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In 5 days we'll know if we are able to adopt a little girl

(546 Posts)
lettinggo Sat 25-Jun-11 12:44:18

I won't go thorugh all the process that's brought us this far, but we're 6 1/2 years in the process.

In 5 days time, on June 30th, we're going to find out if we will be able to adopt a little girl from Russia. She must be made available for domestic adoption until June 30th and after that will be able to be adopted internationally. She has some minor health issues, as far as we know nothing hugely serious, but apparantly Russians don't like to adopt children with health issues. She's been adoptable since she was 2 months old.

For the past month we've known about her and have been told that if she doesn't get adopted domestically, we will be allowed to adopt her. In my heart I know we should be hoping she gets to be adopted domestically because that would obviously be what is best for her but it's hard not to hope that it doesn't happen. I'm just not that good.

And now there's only 5 days to go and she's still there. I'm not at all religious, I certainly don't pray. But I remember years ago doing a novena (type of prayer service you do for 9 days where you pray for a specific thing) to St Francis Xavier and the words are rattling around in my head

"but if what I ask is not for the glory of God and the good of my soul,
I pray and desire that which is most conducive to both"

Might not make sense to anyone not Catholic but it's a comfort at the moment.
Sorry for the ramble. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Thursday at 1pm (close of business in that part of Russia).

LoopsInHoops Mon 24-Dec-12 17:05:12

This is so lovely. You are very lucky, and very lovely too. smile

Lilka Mon 24-Dec-12 19:05:50

Just wonderful smile

Have a lovely family christmas!

KristinaM Mon 24-Dec-12 19:34:51

Happy Christmas to you and your beautiful daughter. With the lovely name ;-)

Devora Mon 24-Dec-12 23:07:56

Thanks so much for the update - I often think about her!

Really glad all is well for your lovely family. Have a great Christmas smile

Happyasapiginshite Wed 26-Dec-12 00:02:59

For anyone who's interested, I uploaded 2 photos of dd taken today, one on her own and another with her very handsome big brother and her gorgeous cousin. I'll leave them there for a few days.

KristinaM Wed 26-Dec-12 00:39:23

That child is cute as a button! Ds3 has worn specs since he was 13 months old so I'm always a sucker for a LO with glasses. He wants round ones like that again as he's going through a Harry potter phase. Santa brought him a robe , scarf , tie and wand today, he's going around casting spells grin

Happyasapiginshite Wed 26-Dec-12 00:45:02

O Kristina, my ds went through the Harry Potter thing too, it's sooo cute. For Halloween one time, I spray-dyed his hair black to go with his cloak and roundy glasses. He was quite jealous of dd when she got her glasses.

Happyasapiginshite Wed 26-Dec-12 00:49:05


KristinaM Wed 26-Dec-12 00:51:12

Oh excellent! He was so excited today. There's a spell he casts at his siblings and they throw themselves backwards onto the ground and another when things fly up it the air! And he was so pleased that the sorting hat hat decided he was in gryfendor ( sp??) . I'm not a Harry potter but fortunately Dh and the other kids are.

We were at the opticians this week to collect new frames for him and he was asking them if his next ones can be round like your DDs and the ones he had when he was small. But of course they only make them in the toddler size with the curl sides .

Elmofan Wed 26-Dec-12 10:38:48

Your DD is beautiful smile I hope you are all having a lovely Christmas smile <best wishes from another Dublin-er ;) >

stifnstav Wed 26-Dec-12 12:46:16

In floods here!

Happyasapiginshite Wed 26-Dec-12 15:02:50

Thanks Elmo and stifnstav. I still well up when I look at her asleep. I'm so completely grateful for her, if that makes sense. I can't believe how lucky we are. You'd eat her up if you saw her, she makes total strangers smile at her when she says 'he-woe' (hello). It would melt a heart of stone.

Kristina, it's lovely that you ds3's siblings play along with him. <<And can I show off my extensive HP knowledge by telling you that 'expellionis' is the spell for repelling people and 'wingardiumleviosa' to make things levitate? Our HP phase went on for a few years and I loved it completely >>

Devora Wed 26-Dec-12 21:39:40

She's lovely!

dd1 has just entered the HP phase and is obsessed. On the plus side, it has finally got her reading for pleasure (though she is a good reader, she has always seen it as schoolwork and not as fun). On the down side, she keeps getting scared at bedtime, so I'm going to have to knock it on the head.

Funnily enough, just today she was on at me today about wearing glasses. She has been desperate for them for the last year, and thinks it very unfair of the optician not to agree.

Italiangreyhound Thu 27-Dec-12 01:42:23

Happy have just (over last couple of days) read bits of your story from this thread and it is so moving. Thank you for sharing.

Can I ask which book it was that Kristina lent you a year ago that was so good, or any others you have read, please?

