Advice on possible postnatal depression

[LaPat86]

I am new to Mumsnet and this is my first post. I am looking for some advice from anyone with experience of postnatal depression. I think I might be suffering from this. I am a first-time mum and my baby is almost 9 months old. I have been struggling with my mental health since my son was born. I have muddled through hoping I would start to feel better, and although I do feel a little better than I did in the beginning, I'm still feeling very anxious and overwhelmed, generally quite low and very lonely (I have a husband and a small but very supportive family but am still finding motherhood very lonely). I am looking for advice from anyone who has experienced or is currently experiencing similar feelings as to what I can/should do about it. I realise that different things work for different people, but I don't really know where to start. I have considered contacting my GP but I'm not sure how that would help me. Has anyone gone to their GP with this and found it helped? Any advice would be really appreciated as I really want to start feeling better and more optimistic for my son, who I love dearly. I feel I am failing him already by being so anxious and unhappy. I also feel that Covid has greatly contributed to how I am feeling (although I'm sure it has affected everyone's mental health to some extent!) I still feel very anxious about it, and have become very isolated from my friends. I really put a limit on who I see, where I go and how often. I seem to be taking longer to feel able to start living "normally" again than those around me.

[BritInAus]

Just want to say you are absolutely not alone! PN anxiety/depression is sadly very common. I had terrible post-natal anxiety. Honestly I do suggest seeing your GP. They can refer you to counselling/psychologist if appropriate and/or prescribe medication. Going on meds was the best possible thing for me. Also talking about it. I feel there's still some stigma even tho it's so common. Of 10 women in my baby group, 4 of us said we'd all been diagnosed (via GP) when we talked about it when the kids were 18 months/2 years - but none of us mentioned it at the time. Honestly, motherhood can be very lonely - and I can't imagine how hard it must be in the last year or so with lockdowns etc.

You're not alone x

[DramaAlpaca]

You really aren't alone Please do see your GP and tell them what you've told us. I was diagnosed when my baby was 6 months old. Finally seeking help was the beginning of my recovery. I took ADs and they really helped me.

[Wotrewelookinat]

Hello. I’m the same as previous posters, eventually went to GP after accepting how bad I was feeling….very anxious, stressed, crying a lot etc. I was given citalopram which helped enormously.

[MuchTooTired]

I felt the same. I eventually went to the GP (once I had a plan of how to remove myself from my DTs lives when SS got involved) to get help.

She prescribed my ads, told me in a really lovely way not to be daft - there’ll be no SS referral, I’m a good mum and my babies are happy and thriving and kept in touch every couple of weeks whilst we worked out the best dosage for me.

I was prescribed sertraline and the world quickly became colour again. I went from dreading the babies waking up and another day beginning to being positively excited about the day to come. I finally had that rush of overwhelming love for my babies (I knew I loved them, I just didn’t feel it before) and my terror that we'd not bonded melted away because I was feeling again.

There’s no shame in pnd and struggling with motherhood. I felt ashamed which is why I ignored it until they were 8 months old, but I shouldn’t have done so! Please speak to your GP, even if you don’t want meds they could refer you for counselling maybe. Keep posting on here too!

[peaceanddove]

Definitely speak to your GP. PND is far more common than most people realise. It's just a chemical imbalance caused by the hormonal upheavals after giving birth - some women are just more sensitive to it, than others.

[LaPat86]

Thank you everyone for your responses, I can't tell you how much it has helped to read your experiences. It's good to know that seeing the GP helped - I've felt very lost as to how to begin to deal with this and I think I will contact my GP after all. It really helps to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling - even just saying on here how I've been feeling has made me feel a little lighter. Thank you xx

[EcoCustard]

I had PND and PNA after dc3 was born and it floored me. After a particular low moment and my eldest who was 3 wishing me better I finally called the GP 6 months later and after sobbing on the phone to the receptionist about why I needed to see them she had him call back within minutes. He was great, had a lengthy appointment and a long talk. He prescribed me serataline and had me referred for counselling this was pre Covid. I had counselling over the phone which wasn’t great but I also had individual & group cbt sessions. These worked for me and over time got me onto a more even keel. I didn’t get on with anti depressants but I know they have helped others a lot. It’s a horrible thing but your never Alone. I look back now and wish I hadn’t waited so long to seek help. Your not failing and it’s something many suffer from, along with everything thrown at us from Covid. Call your GP and ask for some help, and keep talking. If you feel able reach out to friends and tell them exactly what you wrote in your OP.

[SlB09]

Definately not alone OP, sending hugs.

I rang my health visitor and had a good chat about how I was feeling, she was amazing and recognised pnd straight away. She had a chat with the gp for me who then rang me back a few hours later and was so lovely. It helped just putting it out there to be honest and to be made to feel it was so normal and happened to so many mums just helped take the edge off.

I take antidepressants long term anyway but had a small increase in dose and after about two weeks the anxiety started to melt and things felt more manageable. One other thing that helped emmensely was my mum and sister helping much more and my husband working more flexibly, the loneliness was crippling at times along with the spiral in worry and dread at the day ahead just knowing I wasn't dealing with it alone.

You will absolutely feel better than you do and then one day you'll find you look at your son and overwhelmingly want to squish those little chubby cheeks and fiercely love him. I got diagnosed around 4months pp, I probably felt that love progressively until about 18m+ it was so strong. Don't feel bad if you havnt had that yet, for some of us it just takes time xxx