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DD very reluctant reader - any advice?

(9 Posts)
BeauFauxQuo Fri 12-Aug-11 14:22:47

I have 2 adopted dd's, 3 and 5. My 5yo has just finished her reception year and has no interest in reading at all. She loves stories and books and being read to but hates anything that demands effort.

I know that 5 is still young and that many countries don't start school until 7/8 yrs.

Basically, she hates reading and anything linked to it. I have tried playing games with sweets on word cards that she has sent home from school, she just won't play along and will show no interest in the sweets!

I have totally backed off as much as possible because I don't want to turn her off reading altogether but I still feel a duty to be reading her school reading book/word tin etc with her regularly. As soon as she sees them she plays up and starts having tantrums.

She has no SEN, she is very bright and makes connections easily etc. So I don't think there is an ability issue, she also picked up all the letter sounds very quickly.

I think that she has just decided that she doesn't want to do it and because of control issues and a very strong-willed nature she is determined not to give in.

When I have really pushed her beyond the tantrums she can do it and has been able to blend sounds together at home but is refusing to show them at school that she can do it.

Its just such a nightmare to get her to do anything and it all feels really negative at the moment.

I just feel like I have a duty, as her parent to support her with her reading but I feel like I am slacking off by not doing enough reading/homework etc with her because its just a total nightmare.

Any advice?

ChildofIsis Fri 12-Aug-11 14:27:49

I don't know if this is of any use to you, my niece went through this from 5 til 7yrs. She absolutely refused and would say 'you know i can't read!'

At the time her elder sister was being coached for senior school entry exams. The family now think it was an attention seeking ploy.

She's 8.5yrs now and loves books, has caught up with no problems at present.

I don't know if there's any correlation to your situation. What does her school suggest?

ClaimedByMe Fri 12-Aug-11 14:29:44

my dd is 8.5 now and still a reluctant reader, her teachers have saisshe reads well in school a bit behind her peers but nothing to worry about.

At home she would not entertain reading, we had tried everything, she would not do it until ds started reading at school and is a good reader and started to catch her up all of a sudden she was a fluent reader!

BeauFauxQuo Fri 12-Aug-11 15:52:51

Thanks for that, it's reassuring!

School just seem to think she can't do it, even when I have told them what she can do at home. Mind you they didn't believe she could count to 20 until recently, despite me telling them she could do it from when she was 3!

I think she has been getting extra attention/support at school so that is probably part of the issue, she definitely knows how to get attention!

ClaimedByMe, what did you do at home in terms of reading/homework when she was not doing it?

KristinaM Sat 13-Aug-11 14:26:54

Might be worth getting her eye sight tested

ClaimedByMe Sat 13-Aug-11 14:37:57

I found that last year when ds started school i had to spend less time with her as i had 2 sets of homework to oversee and she got on much better being left to do it alone, i avoided listening to her read and tried to get someone else to do it as she always read perfectly for anyone bar me or her dad!

I made her read everything and anything that wasnt a book, ds has an allergy so i had her reading ingredients, cooking instructions, sign posts, tv guides etc anything day to day that wasnt a book.

Is your dd reading ORT at school?

BeauFauxQuo Sat 13-Aug-11 17:14:51

Hi Kristina, funnily enough she failed her eye test at school and when I followed up with an optician visit she had 20:20 vision, think she was having them on at school. I have never had any concerns re her eyesight but I am keeping an eye on it iyswim

Claimed, unfortunately her Dad is rarely around during the week (works long hours) and there's no family etc locally. She has "read" to my sister but she played her up too. I will try to focus on other reading in context (not books) I think that might work. She is doing "Floppy's Phonics" which I think is linked to ORT

Italiangreyhound Sun 14-Aug-11 01:19:43

BeauFauxQuo my dd is 6 and not adopted but I read this threads occasionally as we have considered adoption and/or fostering and may look into it further one day.

My DD is really struggling with reading. We have just had a holiday in Sweden where kids do not even START looking at reading until they are 6 or 7. I have struggled with this and have no real answers but just wanted to express solidarity. my main concern is that I don't put DD off school/education. I was a reluctant reader and was still having special classes for years but ended up getting an English literature degree! Try if you can not to show your dd how stressed you feel (if you do feel stressed). One thing we have started to do is get DD to look for specific letters, so if we are driving I say look out for a street sign starting with 'A' etc and she started reading the shopping list of her own free will the other day! It is slow work, but I do feel one key thing is not to put too much pressure on her, she is still so young. If you are concerned it is to do with attention seeking, give her lots of non-reading attention (I am sure you do) and just make it fun! Songs with words like karaochi are good, e.g.

All the best.

readysalted Mon 15-Aug-11 12:29:17

my dd is adopted and point blank refused to entertain reading at all i was getting very worried she is 7 but all of a sudden in the last couple of months she has cracked it she just gets a bit stuck on long unusual words the change in her is mindblowing she is so confident and excited by the thrill of reading grin

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