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I really don't need a male, 24-year-old sports coach mansplaining exercise and weight loss to perimenopausal women, thank you very much

149 replies

Annoyance · 03/08/2021 12:19

That is all.

He's not anyone I work with, just someone I got into a conversation with and he started giving me unsolicited "advice". Hmm

Just fuck off.

OP posts:
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Bluntness100 · 03/08/2021 12:20

Okdoke. Do you have a question?

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Ozanj · 03/08/2021 12:21

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

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RunningFromInsanity · 03/08/2021 12:22

Is it mansplaining, if he is actually an expert in the field?

It’s just unwanted advice. Which is annoying but I assume he had good intentions

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Annoyance · 03/08/2021 12:26

@Ozanj

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

No, that wasn't the advice.
OP posts:
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Annoyance · 03/08/2021 12:27

@RunningFromInsanity

Is it mansplaining, if he is actually an expert in the field?

It’s just unwanted advice. Which is annoying but I assume he had good intentions

He's not an expert. He's a wannabe.
OP posts:
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caughtinanet · 03/08/2021 12:30

A little more info is needed.

What was the conversation about? If it was the weather or Coronation Street he's unreasonable. If for some reason you had started a conversation about the perimenopause then maybe understandable.

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Sparklingbrook · 03/08/2021 12:30

@Bluntness100

Okdoke. Do you have a question?

This.
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ShowMeTheSugar · 03/08/2021 12:32

Is he a sports coach or not? I don't think its mansplaining unless a) its not his area of expertise or b) you are a fitness/weightloss expert/professional?

What was the advice he felt so necessary to impart and how did it even come up in conversation?

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MrsDThomas · 03/08/2021 12:32

So what did he tell you?

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Bryonyshcmyony · 03/08/2021 12:34

Dd is doing a sports degree and doing some research into exercise and nutrition in menopausal women.

She knows more than me about it (she's 22 I'm 54)

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Sparklfairy · 03/08/2021 12:35

Why is everyone being mean? I love mansplaining threads Grin

I once had a very overweight man who 'used to exercise' (his words) mansplain how to squat with proper form including a demonstration.

I didn't even want to squat. He just randomly brought it up Grin

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Skybluepinkgiraffe · 03/08/2021 12:38

I would feel exactly the same @Annoyance
If he'd known anything about perimenopause, he should not have been surprised if you had told him to fuck off!

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ShowMeTheSugar · 03/08/2021 12:43

Sparklfairy so far and without more context this doesn't sound like mansplaining...unsolicited advice maybe!

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ShowMeTheSugar · 03/08/2021 12:44

But more importantly...how was his squat form? Grin

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Sparklingbrook · 03/08/2021 12:46

@Bryonyshcmyony

Dd is doing a sports degree and doing some research into exercise and nutrition in menopausal women.

She knows more than me about it (she's 22 I'm 54)

This is what i was thinking. Wouldn't a sports coach need to know this stuff, just in case (the horror!) they had to coach a menopausal woman.Shock I would think that was brilliant, the perimenopause is often ignored and it's a thing that it's harder to lose weight at that time.
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Sparklfairy · 03/08/2021 12:48

Terrible Grin it was years ago, and we were dating but I honestly can't remember what we were talking about. I just remember sitting on my sofa thinking whyyyy is he squatting badly in my living room with such a smug knowing expression on his face and in depth explanation?!

He also used to mansplain about nutrition and healthy eating. I was mid range healthy bmi and he was baffled as to why he was piling weight on. But apparently knew everything about healthy eating.

It's hard to describe here I think, but its the "oh I know more than you" tone and condescending facial expression like they're educating a thicko that makes it mansplaining!

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alloalloallo · 03/08/2021 12:50

How did the conversation come up?

I remember when I started cycling to work, I’d be minding my own business when the office MAMILs felt the need to come and tell me how I was doing it all wrong, my bike was wrong, my clothes were wrong, my cheese and pickle sandwich at lunch was wrong, I needed to join a spin class, etc, etc. I’d never improve my times if I didn’t do X Y Z

Used to drive me nuts.

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regthetabbycat · 03/08/2021 12:51

@Ozanj

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

And you're as patronising as any mansplainer.
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Bryonyshcmyony · 03/08/2021 12:52

Hopefully the advice was to do more weights than cardio and really start to cut down on sugar, alcohol and carbs.

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littletinyboxes · 03/08/2021 12:53

I get it OP. I was once at a children's party with DD and one of the dad's (not someone I had ever spoken to before) decided to give me a running commentary on the nutritional benefit (or lack thereof) of all the party food. I thought it was quite rude and just mumbled something about it not really mattering for a special treat etc. He was not put off and told me that he had discovered a new cutting edge science based food and fitness regime that I really should try. The gist of this seemed to be eating no red meat, limited dairy and large amounts of fruit and veg plus walking instead of driving where possible. I can only assume that he thought that as a slightly larger woman I was in need of his wisdom. He gave me some 'helpful' tips on how to cook with pluses and vegetables. If he had bothered to ask he would have discovered that I did not own a car so walked most places and had been vegetarian all my adult life.

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Wtfdoipick · 03/08/2021 12:53

Let me guess he decided you needed to lose weight and advised you the best way of doing it without you mentioning anything about the subject. People who do that are arseholes.

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Whinginadeville · 03/08/2021 12:56

Menopausal women DO NOT need to cut down on carbs we are irrational, irratated and tired already thankyou very much

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Bryonyshcmyony · 03/08/2021 12:58

@Whinginadeville

Menopausal women DO NOT need to cut down on carbs we are irrational, irratated and tired already thankyou very much

Keep good carbs and ditch white processed carbs. And sugar. Will improve your mood!
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Bagelsandbrie · 03/08/2021 13:00

Just because he’s young and a man doesn’t mean he can’t be knowledgeable about women’s issues. Would you feel the same about a male midwife or a male gynaecologist?

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hamstersarse · 03/08/2021 13:00

I’d guess you don’t want any advice, even spectacular advice, about health and fitness 🤷‍♀️

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