I don't know what to do about work. I feel utterly exhausted and fed-up with my job and yet I don't know where to go /what to do next. Would be really grateful for advice or just a listening ear/commiserations!
Background is that I am a lecturer in a healthcare discipline, teaching contract. No PhD (that's part of my dilemma) but am senior member of team and have a significant leadership role within the dept. Have been there 7 years longest I've ever worked anywhere
I am over it. I have lost all passion for the job and am simply going through the motions. I like my colleagues but I now work from home as much as possible because I cba to go in. I am getting to the stage where I do only as much as it takes to get the job done, no more, and what I do do I find a chore. I am swamped under admin, student issues and dealing with senior, highly-experienced colleagues who are masters at blameshifting and buck-passing and who cite mental health 'fragility' whenever they are pulled up on poor behaviour or frank idiocy.
For example, this morning I am trying to write a lecture that I am giving tomorrow morning. I've left it to the last minute, I feel completely disengaged from / uninterested in the subject despite it being my area of supposed expertise and I am seriously considering just phoning in sick. I won't, of course, but I feel as if I'm wading through treacle.
I am simultaneously under pressure to commence a PhD in order to meet faculty requirements and progress my career but also being told that there will be little support for me to do so (reduce my hours etc) within the dept. And colleagues who have recently completed their doctorates are now being threatened with not passing their probations due to shifting goalposts within the faculty; they're being treated like shit basically and there is even talk of bringing a class action suit for constructive dismissal.
I cannot go any further in an academic career without a PhD but am starting to wonder whether it's even worth it.
I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point, and part of me is devastated and wants desperately to get back my passion for my job. The other part of me just wants to go and work in Tesco. I have wondered about going down to 4 days a week but I have seen other colleagues do that and end up just cramming more into less time.
Most of the time I just feel like screaming 'I don't fucking CARE!' whenever anyone mentions anything I'm supposed to be interested in, work wise. That's not good, is it?
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Exhausted, burnt out, bored, or all three?
14 replies
UnnecessaryFennel · 15/10/2018 09:52
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