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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


(1000 Posts)
Italiangreyhound Wed 12-Sep-12 01:36:19

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

funnychic Wed 12-Sep-12 06:30:23

Hiya and welcome, I'n not that new and approved. you will be in my position before you know it, try and enjoy. xx

Lovesoftplay Wed 12-Sep-12 08:39:23

Not a newbie either, but funnychic is right, you will soon be there x x

LocoParentis Wed 12-Sep-12 21:07:52


We're waiting for the initial social worker visit.

I'm glad there are a few of us going through it at the same time, we'll hopefully be able to support each other and share our experiences.


calmlychaotic Thu 13-Sep-12 00:00:02

Same as you made the call last week, got to wait till end of October for an open evening and then home visit after that. Social worker phoned and introduced herself couple days ago. There does seem to be a lot of people on here just starting out now. Good to have the support.

Italiangreyhound Thu 13-Sep-12 00:35:22

Hi Funny, LSP, loco and Calmly - hope those abbreviations are OK?? Thanks for saying hi. I am excited but scared. Been vaguely thinking about this for 20 years! definitely considering it for about 5. Long journey just to get to this point!

Lovesoftplay Thu 13-Sep-12 08:18:50

It is a long journey (not so much the actual assessments etc, but the decision making before you start) but it will fly by now. So exciting smile

Italiangreyhound Thu 13-Sep-12 22:02:01

At the moment I feel more nervous than excited!

Karbea Thu 13-Sep-12 22:08:38


I made the call yesterday and had a long chat with the social worker. Open eve is nov 20th, nothing but reading to do till then...

Italiangreyhound Thu 13-Sep-12 22:27:27

Good luck Karbea, exciting time. Let me know if you read any good books.

mrsballack Thu 13-Sep-12 22:58:12


I'm a newbie too. We submitted our initial forms and are waiting for our first home visit. Having a nightmare with try

mrsballack Thu 13-Sep-12 22:59:47

Whoops hit the button too early. Damn iPhone.

We are having nightmares trying to get a consent form from our Local authority. They claim to have sent it twice but we've not received it and they are quite rude when I ph

LocoParentis Fri 14-Sep-12 20:55:56

Is it worth trying a different local authority? If they are problematic this early on, what will they be like when you need there support

Italiangreyhound Sun 16-Sep-12 10:10:05

Hi nembies, how are you all today?

I hope all well.

LocoParentis Sun 16-Sep-12 11:16:43

Hi Italian,

Today I am reading 'what every parent needs to know' by Margot Sutherland and obsessively overanalysing the profiles on bemyparent!

I'm totally sure we're doing the right thing but the nerves and self doubt have really started to set in now. I'm sure I'll feel better once the initial visit is over with.

I did manage to switch off from everything for a little while and have ordered a new coat grin.

How are you feeling?

calmlychaotic Sun 16-Sep-12 23:10:14

Hi loco.
Do you recommend the book? Going to get myself down to the library this week. Anyone else got any recommendations?

Italiangreyhound Sun 16-Sep-12 23:35:25

Hi Loco I felt very stressed today as my DD was being really naughty and I wondered how I would cope if I had two who were both being really naughty at the same time!

How do you get hold of be my parent? Can you read it on line or is that a totally dumb question? I have seen a hard copy of it but it was so long ago and I didn't really know much then!

Italiangreyhound Sun 16-Sep-12 23:47:15

OK, have found Be my parent on line. It is very interesting. I am assuming that these kids are not using their real names and photos because some don't seem to match the ages! It is pretty weird just reading the details and knowing they are all real children! We are so much at the start of the process that it all seems so far off! Must ask a question of the more experience lot about 'Be my parent'! Feel free to pop over and answer it if you know!!


Italiangreyhound Sun 16-Sep-12 23:47:28

mrsballack did you get the form in the end?

Italiangreyhound Mon 17-Sep-12 00:00:42

Oh it's just breaking my heart looking at Be my parent! In a funny way I needed to think about the children, because getting ready for adoption I am thinking about me, will I cope, what will they think or me, etc etc and actually forgetting the children!

Tigglette Mon 17-Sep-12 20:46:53

Can I join in too please, we've been to the open evening and have completed initial paperwork - social worker is sending us for an early medical because we're both overweight (currently dieting like mad...). She thinks it won't be a problem as long as we bring our weight down but wants a medical before our prep course. All very exciting and scary and happy and frightening, but glad to have the process underway.

Italiangreyhound Mon 17-Sep-12 20:53:24

Tigglette all the very best luck losing weight. If you do manage it you can change your name to .....twiglett! I am struggling with my weight too, I've been overweight for years but now am thankfully losing weight. I managed to avoid donoughts and fried chicken and went for prawns, bread and salad instead!

Good luck and all the best.

Tigglette Mon 17-Sep-12 21:26:26

I'm a v long way from being a twiglett - more of a tree trunk but I'll get there... Avoiding donuts and fried chicken and wine is a good starting point for me.

LocoParentis Mon 17-Sep-12 22:24:07

Hi everyone,

Tigglette you're not alone, both my DH and I are overweight. We're hoping they'll be alright about it. I definately feel able to look after a screaming toddler or two. We're both open to losing weight as it's something we both want to do anyway.

Calmly - it's definately interesting, very easy to read it's not aimed at adoptive parents just parents in general but as i don't have any children (yet) I wanted to at least get some research down into parenting techniques. I read somewhere they may ask you what your parenting technique is so i thought i'd better learn some! I've ordered Real parents real children which looks really interesting i'll let you know when it arrives.

Italian - two being naughty together is what is keeping me awake at nights too. We're hoping to adopt siblings and my worst worst worst fear is two toddlers holding hands and running away from me at speed. I suppose whats been comforting me is that I would cope as i'd have no choice but to cope. And the days when they are both making you tear your hair out will be far outweighed by the better days, or the days when they go off and play nicely together smile.
In answer to your question about how soon to tell the social workers about DD's behaviour I would straight away. I think it will actually stand you in good stead the fact that you have recognised it and are dealing with it constructively.

I can only see the public profiles on be my parent it's just really to get an understanding of the 'types' of children awaiting adoption, i.e usual age of sibling groups, health probs, foetal alcohol, attachment etc. It's really really premature but I'm an over thinker what can i say.

Also big news in the parentis house tonight. Our sw called and asked if she can pull forward our initial meeting to the 24th of Sept so they can sent us on the prep course starting friday 28th of Sept. shock shock shock.

I'm not nervous about it i'm terrified!

Italiangreyhound Mon 17-Sep-12 22:40:39

loco really hope all will go well. Yay, 28th Sept, how exciting.

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