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Gah!

(9 Posts)
misspollysdolly Mon 04-Jul-11 22:49:16

Tum te tum.... Somebody at guides has pressed DD's self-pitying and insecure buttons big time and now I'm trying desperately to resist the urge to 'own' the crap she's trying to throw at us... We are currently in therapy to address secondary trauma/burn-out at home so although I do 'get' the dynamic, we are only just starting to get to grips with how to find the strength to observe without taking it onto ourselves/myself....

misspollysdolly Mon 04-Jul-11 22:50:25

(Sorry, just wanted to share really...though any wisdom/thoughts/empathy gratefully accepted)

Beamur Mon 04-Jul-11 22:51:26

Will some sympathy do?

misspollysdolly Mon 04-Jul-11 22:58:03

Didn't want to go looking for it, but yes, I'll take anything I've can get... wink

misspollysdolly Mon 04-Jul-11 23:00:09

It's more this feeling like I'm resisting taking on the 'stuff' that isn't really mine to hold on to. Feel like I should actually have a little pot somewhere where everytime DD throw her insecurity/attachment stuff at me, I write it down, get it away from my brain, my thoughts, my emotions and shove it in the pot - shelve it or whatever... weird, but might work...?!

<MPD goes to find pot...>

Beamur Mon 04-Jul-11 23:00:24

smile
and breathe...tomorrow is another day, hope you can support your DD through this.

misspollysdolly Mon 04-Jul-11 23:07:30

Thank you smile

Maryz Tue 05-Jul-11 12:27:14

Part and parcel of parenting, isn't it, this guilt grin. It's all your fault, obviously! Whatever it is.

Take a deep breath and practice being sympathetic without admission of guilt. Imagine you are in a police station, and you must avoid, at all costs, the words "I did it" (especially if you don't know what "it" is).

ds1's life is all my fault, apparently hmm.

loflo Fri 08-Jul-11 19:50:58

Misspollydolly try a balloon - it really works for me. Sometimes I feel I need to offload all of DSs baggage that gets carried around with us so we blow up balloons and float them away. Your DD is maybe a bit old for that but maybe a chinese lantern where you can write things on before sending it up to the sky?

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