 1 that specifically said adoption which was nice that the sender had gone to the effort to find it & then all types from Congratulations types, new son, to nice pictures which were "blank" inside where senders wrote all sorts of wonderful mesages & a couple of handmade ones- they all meant SO much to us & I have kept them all in DS memory box. Some people on visiting & seing cards up said that they hadn't bought us a card as we hadn't had a baby :-(

I like Jane K's suggestion - flowers for Mum - I think that all my friends who had new babies got tons of flowers (some said too many) & Mummy labelled things for themselves & part of me really loved the Boofle Mummy mug that a dear friend bought me - it made me feel like I had joined the club ! Bridgewater or Tatty Teddy do lovely ones too.

Depends how much you would like to spend but maybe a special bear, book (Gruffalo hardback ,box set of Guess How Much I Love You ), a Mummy Mug (!), vouchers for ELC/Mothercare.

Enjoy your visit - the first of many &I'm sure she will love whatever you decide to do .

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