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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


(1000 Posts)
Italiangreyhound Wed 12-Sep-12 01:36:19

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

Inthebeginning Mon 09-Dec-13 21:13:41

I got complimented on my cervix once too Kew ! mine was described as "text book" even offered dh the chance of a look (he declined)

Kewcumber Mon 09-Dec-13 23:24:46

Are you telling me mine really isn't so very special after all....? EH? [hard stare]

Italiangreyhound Tue 10-Dec-13 00:04:56

cervix and breasts - I think my medical was a very cursorary glance comapred to all that !

MyFeetAreCold Tue 10-Dec-13 00:09:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inthebeginning Tue 10-Dec-13 01:27:04

not at all Kew , you are instead welcomed into the wonderful cervix club (wcc-I'll set up an appreciation thread later)grin

Meita Tue 10-Dec-13 09:35:04

My beautiful cervix
on this topic...

Inthebeginning Tue 10-Dec-13 18:19:16

oh my God. They look like willies! how did I not know they looked like that? x

tea4two4three Tue 10-Dec-13 19:06:23

I had a punch biopsy done on mine [cervix] years ago. Whenever I go for a smear I'm told they can see the biopsy 'site'. I now always imagine my cervix to look like moon with a landing site imprint.

Inthebeginning there is a really interesting article somewhere about the clitoris and only a little bit of it is on the surface, the rest all neatly tucked away, but apparently if functions in a similar way to a penis. Fascinating stuff smile

Inthebeginning Tue 10-Dec-13 19:11:40

I knew someone who was told it was obvious she swam lots because of the condition of her cervix.
I should know about this though shouldn't I as it's part of my body. feel a bit embarrassedblush

namechangesforthehardstuff Tue 10-Dec-13 19:51:47

I have a friend who, at the age of 18, got her (perfectly nice) breasts out for a medical to be asked, 'is that one always like that?' shock

MoJangled Tue 10-Dec-13 21:33:55

I think 'beautiful' is pushing it a bit

<hands back feminist credentials and skulks away>

MoJangled Tue 10-Dec-13 21:37:09

So far our attempts at arranging a medical have resulted in:

1) we dont do that
2) just hand in the forms and we'll fill them in, you don't have to be here
3) receptionist: you'll need to speak to the doctor. Doctor: you'll need to speak to the receptionist.

Inspired to keep going, limbering up and looking out best thong, and giving cervix a facial in preparation

Inthebeginning Tue 10-Dec-13 21:59:37

just shown dh one close up picture and asked him what he thought it was. "an ingrowing willy" so I then showed him the menstruating one. he wretched! !!grin

Inthebeginning Wed 11-Dec-13 21:56:42

finished our last day of training today. All about post adoption support etc. It seems our la offers very good support. Also had an amazing psychologist talk about attachment issues and other traumas. Feel quite overwhelmed by it, but lots to think on.

Meita Sat 14-Dec-13 10:13:39

Hello, how is everyone doing?

We had our last day of prep group yesterday. By the end, the SWs (it was run by a neighbouring LA in the same consortium as 'our' LA) let us know that if ever we had enough of 'our' LA, they would be glad to have us ;) They didn't say it in so many words, and made it clear that they didn't want to 'steal' us, but they did let us know that their doors were open.

On the other hand, had a call from our GP, saying they hadn't received payment for our medicals (the LA is paying for them), and accordingly weren't sending the forms onwards. The lady said she had called the LA adoption team several times about this, but although they said they WILL pay, they are in no hurry, and probably will wait until January. WTAF? Presumably once the forms arrive at the LA, the LA's medical advisor needs to look at them… Our LA really isn't going to meet the deadlines for stage 1, are they?

They are strange in other ways too… Like, they sent letters asking for references to two of the three referees we had named. We had a moment of doubt if we had made a mistake with the third's address, so called to check - they said they had 'forgotten' to write to the third, and did it right away. So, all sorted - but how do you write to two and 'forget' to write to the third at the same time? Weird.

Italiangreyhound Sat 14-Dec-13 10:36:59

(inthebegining* it is all a bit overwheling, isn't it!

Meita we had to pay fo rour medicals ourselves, it's good your LA pays but rather annoying they forgot to write to one of your referees.

MrsM2509 Sat 14-Dec-13 10:39:40

I didn't know medicals had to be paid for. Were not at that stage yet though. Is that everywhere in uk? I just presumed coz it's done by your gp it is free

Inthebeginning Sat 14-Dec-13 11:49:16

when we had our medical packs sent through there was a blue form and it said they'd (la) pay up to £150. We just handed it in when we had our medical.
meita it sounds very frustrating. when was your official start date of stage one? I think our s.wrker said sometimes they let things "straddle" the two so maybe that's what they'll do. are there things that you are happy with about them too?
spoke to s.wrker yesterday and she's writing our par up. I'd love to have it before Christmas but I think it'll be new year. Just want to read it over for our own piece of mind!

Italiangreyhound Sat 14-Dec-13 11:54:20

I don't know about everywhere in the UK and my understanding is that is the only bit you need to pay for.

Italiangreyhound Sat 14-Dec-13 11:58:52

PS GP forgot to charge my DH so we thought that's good but he remembered about a month later!

Can't remember if this is how much we paid but says

"Your medical report will be carried out by your GP, who will usually charge for this. The recommended fee is £73.86 per carer, but this can vary between GP practices. In some cases your adoption agency will cover the cost of the fee, but in others you may be expected to pay."

I must admit was frustrated we had to pay but it is a small price and having considered overseas adoption where you pay for everything, it seemed a small price to pay.

Choccyjules Sat 14-Dec-13 12:09:30

We were pleasantly surprised that our LA paid for ours as we were expecting to have to pay.

Having said that, until we hear that the forms have actually reached the LA medical advisor, we won't know they've paid up! And so Stage One drags on...

Kewcumber Sat 14-Dec-13 12:12:51

Lots of GP's won;t charge for adoption medicals - mine didn't. In fact mine thought it was odd you were expected to for a UK adoption

Italiangreyhound Sat 14-Dec-13 13:12:41

I too think it is odd. But I also think it is small price to pay but then again I am in that pre-adoption euphoric 'give me a child pretty please' stage!!!

Kewcumber Sat 14-Dec-13 13:43:38

At your stage Italian (actually after about 2.5 years so a bit longer probably) - I think if someone had offered me a baby monkey I might have taken it.

tea4two4three Sat 14-Dec-13 13:47:01

We asked to take our forms with us at the end of the medical, they took a copy and handed them over, and we (also took a copy - copy EVERYTHING) hand delivered them. The GP invoiced the LA.

Our LA adoption team relocated a few weeks into our stage 1 and subsequently lost all paperwork. All our refs had to rewrite their forms which really pi$$ed me off as it was quite long. We are still waiting for training as there wasn't enough people to run the course, however it hasn't held anything up yet, as our social worker just carried on regardless.

Just keep bugging your SW with phone calls and emails at least it shows commitment grin

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