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Is possible for a married couple to place a child for adoption in the UK?

(118 Posts)
jay002 Sat 12-Mar-11 13:59:52

I'm actually asking this question on of my sister in law. She's expecting and her and my brother never planned to have children and aren't really capable of looking after a child. They decided to look into adoption a only to find out that in Ireland a married couple cant give their baby up for adoption. Their only choice is to keep the baby or put it in foster care. She's devastated at this and absolutely doesn't want the child to end up in care. Is it possible for a married couple to put a child up for adoption in the UK? I wouldn't think they'd be able to do it from here in Ireland but if they moved over to England would it even be possible or are the laws similar to here?

thumbwitch Sat 12-Mar-11 14:03:25

Could you take the child? it would be your niece or nephew, wouldn't it? or the grandparents? Why does the child have to go outside the family?

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your question but am quite shock and that it's necessary and trying very hard not to be judgey but failing quite badly.blush

jay002 Sat 12-Mar-11 14:09:34

I can't take the child and there's no other extended family to take the child either.

thumbwitch Sat 12-Mar-11 14:11:52

Well I hope someone can answer your question then.
Would it really be so bad for your DB and SIL to bring up their own child? Are they drug users or something? trying to think of sane reasons why they would be unable to do so.

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 14:12:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumpelstiltskinsHat Sat 12-Mar-11 14:12:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RipVanLilka Sat 12-Mar-11 14:42:50

I am appalled at that law! Way to make a statement about unmarried mothers shock Being able to parent a child or not is nothing to do with marital status!

I would not recommend fiddling the system though. As hard as the situation is, the child will have to live with what happens in the coming months, and it isn't right for the child to grow up being told one thing, only to find out it was lies later. Also agree with maryz, a prvate arrangement isn't likely to end well.

If they are absolutely certain adoption is right, then is it legal to cross the border into UK and give birth there?

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 14:43:38

Perhaps the situation in Ireland is related to contraception and abortion being disapproved of, if that is in fact the case in practice? Perhaps adoption of the child of a married couple is also disapproved of because it is seen as the duty of the parents to raise their child?

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 14:49:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 14:50:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 14:50:35

Is it possible for a single mother to give up her child for adoption in Ireland?

QBEE Sat 12-Mar-11 14:59:14

I think that it is incredibly sad that their options are so limited because they are married.

Are you absolutely sure that no other family members will take the child? I cannot imagine turning away one of my siblings children but I have never been in that position.
Do they or the unborn child have a physical or mental impairment, is that the reason you state they are incapable?

I truly hope that this works out well for all concerned.

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 15:00:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 15:00:28

@ Maryz :- I had already realised it is a legal issue, but there are always reasons why the law, in any country, is as it is.

RipVanLilka Sat 12-Mar-11 15:03:49

I understand now Maryz - very sad sad

I wish someone would reform the irish system as it relates to adoption and fostering. But it seems from what you've said it won't happen anytime soon

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 15:06:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 15:07:18

@ Maryz et al :- I would think the reason why single mothers can give up a child are fairly obvious. I don't think the situation re married couples will have much to do with the Constitution as such, apart from being in the Constitution. Anyway, good luck with getting the Constitution changed, if that is in fact what you want to do.

Maryz Sat 12-Mar-11 15:22:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Checkmate Sat 12-Mar-11 15:31:41

OP - I think its potentially very brave and selfless of them to consider adoption. I say this as a former foster carer, who has seen the horrible impact on children of being looked after by parents who aren't capable of it. I wish we had more of the US approach to adoption here, with pregnant women able to really consider adoption is a viable option alongside termination,

I wonder whether contacting one of the UK based adoption charities directly would be a good approach? Receiving counseling, and then being matched with prospective adopters that way?

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 15:32:14

@ Maryz :- Is being pedantic a crime these days?

bran Sat 12-Mar-11 15:51:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 15:53:25

@ Checkmate :- I think the married couple in question will find it a lot more difficult to avoid Irish law than simply contacting a UK adoption charity. Anyone in doubt, could try avoiding UK adoption law by eg travelling to Ireland and see how that works out.

bran Sat 12-Mar-11 15:56:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment Sat 12-Mar-11 16:03:36

@ bran :- The same comments about "avoiding" Irish adoption law apply to you as well.

Checkmate Sat 12-Mar-11 16:10:04

melvinscomment - You clearly know nothing about Irish adoption law (other than what you've just learned from Maryz) so I don't think you're the right one to judge whether a UK adoption agency will be able to help. Either way, its only a phone call.

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