Please advise me - I've completely messed up

(25 Posts)
LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 14:21:08

I've just finished an undergrad masters in a science subject. Three PhD offers, accepted one, really happy.

I got a 2ii. There were extenuating circumstances but not considered enough to push up my grade.

I can't do the PhD. I feel awful and have no idea what to do. I feel so guilty about letting the supervisor down, and I absolutely loved the project.

My parents are incredibly disappointed and say I should appeal but I don't see how I can if the board have already decided. My DF is angry about it, saying a 2ii is useless. It wouldn't be so bad if that was my ability level but in the early years (which don't count!) I was getting high 1sts.

My research project was good but the degree was heavily exam based and I was ill on a previous year too (I know, lucky me!) so didn't have a good cushion, but I honestly and truly thought I'd get a 2i.

I feel so sick all the time and just don't know where to go from here. One person has suggested self funding an MRes and seeing if I can convert it, but I don't know if I can afford it as it isn't just tuition but bench fees etc.

Is there any hope at all for me do you think? With a 2ii it's not like I'll have any chance at graduate schemes either. I have good references and experience and a good CV but the grade is going to spoil everything.

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LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 14:24:08

The worst thing is that I've always been considered 'clever' - I can't believe I've been so stupid and let this happen.

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CityDweller Fri 10-Jun-16 14:33:00

Have you contacted the institution you were supposed to do your PhD at to see if they'll let you in anyway? Try contacting them/ your prospective supervisor before you give up all hope.

Alternative options, if you still want to pursue the phd, are to study overseas perhaps, where institutions might not be so fixated on the 2.i requirement.

LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 14:41:46

I have, but it's no good - admission to the PhD programme is a 2:1, although the Masters is a 2:2.

The studentship was ESPRC funded so they wouldn't release the funds to someone without a 2:1 anyway.

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LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 14:45:02

Thank you for the overseas option, I will look into it. I'd better vote stay in the referendum!

To make it all more embarrassing the PhD institution is where I've done my degree...

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TheLittleFoxes Fri 10-Jun-16 14:47:06

Are your results borderline - could you ask for your papers to be re-marked?

I'm also confused how you got a II.ii for a Masters. I thought it was pass and distinction at Masters level - at least it was when I did mine back in the 90s.

Micah Fri 10-Jun-16 14:48:26

Speak to your prospective supervisor.

There might be other options- research assistant doing your own mres research part time, for example.

dorothymichaels Fri 10-Jun-16 14:48:44

I'd say you can still get to where you want to be, but it might take you longer. I don't think any overseas universities worth attending would have lower standards.
Can you investigate doing the masters or the phd (if they will still take you) part-time while self-funding? Many people take a very long time to do a Phd (just about to enter my fifth year).

LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 14:52:17

Not so borderline it would make a difference unfortunately sad I think if it had been more borderline (say 58/59) it might have been put up but sadly it was middle of the bracket.

It was an undergrad Masters (MSci rather than MSc), so this is the first time I've graduated hence the marking. I wish my last year had been marked separately to the others - I'd have a 2:1 and a pass then!

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anametouse Fri 10-Jun-16 14:58:45

I know this won't help right now but I got a 2:2 and I now have a doctorate. I promise you life isn't over, it may take a little longer to get where you planned but sometimes that's the best way, I rushed to get to my chosen career path (highly competitive and supposedly impossible to get into with a 2:2) I shouldn't have rushed, the experience was a wonderful part.

I say yes to a masters if you can but also consider trying to find a research assistant post, you'll often get discounts on the cost of a masters and the personal connections you make will make a word of difference

Good luck (and your father is wrong btw, your degree is far from useless)

wizzywig Fri 10-Jun-16 15:00:48

Umm a 2:2 ist useless!!! I think ots mean of your dad to say that. Its not exactly boosting your confidence or mood is it? Maybe right now for a PhD you dont fulfil the criteria and i can see how shitty you must feel as you know you are capable of more. However, theres always the opportunity to do another masters and wow the pants of your supervisor so much so that they fund you. Rarely is there ever a closed door. You might just have to take the scenic route

Squashybanana Fri 10-Jun-16 15:08:47

Your dad can fuck off. This isn't his life and you aren't here purely for his boasting rights.

