Incompetence warfare?

[fridacakehole]

I saw a brilliant phrase used to describe the scenario where one person ends up doing the lions share of - for example - housework due to the other one saying they are incapable or not as good at it.

We have an example in the workplace and I'm trying to remember the correct phrase.

Can anyone help?

[Xiaoxiong]

Strategic incompetence?

[fridacakehole]

Thank you!

[LitCrit]

There’s another similar one which is learned .. argh what is it? Works well for men not doing house/family stuff.

[ArtemisiaVulgaris]

My great grandmother had a saying " act daft and you get a good run for your money", which I guess means strategic incompetence.

[Xiaoxiong]

@LitCrit you might be thinking of learned helplessness but I think that's a bit more involuntary than strategic incompetence - more like, you've been through many situations where you are stressed out by something you think you can't control or improve, so you learn not to even try to avoid or improve your situation. I've heard it used in relation to kids growing up with adverse childhood experiences, for example, who then feel powerless.

[LitCrit]

Oh that's interesting @Xiaoxiong, I hadn't heard it used that way but it makes sense.