My husband and I have been seriously considering adoption. Very briefly we are fertile (I hate that word!) but after a traumatic pregnancy we both feel that we have no desire to be pregnant but we do feel that we could make someone loving parents.
What I wondered is, if there are any people on this board who were adopted but now adult who would give me their views?
My reason for asking is this - I have just read an article in The Guardian written from an adoptive fathers perspective and whilst it was very interesting reading, what shook me to the core were the public comments.
I won't put the link on this site as I feel these comments could be very disturbing for parents to read but the hatred and bitterness from adults who were adopted has really shaken me.
The language is so strong, the insults even cut me deeply and I was only thinking about it. To be honest the idea that any child/children I adopted would grow up with those views about me and my husband makes me re-think it. It really gave the impression that these people see adopters as evil people ripping children from the breasts of loving mothers. Like I say, the strength of feeling has really shaken me (and my husband who's a burly copper!)
What concerned me as well is that there seemed to be no balance to the discussion. There is one Social Worker defending adoption but not one adoptee saying hey, my experience was not like that.
I guess what I'm asking is, can anybody reassure me that this isn't how everyone feels? I understand that adopted children have an incredibly hard start in life and will experience a sense of loss that I cannot appreciate but like I say, the bitterness was palbable in the comments and it makes me re-consider if what I want to do really is a good thing?
I can post the link if people want to read the article but I'm not sure I'd reccommend it - like I say it shook me to the core and I was only considering it.
I hope I haven't offended anyone by asking this question and I know it is not a simple black and white discussion, every child will react differently to any situation but the comments very genuinely really upset me.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
Some views from adults who were adopted
Debs3013 · 10/11/2010 20:01
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