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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

She came, she saw and she ate our biscuits!

19 replies

Italiangreyhound · 26/09/2012 23:38

She came, she saw and she ate our biscuits!

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Italiangreyhound · 26/09/2012 23:38

Well, we have had that exciting initial visit! I went mad cleaning the house, every where I could except our bedroom, which is always the last place to see a duster or hoover! The social worker arrived, a very nice woman of about my age with nice taste in jewellery. I am not sure exactly how nervous I was. There were all kinds of things I thought that might potentially make us look less ?good? as adopters or might make things uneasy between me and the new social worker! I?m overweight so I wondered if she was thinking about my size (I am losing weight slowly! So there will be less of me next time she sees me!). Our house is very ?un-flashy?, rather tired looking and a bit cluttered! We have a DD who is adorable but can be a handful at times and I wondered if they would ask much about her at this stage, I wanted to be honest about her but also didn?t want to make mountains out of molehills (because she is a normal, happy little girl who also gets upset and angry at times and I just was not sure how much to talk about her!). Also we?re Christians and sometimes people say social workers aren?t as keen on Christians (yes, I know that is not true and she only asked us one question about faith and seemed very unconcerned about that at all), and just for the record asked me nothing about my weight!

She didn?t ask for a glass of water or to use the loo, as I had been led to believe she would!

She did drink our coffee and said it was very good (well done Sainsburies Basics!) and she even had a biscuit (carefully selected Foxes chocolate shortbread - YUM) ? I mean carefully selected by me not her!

My hubby had said I didn?t need to clean the house, she wouldn?t look round. And all the other stuff I had read seemed to suggest that she would not ask to look around.... but she did! She asked if we had room for a child and when I said ?Yes?, she asked if she could look around. Of course we said ?Yes?! She looked everywhere except our bedroom. I just asked ?Do you need to see our room? It?s very untidy!? And she said ?No.? Result!

Anyway, sorry for the minutia of details. I am just delighted it all went well. She is happy for us to go to the next step, training in January.

Thanks for all the encouragement.

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Devora · 26/09/2012 23:44

Sounds like you did everything perfectly, IGH (especially the chocolate shortbread). I've never heard of social workers having a problem with Christian adopters, indeed ours saw it as a benefit that I took dd to church, as many birth parents are of Christian origin and want their birth child exposed to the faith. Of course, if your religious beliefs are very strict and unyielding they may see that as problematic - as they would if you were a strict and unyielding vegetarian. It's all about wanting you to be able to roll with the punches. adapt and deal with whatever a child brings - be that, in time, coming out as gay, or being attracted to a different faith, or having their own ideas about things.

LocoParentis · 26/09/2012 23:45

Thats great. really pleased for you. You'll sleep well tonight. I did on monday after i'd built it up in my head and worried about it for ages the relief was something else.
Really pleased it went well, and she ate the biscuits (the biscuits are definately important).

Lilka · 26/09/2012 23:52

Great news :) Very pleased for you. Now roll on Janurary!

Italiangreyhound · 26/09/2012 23:58

Thanks Devora yes, I thought it was that kind of thing. Fortunately, I am not at all unyielding. Have not always been so but life sometimes flexes you up a bit! My hope for any adopted child would be that just as with my birth child I could love them and accept their choices, I am pretty sure they will have their own ideas! I was fortunate to speak to a very lovely Christan couple who have fostered and adopted and have birth children too, and were able to alert me to the kind of things social workers might be concerned about. So I will just see what they ask and be as honest and open as I can. I think my faith makes me stronger and better but being aware of 'pitfalls' is helpful.

Thanks Devora for all your enouragement. Do hope to meet you in person one day! What type of church do you go to? We go to a free church but I used to go to a C of E for years.

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Italiangreyhound · 26/09/2012 23:59

Loco great news. Thanks for your encouragment. There seem to be a few of us at this early stage together, interesting to compare notes! What did they ask you? Feel free to pm me. I just listed what i was asked on another thread about 5 mins ago! - JUST being nosy, feel free to ignore me!!

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Italiangreyhound · 27/09/2012 00:01

lilka thanks - I am looking forward to it and I also feel that the next 3 months will be helpful as we try and get our scruffy house into better shape and I work on getting my scruffy body into shape too!

Watching the Biggest Loser Australia to try and inspire me!

YES - I know it isn't about the house and the bod, but at least those are two things I might have some control over!

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cedar12 · 27/09/2012 09:55

Great news

Devora · 27/09/2012 16:03

iGH I'm Jewish heritage but hang out with the Methodists.

funnychic · 27/09/2012 18:28

Well done Italiangreyhound, you will be at panel before you know it. x

Lovesoftplay · 27/09/2012 18:33

Glad it went well, its like a big sigh of relief that the first major bit is over :)

My house was showhome clean before our initial visit and the SW didn't want to look round. I practically forced her to have a look round as I had spent the best part of 48hrs making it immaculate!! I didn't really bother after that, figured it wasn't worth breaking my back over!

Agree totally about feeling like it's one bit that you can control x x

FamiliesShareGerms · 27/09/2012 19:23

Fantastic news, IGH, well done x

Italiangreyhound · 28/09/2012 00:48

Thanks so much one and all.

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Moomoomie · 28/09/2012 13:06

Woo Hoo.
First meeting..... Check.
Looking forward to following your continuing journey with you.

Italiangreyhound · 28/09/2012 13:13

Thanks, feel excited and nervous all at same time!

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DameKewcumber · 28/09/2012 13:26

she ate teh biscuits she didn;t ask for water

Are you sure she's a social worker? Have you checked her certificates?

I don't think she can have read the manual.

Maiyakat · 29/09/2012 19:50

Glad it went well! I'm a Christian and was also nervous as I'd heard Social Workers could object to this. Actually they've seen being part of a religious community a positive in terms of the support that gives you. They mainly wanted to check I wouldn't reject a child if they didn't grow up to share my faith!
I've never managed to get a Social Worker to accept a biscuit - the student happily ate them though!

Italiangreyhound · 29/09/2012 20:58

Yes, it's great news for me that she was so nice, Maiyakat. I'd never reject a child for not following me in my faith! I could answer that question very easily!

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Happyasapiginshite · 29/09/2012 21:22

Congratulations, Italian, great news. You're one step further on the road.

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