Do you think my manager/colleagues were laughing at me?

[ohdeery]

I recently started a new job in a very tight knit team. All my colleagues are around my age (20s) and all my new colleagues are very close, more like friends. They are very welcoming to me but for context they are close and joke around together and I'm more quiet and serious (I'm trying to relax more though as I feel like my shyness is making me seem too serious for the job culture). The job is in PR and I started at the end of August, for context.

Since starting I have had lots of positive feedback, but I can't tell if it's genuinely good feedback or if it's them trying to raise my confidence. I have found, in previous jobs, that because I'm more on the quiet side managers are very overly encouraging to me and I often feel like I'm treated... delicately.

Anyway, I got added to a work Whats App for a particular project when I first started in August but have not ever needed to participate during it because I wasn't on any active projects yet, so I think maybe my colleagues don't remember that I am in that Whats App group. One of them wrote they were just finishing up checking over one of my pieces of work and one of my colleagues (more senior than me) replied "oh don't bother, we all know it will be perfect" and then immediately several of my colleagues replied with LOL, haha, etc.

Do you think there was some meanness to that comment and their responses?

[JustHowILikeIt]

Is your work usually perfect? Maybe they think it is and are envious?

[NeverDropYourMooncup]

Nah, it's something they're saying because a) it's true and b) because it's nice to say.

[ohdeery]

@JustHowILikeIt

Is your work usually perfect? Maybe they think it is and are envious?

I am quite perfectionistic so do put a lot of effort in, but the work does need to be of a high standard anyway (it's for clients), so it makes things easier for the team anyway as it means there's less revisions to go through to get to the final copy.

They are all talented and perfectionistic as well, definitely better than I am due to them being much more experienced. This is my first job in this field so whilst I have some transferable skills there is a LOT I don't know (so many acronyms and lingo it often feels like they're speaking another language sometimes).

[InnPain]

How sure are you that your colleagues have not realised you’re part of the WhatsApp group? It seems they are aware and are actually complimenting you perhaps? Surely they all can’t have forgotten you’re in the chat? I hope this is the case anyway.

[JustHowILikeIt]

It sounds like they have discussed that your work is good for your level of experience.

[RosiePosieDozy]

No, I don't think that's mean. You obviously have a reputation for producing perfect work. I would be proud of that if I was you. Maybe they're a little jealous but I don't think there's anything mean in the 'haha', 'lol, responses.

[Flufferty]

I can understand why you think it may have been meant in a mean way, but I really think that they just meant that you're very good at your job

I'd probably reply to be honest

[EekGoesTheBaby]

Not to stir up trouble, but to me it does seem like some unkindness there--either that you do great work and think you're Little Miss Perfect, OR that your work is far from perfect (understandable if you are new). I could be wrong though.

[nomoneytreehere]

They are being nice op. Send back a preening emoji.

[Woodswoman]

@nomoneytreehere

They are being nice op. Send back a preening emoji.

What is a preening emoji? I really want to find this!

[SnipSnipMrBurgess]

By itself, no. With the lol, yes, there is some running joke there.

If I were you, I'd reply something. I would be too chicken though.

Take it as a good sign that the worst they can say about you is that you do your work well.

[Moltenpink]

I’d take it as a joke & laugh along

[Smashingspinster]

Dont think it is mean at all - and would definitely reply on the thread to show you have a sense of humour too. Something like 'if anyone needs me I will be polishing my halo' or something. People love it if you can join the joke.

[ohdeery]

It was the immediately LOLs and laughing emojis that had me thinking it was mean. I was in a call so couldn't reply before the conversation had moved on anyway. I also haven't met most of them face-to-face (including the one who made the comment, I think I have only ever spoken to her once for literally 5 minutes) so I'm finding it hard to read the intention behind the messages.

I do know I have been doing well as my work has not needed much amending before it goes out to clients and have been told they expected to have to give a lot more comments than they did.

It has made me feel a bit insecure, to be honest.

[Cherryana]

I do think there is a little bit ‘little miss perfect’ tone to the comment. And the laughing emojis are in agreement.
BUT
I think if you choose to see it as mean you would be ruminating and getting upset for really no reason. More helpful to see what it really exposes and that you are well liked and do a great job.

Please don’t let this nothingy thing send you into your shell or back off from continuing to shine through your work.

[Ilkleymoor]

I manage a team that is quite young and one member is an absolute powerhouse for sorting things out and being a perfectionist. We do tease her about this but also champion her. It's not automatically mean and definitely do not react defensively even if it is as unfortunately the pressure will be on you to be a professional. Preening emoji is a good idea if you have that rapport now.

[CockSpadget]

The addition of the lols and laughing emojis do seem like there is some kind of cattiness going on. What other reason would there be to laugh at someone's work being described as perfect?
A response to a genuine comment of that nature would be completely different.

[SuperStarRose]

I agree the fact that everyone replied with lol is a bit weird. As is the comment itself tbh.

I'd also be wondering what they meant by it. I'd be happy enough though that no one said anything nasty or made any kind of other comment about me. So I wouldn't reply or mention it. And I wouldn't think about it any more.

[HotChoc10]

Reply with the angel emoji

[accentdusoleil]

Sounds like they're jealous / threatened

Be proud of your work

[JustHowILikeIt]

@accentdusoleil

Sounds like they're jealous / threatened

Be proud of your work

I think you're right and they are threatened rather than envious as I said upthread. They must be a bit insecure.

[ohdeery]

There's nothing for them to be jealous or threatened about though. I'm a new graduate in an entry-level role and they are senior to me by like two pay grades.

[ohdeery]

I've only been there 4 weeks and the first 2 weeks was just training, so only 2 weeks of actual work for them to judge me by.

I've only met them all in person once, the rest of the time it's just short Zoom calls.

I feel like I've messed up somewhere with how they are perceiving me, maybe I need to try and be more laid back and chatty rather than uptight...

[ineedsun]

Really? In our work group we would laugh because we knew someone well and their behaviour was predicable.
Tina did a brilliant thing in her teaching on bumblebees today - lots of LOLs etc because we all know Tina is a brilliant teacher who likes bees. Sheena swore at the boss today by accident - lots of LOLs because Sheena is scatty and swears a lot. Meena made a spreadsheet today dor all the birthdays - lots of LOLs because Meena loves a spreadsheet.

Why assume it’s bad?

[Ilkleymoor]

Lol and emojis aren't automatically bad - my young team use emojis all the time where I might write well done - I've had to adjust and start sending high fives and starry eyed emojis.

If you are feeling a bit wrong footed with how to fit in, can you offer to organise something social to get to know each other a bit?

Sounds like your work is good, try not to assume they don't like you because you are different personality types.