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Tell me about your CF students...

(18 Posts)
GameOldBirdz Thu 05-Oct-17 13:17:10

Me and a few colleagues last night were exchanging war stories of unbelievable and/of CF students.

Sadly these cases seem to be increasing with the marketisation of HE and there's lots of underlying misogyny but there's humour to be found in there somewhere...

One of my colleagues told us about her first lecture at a new university when she mentioned to the students that she'd just started. At the end of the lecture, a student handed her an evaluation of her performance shock

Mine would be when a student showed up at my office at 9:45am nearly in tears begging me to let her use my office computer to print her essay (due in at 10am) as her printer had just broken and the computer room was full. I took pity on her. She sat down, plugged in her USB, opened Chrome and went to Facebook shock. When I challenged her she said he had "plenty of time" as the essay submission was only down the corridor. I threw her out without her printed essay. She filed a formal complaint about me hmm

Every year I get comments in my module evaluations about my hair. I do have funky hair and I do change it often but still...

IHeartDodo Thu 05-Oct-17 16:22:17

Haha I had one who emailed me to say he'd missed my lecture so could I meet him and explain it to him... er no!
The same guy then told his supervisor he was struggling with the material and he thought he might need some extra help! Concerned supervisor (lovely man) emailed me to ask if I could possible help him... I acidly suggested he should try coming to the timetabled sessions first and if he still needed extra help I'd be happy to! Next lecture... he's not there!

IHeartDodo Thu 05-Oct-17 16:23:56

Ooh another - My colleague got an evaluation form where in the "any other comments" box they'd put: "she's fit"

IHeartDodo Thu 05-Oct-17 16:24:41

And don't get me started about the "urgent" emails at 11pm about assignments due the next morning!

GiantSteps Thu 05-Oct-17 21:20:10

I urge my colleagues only to send emails to students between 9am and 5pm, Monday to Friday.

FarmerGilesRockfordFiles Fri 06-Oct-17 08:07:25

When I was a PhD student, I got an open comment in one of my module evaluations saying "You're really beautiful. I wish I had the courage to ask you out" shock

iveburntthetoast Fri 06-Oct-17 14:38:08

I had a student many years ago who plagiarised one of my articles in an essay. It was my first & only article that I’d published iunder my maiden name. They had lifted a good 500 words straight out of the article. They clearly thought nobody would recognise it. grin

ArbitraryName Fri 06-Oct-17 14:42:01

I had just started a job and a student plagiarised an article I'd written in their essay. It was a lovely start to the job.

BelfastSmile Fri 06-Oct-17 14:56:48

3 students handed in identical pieces of coursework, including matching spelling mistakes and calculation errors. It was Maths, and they could easily have copied it across and changed some of the numbers in the examples and got away with it, but they didn't even have the sense to do that!

allegretto Fri 06-Oct-17 16:26:59

A student asked me for my home phone number because she couldn't always come to lessons and she would like me to give her a summary.

GiantSteps Fri 06-Oct-17 16:40:36

because she couldn't always come to lessons and she would like me to give her a summary

I have an allergic reaction to the use of "lessons" in a university. We give lectures, and direct seminars or tutorials. We don't teach "lessons." The fact that more and more undergraduates use the term (and put their hands up in a seminar to ask permission to speak) demonstrates how infantilised they've become. And how much some of them remain complicit in that infantilisation.

allegretto Fri 06-Oct-17 17:26:12

You 're right but in my university language lessons differ from lectures - and are referred to as such. I am not a lecturer but a teacher (unfortunately! )

YetAnotherSpartacus Sat 07-Oct-17 13:17:54

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeSdC7lbAlA

Marasme Sat 07-Oct-17 19:24:29

amazing smile

LRDtheFeministDragon Sat 07-Oct-17 22:02:45

Many of my students have been amazing, but a couple stick in mind:

- The student who, when I asked him to stop eating in a lecture, continued. He then filed a complaint and emailed to tell me that, as he had been a soldier and knew how to fire a gun, he could give me the benefit of the doubt, as most students wouldn't, and he would let me off this time. Yes, I was spooked.

- The student who assumed I would rearrange meetings to stretch over two more months than agreed, including the period during which my daughter was due. When told I might be busy with a newborn, this student grudgingly accepted my limitations, but suggested I just email detailed notes in lieu of a meeting, since it was very stressful to keep rearranging meetings. hmm

IHeartDodo Sun 08-Oct-17 16:13:27

Bloody hell LRD! What happened with the first one?

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 08-Oct-17 17:19:02

Not a lot. My head of department was very sympathetic to me and got the student to apologise, which he did, after a fashion. I never saw him in my lectures again, but I believe he graduated just fine.

BellaHadidHere Thu 12-Oct-17 08:42:33

When discussing my research, one of my students yesterday suggested "You should speak to [insert colleague's name] about this. He's worked a lot in this field and could help you"

hmm

(a) I don't fucking need help
(b) This colleague is a very close collaborator already
(c) What the fuck do you know about it

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