Stop me if you've heard them!!

[Louise1980]

John invited his mother over to dinner one day but his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sandra and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sandra came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So, he sat down and wrote,

Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sandra, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sandra. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom. "

[Louise1980]

A farmer went out and bought himself two new horses.

In the pub that night he told his friends that he was concerned because he couldnt tell one from the other. A friend suggested he cut one of the horses tails short and that way he would know. So he went home and did just that.

The next night in the pub his friend asked how he had got on."It was a good idea by morning the other horse had caught his tail in the hedge and both their tails were the same length."

Another friend suggested perhaps he could measure them, he may find that one was slightly taller than the other. Off he went to measure them!

The following evening he turned up in the pub beaming - It had worked - yes he said, the white horse is 3" taller than the black one!!!!

[HappyHuggy]

pmsl