I really don't need a male, 24-year-old sports coach mansplaining exercise and weight loss to perimenopausal women, thank you very much

(150 Posts)
Annoyance Tue 03-Aug-21 12:19:03

That is all.

He's not anyone I work with, just someone I got into a conversation with and he started giving me unsolicited "advice". hmm

Just fuck off.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Tue 03-Aug-21 12:20:53

Okdoke. Do you have a question?

Ozanj Tue 03-Aug-21 12:21:39

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

RunningFromInsanity Tue 03-Aug-21 12:22:46

Is it mansplaining, if he is actually an expert in the field?

It’s just unwanted advice. Which is annoying but I assume he had good intentions

Annoyance Tue 03-Aug-21 12:26:13

Ozanj

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

No, that wasn't the advice.

OP’s posts: |
Annoyance Tue 03-Aug-21 12:27:15

RunningFromInsanity

Is it mansplaining, if he is actually an expert in the field?

It’s just unwanted advice. Which is annoying but I assume he had good intentions

He's not an expert. He's a wannabe.

OP’s posts: |
caughtinanet Tue 03-Aug-21 12:30:01

A little more info is needed.

What was the conversation about? If it was the weather or Coronation Street he's unreasonable. If for some reason you had started a conversation about the perimenopause then maybe understandable.

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Sparklingbrook Tue 03-Aug-21 12:30:14

Bluntness100

Okdoke. Do you have a question?

This.

ShowMeTheSugar Tue 03-Aug-21 12:32:34

Is he a sports coach or not? I don't think its mansplaining unless a) its not his area of expertise or b) you are a fitness/weightloss expert/professional?

What was the advice he felt so necessary to impart and how did it even come up in conversation?

MrsDThomas Tue 03-Aug-21 12:32:53

So what did he tell you?

Bryonyshcmyony Tue 03-Aug-21 12:34:15

Dd is doing a sports degree and doing some research into exercise and nutrition in menopausal women.

She knows more than me about it (she's 22 I'm 54)

Sparklfairy Tue 03-Aug-21 12:35:21

Why is everyone being mean? I love mansplaining threads grin

I once had a very overweight man who 'used to exercise' (his words) mansplain how to squat with proper form including a demonstration.

I didn't even want to squat. He just randomly brought it up grin

Skybluepinkgiraffe Tue 03-Aug-21 12:38:23

I would feel exactly the same @Annoyance
If he'd known anything about perimenopause, he should not have been surprised if you had told him to fuck off!

ShowMeTheSugar Tue 03-Aug-21 12:43:35

Sparklfairy so far and without more context this doesn't sound like mansplaining...unsolicited advice maybe!

ShowMeTheSugar Tue 03-Aug-21 12:44:24

But more importantly...how was his squat form? grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 03-Aug-21 12:46:42

Bryonyshcmyony

Dd is doing a sports degree and doing some research into exercise and nutrition in menopausal women.

She knows more than me about it (she's 22 I'm 54)

This is what i was thinking. Wouldn't a sports coach need to know this stuff, just in case (the horror!) they had to coach a menopausal woman.shock I would think that was brilliant, the perimenopause is often ignored and it's a thing that it's harder to lose weight at that time.

Sparklfairy Tue 03-Aug-21 12:48:53

Terrible grin it was years ago, and we were dating but I honestly can't remember what we were talking about. I just remember sitting on my sofa thinking whyyyy is he squatting badly in my living room with such a smug knowing expression on his face and in depth explanation?!

He also used to mansplain about nutrition and healthy eating. I was mid range healthy bmi and he was baffled as to why he was piling weight on. But apparently knew everything about healthy eating.

It's hard to describe here I think, but its the "oh I know more than you" tone and condescending facial expression like they're educating a thicko that makes it mansplaining!

alloalloallo Tue 03-Aug-21 12:50:21

How did the conversation come up?

I remember when I started cycling to work, I’d be minding my own business when the office MAMILs felt the need to come and tell me how I was doing it all wrong, my bike was wrong, my clothes were wrong, my cheese and pickle sandwich at lunch was wrong, I needed to join a spin class, etc, etc. I’d never improve my times if I didn’t do X Y Z

Used to drive me nuts.

regthetabbycat Tue 03-Aug-21 12:51:34

Ozanj

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

And you're as patronising as any mansplainer.

Bryonyshcmyony Tue 03-Aug-21 12:52:25

Hopefully the advice was to do more weights than cardio and really start to cut down on sugar, alcohol and carbs.

littletinyboxes Tue 03-Aug-21 12:53:26

I get it OP. I was once at a children's party with DD and one of the dad's (not someone I had ever spoken to before) decided to give me a running commentary on the nutritional benefit (or lack thereof) of all the party food. I thought it was quite rude and just mumbled something about it not really mattering for a special treat etc. He was not put off and told me that he had discovered a new cutting edge science based food and fitness regime that I really should try. The gist of this seemed to be eating no red meat, limited dairy and large amounts of fruit and veg plus walking instead of driving where possible. I can only assume that he thought that as a slightly larger woman I was in need of his wisdom. He gave me some 'helpful' tips on how to cook with pluses and vegetables. If he had bothered to ask he would have discovered that I did not own a car so walked most places and had been vegetarian all my adult life.

Wtfdoipick Tue 03-Aug-21 12:53:53

Let me guess he decided you needed to lose weight and advised you the best way of doing it without you mentioning anything about the subject. People who do that are arseholes.

Whinginadeville Tue 03-Aug-21 12:56:34

Menopausal women DO NOT need to cut down on carbs we are irrational, irratated and tired already thankyou very much

Bryonyshcmyony Tue 03-Aug-21 12:58:09

Whinginadeville

Menopausal women DO NOT need to cut down on carbs we are irrational, irratated and tired already thankyou very much

Keep good carbs and ditch white processed carbs. And sugar. Will improve your mood!

Bagelsandbrie Tue 03-Aug-21 13:00:10

Just because he’s young and a man doesn’t mean he can’t be knowledgeable about women’s issues. Would you feel the same about a male midwife or a male gynaecologist?

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