Psychological Disorders and Absent parents

(9 Posts)
Nipperless Mon 10-Jun-19 06:36:22

I was hoping someone could help me, a couple of years ago my ex partner told me a word I'd never heard of. It was to describe the effects of growing up without parents. I guess I had your typical upbringing for the 1970's.. an oft violent, drunk, gambler who liked to terrorise us all.. sexual abuse commited by a relative/baby sitter.. my mother was obviously affected by this too but I had to leave her to her own mental health issues.. it's been almost 20 years since I spoke with her.. 30 years since I saw my father... much like the other sibbling I occasionally have contact with; I don't feel any impetus to contact them as I know this would not help me, however selfish that sounds.. I would say this has had predictable outcomes on my ability to form healthy relationships.. to be fair, the older I get the more reclusive I'm becoming, which is definitely one way of avoiding negative interactions.. the reason I asked the question, is because I would like to better understand/ read about how other people in the same situation coped with life, especially males getting past their thirties.. searched for an hour this morning but every post seemed to be regarding the effects of absent father's.. not both.. thanks for reading.

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SarahAndQuack Mon 10-Jun-19 09:29:55

This sounds awful. sad I'm so sorry.

I think, though, you ought to re-post this (or get MN to move it) to Relationships. You'll get more replies there.

Nipperless Mon 10-Jun-19 10:04:29

Thank you Sarah. It's just I received an Asperger's diagnosis after many hours of counselling and assessments, I partly disagree with this diagnosis.. my sister is mentally more equipped/stronger than me.. she was diagnosed with PTSD.. I guess some of my personality is abnormal but I would normal given the history.. anyway, the reason I posted here is because of that forgotten word(s).. a disorder stemming from a parent less childhood, I remember my ex said the similarities with Asperger's couldn't be ignored.. I do feel ok in general, I'm well educated and over paid, so it's not all bad..

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SarahAndQuack Mon 10-Jun-19 13:56:27

Sorry, what I mean is: this section is usually posted in by people who teach/research in universities. I'm absolutely not saying you shouldn't post, only that I think you've posted in a sub-forum where we're possibly not the most qualified to help!

Nipperless Mon 10-Jun-19 16:38:26

Thanks Sarah, I'll find out how to get it moved.

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Nearlyalmost50 Mon 10-Jun-19 17:23:49

If you report your own thread and then ask MN to move it to Relationships they will do so- the report button is on the right at the top of each post.

Nipperless Mon 10-Jun-19 18:10:24

Thanks for the advice, I copied and pasted it to Relationships.. not sure I'll get the answer.. I'll find it on Google eventually.. I guess I only posted the above because someone else struggling to find the same.. if that's you and you're reading this, I don't have much to say beyond giving my own experience in a few words but I will say that words are the answer.. "Nor billowy surge disturbs the vast profound.."

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PotatoScallop Fri 14-Jun-19 10:13:45

Not an academic, even slightly. Was it reactive attachment disorder? Very common in kids removed/adopted from parents...

Nipperless Fri 14-Jun-19 12:19:42

Thanks but no potato, it's ok anyway, I've come to realise it's probably not important.. no words or labels are going to help my current situation..

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