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In 5 days we'll know if we are able to adopt a little girl

(536 Posts)
lettinggo Sat 25-Jun-11 12:44:18

I won't go thorugh all the process that's brought us this far, but we're 6 1/2 years in the process.

In 5 days time, on June 30th, we're going to find out if we will be able to adopt a little girl from Russia. She must be made available for domestic adoption until June 30th and after that will be able to be adopted internationally. She has some minor health issues, as far as we know nothing hugely serious, but apparantly Russians don't like to adopt children with health issues. She's been adoptable since she was 2 months old.

For the past month we've known about her and have been told that if she doesn't get adopted domestically, we will be allowed to adopt her. In my heart I know we should be hoping she gets to be adopted domestically because that would obviously be what is best for her but it's hard not to hope that it doesn't happen. I'm just not that good.

And now there's only 5 days to go and she's still there. I'm not at all religious, I certainly don't pray. But I remember years ago doing a novena (type of prayer service you do for 9 days where you pray for a specific thing) to St Francis Xavier and the words are rattling around in my head

"but if what I ask is not for the glory of God and the good of my soul,
I pray and desire that which is most conducive to both"

Might not make sense to anyone not Catholic but it's a comfort at the moment.
Sorry for the ramble. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Thursday at 1pm (close of business in that part of Russia).

LuptoLego Thu 13-Jul-17 07:44:38

The best thread I've ever read. So so happy for you and your family op. Please keep updating every year.

mineallmine Tue 18-Apr-17 19:50:24

Lovely to see this thread still alive. Dd is still a little ray of sunshine and is thriving in every way. We'll never stop pinching ourselves. She loves everyone but her Daddy most of all these days (unless she's sick or tired in which case it's still Mammy she wants😉) "I do love you Mammy but I just love Daddy bigger."

Gabsdot, Dublin is so small that if we don't actually know each other, we surely know people in common. I'm Northside?

gabsdot Mon 17-Apr-17 10:00:20

I've just read through this too. We might know each other actually. I live in Dublin and we have 2 Russian adopted kids. Mine are 13 and 9 now.
Reading your story brought back so many memories of our experience.
I met up with some other "Russia adoptive mammies last week and we were commenting on what a crazy experience we all share. I wouldn't change it for the world.

itsbeenaverylongweek Sun 16-Apr-17 01:29:33

Well I'm so glad that Confused stumbled across this thread as it being bumped up meant I've now read the whole thing through (later night than I was planning!). It was lovely to read the whole journey and people's advice along the way smile

Confusedsolicitor123 Fri 14-Apr-17 10:39:21

I stumbled on this thread and have laid in bed all morning ( rather than starting my HUGE to do list) reading it from start to finish. It seems a little strange to randomly post so late after the (initial) events, but I just wanted to say how amazing you are mineallmine. I hope you, your dh, ds and dd are all blissfully happy. Xxxx

mineallmine Tue 14-Jun-16 10:48:30

Thanks, thebigmummabear.

thebigmummabear Tue 14-Jun-16 10:20:27

I have just found this thread and have spent the morning reading your story! It really is such a wonderful story. I have 2dc of my own but have always thought about adoption, specifically a child with additional needs from a childrens home (my dd is disabled.) It really has made up my mind that this is something that I want to do. You have given an honest account of the ups and downs but it bought a tear to my eye reading ur story. Please keep updating as I will be checking back to see how you are all doing. You sound like such a wonderful mother to both your children, you should be so proud of yourself smile

mineallmine Fri 10-Jun-16 23:24:26

No worries, Just5 ;)

NavyAndWhite Fri 10-Jun-16 13:24:27

I did wonder Just5grin

Just5minswithDacre Fri 10-Jun-16 13:21:29

Please feel free to add your reports to my own to hurry things up smile

And now I've lost my place in the lovely story too. I must learn to bookmark!

Just5minswithDacre Fri 10-Jun-16 13:17:20

It was a post for another thread, posted here by mistake. I reported it as soon as I did it, MNHQ must be snowed under.

mineallmine Thu 09-Jun-16 17:19:52

Just5, I don't know how you got the idea I was going to talk to anyone, adult or child, as if they were a naughty child? Or that i wanted to manage anyone? All i want is for dd to ask her questions when she is there emotionally herself, and not to have been led there by her more emotionally mature friends who actually 'get' adoption before she does. Anyway, i spoke to B's mother this morning while they were no children around, told her what had happened and she couldn't have been nicer. She said she was going to bring it up with me because she had been fielding questions and wanted to ask us what was the right way to approach it, what language to use etc. So a lovely chat, a cuppa and noone was scolded or managed.

NavyAndWhite Thu 09-Jun-16 14:28:20

That's harsh Just5.

I think the OP has to speak to the parents about this. I'm not sure how much this little girl knows of her past but surely it's up to the parents to monitor this.

