Struggling with work and home - how do others do it?

[purplepandas]

I am not sure that anyone can help but I am finding work and home really hard at the moment. Work is insane as I moved unis so have semester one full of new teaching to prep. It will be easier in semester two as only a few lectures so can get more research done etc. I have had a fair bit of travel too for various things (committee roles etc). That takes time out but means more stress with childcare commitments too.

How do others do it? I do have a cleaner so am v lucky there. I do shop online etc. It's the organisation plus Christmas stuff looming (on laptop trying to sort pressies today for some at least). I am working pretty much every evening (not Sat) and really feel more behind that I should be.

I was struggling anyway but made worse by my parents saying that it is not worth it and that they feel I am always busy and that they want me back. Hard to explain as academia is all consuming but also an important part of who I am . I do need more balance and I am working towards that but those comments just made me feel utterly crap! Probably made worse as I returned to academia properly (FT) only in the last to years so they have seen a big difference though.

[purplepandas]

Two years. Sorry! Supervising DDs in the bath whilst on the laptop. Pretty much sums up the current state of things.

[MedSchoolRat]

For me, strict separation of the two realms. When I work I'm fully at work & forget about home. When I'm home I forget about work (work can go sod itself).

In both realms, I do better if I keep on top of the little details (the ones that matter, anyway). I try to work in chunks to be more efficient (easier said than done) & keep "progress" documents so that if I have to leave something unfinished, I can get back to it as fast as possible when I have time. Block out time in my diary to try to do single tasks at a time. I make (sometimes several times a day) lists to revise my priorities & ignore the stuff near the bottom of the lists. Keep in mind the difference between must-do & would-like-to-do stuff. Am ruthless about saying no to stuff that isn't that important, delete emails as fast as possible, etc.

[MedSchoolRat]

ps: if you're working at home most the time... my apologies, sorry, what I've said may be no help. I can't work at home at all.

[purplepandas]

Thanks a lot medschoolrat, I really appreciate you replying. I do work from home sometimes (at least once a week) so some of that may not fit but other suggestions definitely will. I do have lists but I could prioritise better actually. I also need to be better at saying no and it's good to hear that you are ruthless. I need to attain ruthless status! Thanks for sharing.

[murmuration]

Similar to medschool, I ruthlessly divide my life. I do not check email after I leave the office. On days I work from home, I close the door and I am not there (except sometimes I do make everyone lunch). And then I finish and put away the computer and don't do "just one more thing". Today I left work realising I'd forgotten to add something to an email - but I will just send a second email first thing tomorrow, instead of logging back in and getting sucked into whatever might be sitting in my inbox.