Stepping down from committee as overwhelmed -wwyd?

[purplepandas]

Hi

I am in a pickle and not managing. Previously posted about work life balance as have none atm. Young family and all that goes with it. I am clearing the decks as much as poss and ruthlessly saying no to stuff to help myself as mental health is not good atm at all. But, I have a real issue about standing down from one external committee. I have done one year of three. I did mention to the committe head that I was struggling but a family member of theirs is now seriously unwell so I feel that I have to soldier on. But I just can't and I know it is shitty but I am drowning. Just not sure I can keep on as more work not less heading my way in this role. The previous committee head is standing in so someone I could raise with but timing is awful and it feels v selfish. I don't like letting people down, it feels wrong.

What would you do? Just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Pp

[user918273645]

Resign citing family issues without going into details.

[user918273645]

And remember that many academics don't do external committees at all unless they see something in it for them i.e. by doing one year of three you have already contributed more than many are willing to do.

[purplepandas]

Thanks user. Just feels like deserting a sinking ship. Timing is all wrong at both ends. If I was reading this I would say hang in there and I know it.

[Summerswallow]

If your mental health is genuinely at stake, then you have to do whatever you have to do to get that ok again before proceeding. It's really nothing to do with you what other people's circumstances are, or what yours are to them- if the role is a good one, others will take it, if it is not, then that is not your issue. Just write the withdrawal letter and get on with it, better let them know sooner rather than later. If you had an accident and couldn't work- the world would keep turning and this committee would keep running (or find that it was redundant!). You are not indispensable, no-one is!

[purplepandas]

Thanks summer. I appreciate your honesty.