Anyway I'm glad she's doing so well. I remember you sent me a PM with a photo of her when you first got her. ( NC since ) she sounds adorable and you are all so lucky to have each other she's right smile

Just5minswithDacre Thu 09-Jun-16 10:12:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mineallmine Thu 09-Jun-16 00:59:58

June update: the latest fun is doing 'eenie meanie miney mo' to choose who puts her to bed at night. Dh and I have to sit on the couch together while she twirls and points to the winner ;) and we have to be very excited if we're chosen;)

Her little friend B, just turned 6, asked me yesterday if I took her from another mammy in Russia. I was so taken aback. Dd is nowhere near understanding her loss yet so I'm going to talk to friend's mother to try to keep it away from dd til she gets there herself. So much ahead of my poor dd, I wish I could take that future pain away.
She rides her bike with no stabilisers now, flies around the place.
When her brother comes home from school, she greets him with a big hug and says 'Brother.'
She still sleeps with one of us every night, and we're happy to let her for as long as she likes. As my wise mother says, she won't be doing it when she's 14 and you'll be sorry after her when she's gone.
She's still little miss sunshine, loves everything and everyone (but especially her mammy!!!) We count our blessings each and every day. She regularly says 'Weren't you so lucky to get me?'

Ilikesweetpeas Thu 26-May-16 20:24:34

Just lovely OP, I hope that you and your family are always so happy

NeedACleverNN Mon 08-Feb-16 14:12:00

I've just stumbled on this too and I had a warm heart all the way through to the point where I'm now actually thinking about adoption...

Will have to seriously look into it and go from there

StrawberryLeaf Wed 27-Jan-16 23:31:50

I have also just stumbled on your thread and read from start to finish. What a beautiful family, your dd sounds wonderful.

MaryPoppinsPenguins Sun 24-Jan-16 15:46:16

I've just read your thread from start to finish and just wanted to say how amazing your story is! I'm sad to get to page 21 and have no more updates!! smile

Expatmomma Sat 02-Jan-16 09:39:37

Wow have just read your whole thread with a lump in my throat.

I was adopted too so this has really moved me. Your love and happiness pour out of these pages.

As a teen / young adult I would have loved to be able to read such details about my early days in my family. I hope you can print this thread off for her.

Did you ever manage to stay in contact and send photos to her old carers?

Wishing you and all your family all the very best for the future.

pleasegotowork Fri 25-Dec-15 09:37:30

Another thing I don't want to forget. She's playing now with her new Anna and Elsa dolls, making one of them the Mammy and the other one is 'the darling.' She thinks daughter and darling mean the same thing. When she's playing with me, she'll say ' You be the mam and I'll be the darling.'

pleasegotowork Thu 24-Dec-15 20:49:36

It's me again with an annual update. No need for anyone to reply, you've heard it all before. I just want to keep a record of the year passing and I have no diary record anywhere else.

Well we're 4 years home today and I'm STILL pinching myself. I don't think I'll ever get over it, how darn lucky we are. DD is the happiest child on this earth. Earlier, DH was washing the pots and I was sitting on the couch and dd called dh over to sit with us. Dh said no, I'm washing up and she said 'But you're part of my family, you have to sit.'

Not sending her to school this year was absolutely the best decision. She's thriving in playschool this year, so much more confident and learning much more. She's returned to speech therapy- she has a brilliant vocabulary but has trouble with sequencing. Also, ongoing bowel issues will mean she'll hopefully have an SNA in school next year, at least for the first year.

She really sociable and loves playing with her 3 local friends. She often plays "Mammies' and puts a doll under her dress to pretend to be pregnant. She still loves her adoption story but doesn't seem to have any understanding of what it means.

She said to Dh a few months ago, in total innocence, "I love Mammy the best, don't I Dad?" which Dh took on the chin smile She still loves her big brother and occasionally allows him to put her to bed. She gave up her dodi (dummy) in August and at last moved out of my bed and into her own room in October. She still comes into our bed every night at some point though.

I asked her the other night what she wants to be when she grows up and she said "a clamper or a fireman lady."

Life is good.

Marylou62 Sun 04-Jan-15 12:56:54

I have lurked here for ages and don't feel I have a 'right' to comment but WOW...just WOW! I've just spent a most enjoyable few hours in bed reading every a lurker I feel I' know' you all so well....You are all amazing....heart warming and tear inducing in places....good luck to you all...AFM...I had always wanted to adopt/foster....from a very young age...teens or special needs...I always intended to do it when mine were grown...well they are but I am having a terrible menopause(and a bit unwell).....I think you are all amazing...I am still working on it...

Italiangreyhound Wed 31-Dec-14 00:39:28

Lovely thanks mineallmine.

Pop over and chip in if you wish to.

mineallmine Wed 31-Dec-14 00:35:55

Thanks for the lovely comments. She's pure gorgeous, there's no doubt about it. She definitely has a spark about her that makes people go gooey over her!

Italian, brilliant answer and I'm kicking myself that I didn't think of it. I hope you had a lovely Christmas as a family of foursmile

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