Why are doctors so bothered about other people's contraception choices?

[allergyupset]

This is a request for medical professionals to stop raising their eyebrows and looking at their patients as if they're weird.

First of all I've had a very shit, stressful day full of medical upset that's been going on for years, so please take this rant within the wider context of me having a generally shit day.

Why are doctors and sexual health workers so bothered? Are they on commission or something?

I've been with my DH for over ten years. We still use condoms. It works for us. We buy them with our own money and don't get them free from the NHS. I am well aware of other options such as contraceptive pills, injections, coils etc. I am also not interested. We will choose the method that suits us best and it's frankly not your business to start asking me questions like "Are you happy with that?" Yes I'm fucking happy with that. If I wasn't, I would've asked for something else long ago. Just give it a rest and stop questioning people's choices.

[Gilead]

There are valid reasons for asking, some women are not given choices by their partners.

[ThedaBara]

Only circumstance I can think of is in the context of a c section. Quite dangerous to get pregnant within a year of having one, so they are quite nosy to make sure you have a fool proof method (I was pressured to have the coil fitted 'while they're down there'). Other than that it's wierd that they have an opinion

[Chihuahuacat]

Completely agree Doctors don’t like condoms as a method.

I had similar questions when I went for my smear and felt a bit pressured to look at other options, which I don’t want. I highly doubt men get the same level of questioning

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

I'm not sure what method they do like. I'm on the pill but always got spoken to about implant, why?

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

Not specific to you but maybe they know that due to their patients other medical issues that a/nother pregnancy would not be in their best interests?? Perhaps they could offer a more appropriate alternative? Not everyone is aware of all the contraceptive options. And given the amount of children been born into pretty dire and unstable circumstances I hope GPs continue to ask

[WishingYouAMerryChristmasToo]

They do get commission as such - yes.

[miltonj]

I agree. My 6 weeks check up after giving birth was like this. I had so much I actually wanted to talk about and all she was interested in was my contraception, which I wasn't remotely interested in talking about. I'm a grown up women, snd will take care of my sexual health and reproduction how I see fit.

[HungryHippo11]

Why did it come up? Presumably you were talking to them about an issue with sexual health so its a totally reasonable question. If you went there for a broken toe then I can see why you are annoyed!

[WillaWeatherspoon]

They questioned my contraception too when I asked for the mini pill. The nurse said being busy with two children she doubted I'd remember to take it every day and I should get the injection every 12 weeks instead .

I pointed out I somehow remember to brush my teeth every single morning without fail, and since I keep my pill packet next to my toothbrush I don't think there's any chance I'm going going forget.

[Babymamma192]

Agree! Felt very judged at my last appointment when asked what contraception I was on and I said we were using condoms.....works for us!

I've tried the pill and they don't agree with me I have horrible side effects and not sure that we're finished having children yet so don't want to do anything more permanent like vasectomy. Also I don't want something inside my body like the coil etc.

[Thecurtainsofdestiny]

They are just offering other options. In same situation as you I used to just say, no thanks, happy as we are. No drama.

[WishingYouAMerryChristmasToo]

Or at least they did - gp used to get major cash incentives to stick a woman on the mireana - loads of pressuring and trying to persuade women it was a good idea and then loads of refusing to take them out if it hurt or didn’t suit - a gp surgery was well known for it where I used to live - literally woman went in with an infection on the leg and came out with an appointment for a coil fitting. One women went to posting on Facebook as despite constant bleeding after said fitting she was refused an appointment to take it out claiming the surgery was too busy (constant bleeding) three women phoned up and got appointment to have a fitting the next day - and posted - she got her appointment to have it removed.

Why why why can’t men have more options?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

They don't care what contraception you are using. They get paid if they tick boxes for discussing contraception, smoking, smear test and weight (where relevant).

[ZealAndArdour]

Because unplanned pregnancies, STD’s and associated GU complaints cost the NHS money and have an impact on health outcomes at a population level. It’s public health.

[Elieza]

Condone are only 97 or 98% effective or something. Other things are more effective.
Perhaps they are just trying to offer you the best advice on not getting pregnant?

Although they used to get £30 for a smear test referral so goodness knows what they get for a coil!

[Elieza]

Condoms. Stupid autocorrect.

[Viviennemary]

Because statistically speaking condoms are not the most reliable form of contraception. And its the medical profession that needs to deal with unwanted pregnancies. I should imagine that's why.

[heidbuttsupper]

Totally agree! I am on the injection and for years they've been trying to push the coil on me. Why?! I'm happy on the injection

[PinkDaffodil2]

GPs don’t get paid for discussing long term contraception (I think there used to be an incentive for letting women know about options but that’s long gone). I’m glad that you know about all the options and have all the information to make an informed choice that you and your partner are happy with. A surprising number of women aren’t in such a position so I expect doctors will continue to ask if you’re happy with your method, unless you head them off as soon as you mention it which will save you both some time. Presumably it’s a bit relevant if you’re seeing a sexual health doctor?

[Theunamedcat]

I got asked I joked I used my personality they persisted I pointed out they were going to feel the force of my personality if they didn't drop it I was calling about my mental health not my sex life (which I don't have)

[fedup078]

Yes I have wondered why I always have to repeat the ' I will not get the coil because my Aunty made me promise her I never would due to fact it nearly killed her' every time I go in for anything. I'm due a smear so I know it will come up yet again but now I'm separated from my H and have no intentions of having sex with anyone any time soon or maybe ever but I don't see why I need to try and convince a total stranger this when I'm a grown woman who can make these decisions for myself in the first place

[Mariell]

In my forties I had painful, heavy periods and despite my not needing contraception I had a consultant who gave me the hard sell on having a Mirena coil!

I had no intention of EVER having a coil fitted and told him so much to his annoyance.

It seemed odd that such an obvious looking wealthy man would have a cheap plastic pen but when I looked closer I could see the words Mirena and also his notebook was Mirena headed and lo and behold a calendar with Mirena on it displayed on his wall.

He was furious that I refused to have it which was also extremely odd behaviour and when I mentioned it to two nurses they were embarrassed and would not answer.

[SidSparrow]

They are on commission and they seem to think that we're all idiots and can't look after our own sexual health. I asked to have my IUD removed and was told that without it I may fall pregnant... I know how babies are made, I have made 2 of them.

[Porfre]

But if you're seeing a sexual health worker one of their areas of expertise is contraception. It's a part of sexual health itself. They have to ask you

[PiglingBlonde]

They all do it. I went to the dr to discuss mental health issues. She said it wasn't surprising I was depressed because I have children and work full time so wasn't going to prescribe anything. But while I was there, did I want an IUD....