Also, my DD is 8 so by the time we adopt she may be about the age of your lad when you adopted dd. Can I ask for any tips on dealing with the whole birth child and adopted child thing, how to handle everything to make it all good (or as good as can be) for both, please?

I know I am getting ahead of myself as we have not even had our prep course yet, let alone been approved! But I so much want the whole DD and new DD/DS thing to go well. My DD is so important to me, and although she really really wants a sibling I know her nose will be put out of joint not to be the centre of things. In the long run it will be (I am sure) a great thing for her, but in the early days it may be very hard and I am just keen to be aware of it all and to learn from more experienced people like your good self.

All best wishes for the New Year and the photos are lovely.

happygilmore Fri 28-Dec-12 10:50:54

Have just read your story through from the beginning, wow it brought a tear to my eye. What an amazing family you are! Sorry missed your photos, but I imagine your daughter is just beautiful.

littlemoon86 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:09:08

What a beautiful and inspiring story. I missed your photos too!

Happyasapiginshite Wed 23-Jan-13 12:22:32

Italian - so sorry, I thought I'd replied to you before now. The book Kristina sent to me is called Babytalk. Here's the Amazon link to it.
It really is a good book to use - I still use it. It makes you feel good because most of the suggestions are things you'll find you're doing already so you feel very smug! It focuses you though, makes you think about how you're doing things. DD was just back with the speech therapist last week and she doesn't want to see her again until June. DD is flying now with her speech. She's still behind some of my friends' children who are a similar age but she has over 50 words so is officially in the 'average' range for a child of 2 years. Every day there's new words and 2 word sentences. (yesterday's word of the day, repeated many times in just the right tone, was 'Jesus'blush)

I felt the same as you about wanting the sibling relationship to be good. My ds was (in hindsight) too involved in the waiting for dd so there was a huge build up and expectation for him. He thought life was going to be perfect from the beginning. In many ways it was in that dd loved him from the start and let him hold and play with her long before she let dh into her heart. It was hard for him too, though, because she really did consume every bit of me. She wanted to be in my arms constantly for months, and while I know this was really important for her for her attachment to me, it meant I really had no energy left for him. I feel like I've been a shit mother to him for the last year. We're out the other side of it now and it was good for ds and dh because they stuck together and did lots of things together instead but I'm making a very conscious effort to spend time with ds now.

Dd and ds are great pals, but ds does have to be told to play with her. If he had his choice, he would come in from school, throw her in the air a couple of times and that would be that. While he loves her, she is boring to him too. He doesn't enjoy sitting on the floor playing princess castles with her (funnily enough). My niece is 6 and she is dd's favourite person in the world. She follows her around like her shadow. Dn really enjoys playing with her and their relationship is just beautiful to watch. Dn is an only child so it's lovely for her to have a 'girl cousin.' In many ways, she's like a bridge between ds and dd if that makes any sense? I hope the three of them grow up to be always close.

I think it will be very hard for your dd when you have your child. I thought I'd prepared ds for it but I had no idea just how much all of our lives would revolve around her. My ds is a quiet fella, not at all attention-seeking, and he found it a huge transition. Even though I feel like he was very much sidelined, I don't know what I could have done differently. Dd needed me more. I'm glad ds was at an age where to some extent he was able to understand. And now that we're a year down the line, I can see that it's all-consuming for a time and then things even out.

This has turned into an essay, sorry!

Italiangreyhound Wed 23-Jan-13 19:00:04

Thanks so much Happyasapiginshite, great.

Could I ask the age difference between your children, please?

Happyasapiginshite Wed 23-Jan-13 19:03:47

ds is 12 and dd is 2.

funnychic Wed 23-Jan-13 19:51:47

Hiya everyone

I am confused! Photo's how do you see someone's photo's? I seemed to have missed a trick on here!!

Happyasapiginshite Wed 23-Jan-13 21:07:54

If you hover over someone's name and a line appears under it, you can look at their profile and there may be photos on it. I'm going to put a photo of dd on again now for a couple of days so if you hover over my name in a minute, you'll be able to access my photos. Lucky you grin grin

Happyasapiginshite Wed 23-Jan-13 21:17:59

OK funnychic, there's 2 photos there now.

funnychic Wed 23-Jan-13 21:36:48

Thanks so much your kids are lovely. xx

Happyasapiginshite Wed 23-Jan-13 22:05:35

Thanks funnychic, I can't help but agree with you grin

rosieposey Wed 23-Jan-13 23:13:38

Ahhh I've just spent an hour and a half reading this thread from start to finish and have seen the photos of your beautiful family smile

What a wonderful story for you all, she is a beauty and I'm so glad she is your DD. I have cried on nearly every page ( a bit hormonal after having dc 5 7 weeks ago) because you have a gorgeous way of expressing how much you all love this little dot and how much she has changed your lives.

So glad for you all - what a beautiful journey and you are all still so near the beginning. Thank you sharing it smile I will look for updates smile

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