If you can't do the PhD now, then pause, regroup, look for job opportunities, decide on your plan B. As the Americans would say, time to put on your Big Girl Pants.

And remember it's YOUR life, not your parents'!

CityDweller Fri 10-Jun-16 15:16:19

Agree with others about the scenic route. I'm an academic who got a 2.ii in their undergrad degree. I went off and did other stuff for 7 years (had no intention of going into academia at that point) before doing my postgrad degrees. No one cares (or even knows, probably) now what I got for my BA. The professional experience I got in between my degrees (tangential, but related to my discipline) is what helped me get onto my postgrad courses. Oh, and I got full funding for those postgrad degrees too smile

LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 15:46:54

I know I need to start being sensible but at the moment I'm just so upset and can't see beyond the fact that most things need a 2:1.

I have good experience and will have good references (my DoS feels very sorry for me and thinks it doesn't reflect me) but I'm worried people will see the 2:2 and just put it aside.

I know it sounds stupid but I didn't realise there was no flexibility - I mean I thought I'd get a 2:1 but even when I saw my result I didn't panic too much, obviously I was disappointed but I thought they could still choose to take me, like I know they can when accepting undergrads who've missed their offers.

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LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 15:48:04

Thank you for telling me I can still get there. I'll just have to find another way. It's hard though and I hate knowing how much I've upset my family. I haven't told my grandma yet and she'll be so so upset.

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CityDweller Fri 10-Jun-16 15:57:14

Oh, try not to beat yourself up too much about this. I know that's really hard, but you're not going to achieve anything by doing it... If you genuinely think an appeal will be fruitless (you could talk to your personal tutor/ director of studies about the possibilities there - impossible for us to say) draw a line under it as soon as you can. Sure, lick your wounds for a bit but don't wallow in it for too long or let it define too much of your future.

I bet your grandma will be less bothered about it than you think. And maybe if you present it to her/your family along the lines of 'I didn't achieve my potential this time because of the issues I had during my degree, but I'm coming up with a plan to get to where I want to get in the end'.

And eventually, this set back will be a positive thing. I too was incredibly disappointed with my 2.ii (although unlike you, I very much deserved mine) and it set me in a bit of a tail spin for a few years. But, eventually, I figured out what I wanted to do and the fact that I'd had a stumble earlier on gave me added motivation and determination. If you really want to get that PhD, you will.

Littleallovertheshop Fri 10-Jun-16 16:03:51

Always appeal, the worst they can say is no

Clutterbugsmum Fri 10-Jun-16 16:23:46

I also think you need to tell your parents that while you understand that they are upset with your result as you are yourself, their behavior is not helping you. And they need to be supportive of both your achievements and help in what you are going to do now.

LauraAshleyDuvetCover Fri 10-Jun-16 17:02:34

Being fair to my parents I think it was a nasty shock - it was for me too!

But (not boasting) I got all A*s at GCSE and A*/As at A level so it's a bit of a tumble... They knew I was unlikely to get a 1st after being unwell the other year, but we were all expecting a 2:1.

Part of the circumstances for me was as bad for them (family related, although at least they were near, not a couple of hundred miles away) so I just stiff upper lipped it and never said it was affecting me, so they wouldn't have known I suppose.

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LauraAshleyDuvetCover Sat 02-Jul-16 11:37:47

Just to update - I've been offered a fully funded MRes smile It's a great project, and it looks (fingers crossed!) like it might turn into a PhD after a year.

It's the best result I could have hoped for smilesmilesmile

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nothruroad Sat 02-Jul-16 11:53:54

That's fantastic news, well done!

funnylady Sat 02-Jul-16 21:35:17

This is fantastic news, so pleased for you. I was reading your thread and feeling so sad for you but it's all worked out - as many said it would. Well done you. Life is so strange, things happen for a reason and we don't always know why but this is the way it was meant to be for you. Wishing you a wonderful future!

zabuzabu Sun 03-Jul-16 15:48:10

That is fantastic, well done! star

HugoBear Sun 03-Jul-16 15:52:41

Brilliant news, OP. I'm really pleased that someone has some good news.

LauraAshleyDuvetCover Mon 04-Jul-16 19:34:44

Thank you all smile I still can't quite believe it! I'm so relieved/glad/amazed it happened!

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