Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Do we start process again?? Sorry, long post.(6 Posts)
My DH and I are in our 40's, have natural 10yr old twin boys,(who are very keen to have a sibling as well)and we always wanted another child, but after 6 misscarriages we decided that the time was right to look into adoption. We went to the initial meetings, and filled in the forms, then attended the 4 day sessions prior to going on with the process. At that point, my DH was made redundant (firm suddenly announced it had gone bust, so no notice given, no redundancey money etc), and had some emotional and finacial problems due to this, so we reluctantly stopped the process, and put the idea on hold for 18months.
We are now in a better position, DH working again, and wanted to go forward, but have been told we have to go through the whole process again, and, because we "dropped out" last time, there may be "difficulties" in us being accepted to continue with the adoption process again.
We thought we had made a sensible decision, as we were not in a stable financial or emotional position at the time, but are now deeply regretting we chose to wait until we thought we would better be able to cope with the rigorous adoption proccesses!Any advice welcome
Are you sure you still want to do this? By the time you get a placement your boys may be teenagers and not so keen on new playmates
I assume you are looking for adopt school aged child or children. This is great as there are many children lke this needimg new families. But they WILL have special needs of various kinds and may not be the kind of siblings that your boys imagine.
I woudl encourage you to read a lot about the kinds of issues that you may face and if possible met soem local adopters
If you afe then sure that you wish to continue i woudl contcat ALL the adoption agencies that cover your area. Write a brief letter outlining your family circumstances and your adoption journey so far. As younhave said, its a strenghth that you put it onhold, not a weakness and you shoudl present it as such
Btw, on a practical note, im assuming that you know you will need one parent as home full time and at least one spare bedroom?
We were told there would be 'difficulties' with our adoption procedure. It's important to get exact clarification as to exactly what they mean. Some of our difficulties were minor and easily sorted but the major ones delayed us so it ended up taking 3.5 years to get our DS.
Sorry to be late coming back, internet down over end of last week/weekend. We were told initially that we could have one parent working full time, and one (myself) part time (16hrs a week), will put our boys into a room together again (we have 1 large bedroom they can use)to free up a bedroom.
"Difficulties" would include the fact DH ended up on anti-depressents for a 6 month period last year, and we decided to stop due to worries about finances, obviously, if we had finacial difficulties after we had an offer of a child, we would muddle our way through, but we thought it was prudent to wait when we were right at the beginning of the process.
We had resigned ourselves to a wiat of a couple of years, but now have been told that we could be asked to wait at least 3 years before we can apply fully again. This seems excessive to us
Why the 3 year wait?
Who has told you this?
Don't worry about the anti depressants etc... As long as you show how you have dealt with depression you should be fine. They may ask about whether you would consider councilling. This was a major factor for us when we were adopting. I had 7 mc's but had councilling so as far as SW's were concerned it was managed.
Im always amazed at the idea that children who have faced a life of diffuculies, trauma, abuse and loss shoudl ideally be adopted by people who have never faced any troubles , difficulties or illness of their own
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