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Help needed to make sense of my relationship with my bio sister

(2 Posts)
slipperandpjsmum Sat 28-May-11 19:34:22

I was adopted when I was 6 months old. After that my birth Mum went on to marry my birth father and have two other children 3 and 5 years later. I made contact with them 25 years ago now.

After my Dad (adopted) died 6 years ago I could not cope with the relationship with them any longer. They were all very big drinkers my birth Mum was alcohol dependent and things became very emotional so I stopped seeing them and my life was much less fraught without them in it. I do not like lots of dramas (having children I just don't have the energy)!! I continued to have contact with my siblings but my sister was not at all supportive following my Dad's death which devastated me and we both drifted apart.

The Christmas before last she sent me a card and we got back in touch. But my problem is and where I would value everyone advice is that we seem to have fallen into a virtual relationship. Its always me that asks her to meet up and all we do is text (everyday). She keeps saying (texting) how sad she is for all those lost years and how she has needed years of counselling to come to terms with it. I said we needed to look forwards not back and make the most of the future.

I am struggling to understand why she does not want to have more of a face to face relationship. We lead very different lives, she is married and volunteers, no children. I work, am married with a family.

Should I say why don't we meet up more? Why don't you want to have a part of my life? I am really worried about getting hurt but I am getting fed up with the relationship we have seemed to have developed.

Maryz Sat 28-May-11 20:10:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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