I thought this would be a lovely night out, but I ended up being 'picked on'🤔

(154 Posts)
Wisteriabloom Sat 31-Jul-21 22:05:04

I was looking forward to last night - a evening at an open-air theatre with two others (the 3 of us go out quite regularly), and one of them brought her friend along.

I already know this 'friend of friend', and was happy she'd been invited along. She's the sister of someone I went to school with, and my kids know her as 'lovely Mrs Osborne', she was a classroom helper at their primary school years ago! She lives near us and we regularly bump into each other and chat, I've never been out with her but always liked her🙂

My friend asked us all what we wanted to drink while queuing, and went to get them. At the interval I offered to get the next round (I know what the other two have anyway) and asked 'friend's friend' what she was drinking. (She was sat in the seat but one to me, so I hadn't seen what she was drinking). She burst out laughing and nudged her friend, saying 'Oh is she always this forgetful, does she have memory problems?!) with peals of laughter🤔 I replied I hadn't seen what she had the first time, and would rather not get the wrong thing, would she like a glass of Prosecco like us? She collapsed with laughter saying 'Oh for GOD'S SAKE no, you've got SUCH a bad memory!' Feeling miffed, I got our drinks and got her a cider, the other drink available, and said 'I hope that's right', she laughed and said thank you.

On the way home my friend commented on my hair colour, I've recently coloured it lighter, she said I always have a 'sun-kissed glow about me', even in the winter! I do tan easily all year round! Her friend nudged her and whispered 'Maybe she's 'glowing' because her husband's home more, mind you I'd be surprised, I see what he looks like at 7 am when he walks down my road!' She collapsed in giggles again and my friend laughed too, then they hurriedly changed the subject when they realised I could hear🤔

Btw, the '7 am reference' is she lives by the train station, dh commutes to London twice a week, (he used to every day, but like many places, his work has changed to working from home the majority of the week). He's pretty jovial most of the time, but he probably doesn't look his best at 7 am, he admits he doesn't wake up properly until he's on the train with a coffee! I'm sure he doesn't realise he's being watched though!!

She spoilt the evening for me tbh, (although the show was brilliant). I've debated today whether to text my friend and ask what the other woman's problem is with me, she clearly wanted to intimidate me and she's the last person I'd expect to do that, I've never seen this side of her!😲

It's weird behaviour, isn't it?

OP’s posts: |
HoneysuckIejasmine Sat 31-Jul-21 22:10:25

Yeah it's weird. And upsetting that your other friend went along with it.

Sparklfairy Sat 31-Jul-21 22:11:23

That's horrible. Do you think it was the drink that made her worse?

Mzy123 Sat 31-Jul-21 22:15:54

Yes, weird behaviour. I would definitely be texting/asking your friend tomorrow. I would be pretty pissed off myself at her bizarre behaviour and your friend going along with it!

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese Sat 31-Jul-21 22:16:17

It sounds like an awkward personality mixed with a couple of drinks. I would have a chat with your friend to clear the air.

AntenatalNellie Sat 31-Jul-21 22:19:25

Very unpleasant and uncalled for. Especially for your friend to join in. Yes I’d text her and ask what that was all about and make it known it was a horrible experience.

Panickingpavlova Sat 31-Jul-21 22:21:23

How absurd, she sounds so childish like she really has an issue with you?
I don't like to always put it down to jealous but is she??
She sounds very immature and rude and I think you should kindly ask your friend what was going on is she always like that.

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aiwblam Sat 31-Jul-21 22:21:53

Weird behaviour. I’d ignore it and don’t go out with her again.

DufferMum Sat 31-Jul-21 22:23:33

Rude! Pure and simple!

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig Sat 31-Jul-21 22:24:32

Fuck she’s rude. You need to tell your friend that she was actually rather unpleasant and offensive and you’d like an apology. Thick cow.

goddessofmischief Sat 31-Jul-21 22:25:47

Don't go out with her again. If you have to, choose a head on reply like "so what's your point?" with a hard stare.
Sod people getting a kick out of putting others on the back foot. Avoid or shut it down. You're no one's stupid joke.

MichelleScarn Sat 31-Jul-21 22:30:22

She's a horrible, arse. Probably the type who will try and divide and conquer, by making you the one who's being picked on so she feels weirdly better about her!

FortunesFave Sat 31-Jul-21 22:35:09

You need to learn to stand up for yourself. It's awful when people do this...usually it's jealousy....but I think it's worse when you don't stand up for yourself and then think about it all later.

Don't let people talk badly to you. At the first mean comment you should have said something like "What are you blathering on about my memory for? You don't even know me!" and done your own peals of laughter...then "Who let this one out?" etc/

People like that can't take their own medicine.

JacquelineCarlyle Sat 31-Jul-21 22:37:05

That's horrible Op - I'd call your friend out on it though and ask her why her friend behaved that way and why she let her.

Summerfun54321 Sat 31-Jul-21 22:37:28

I absolutely hate humour that involves being cruel to others. There’s no need for it, it’s rude, childish and pathetic. Not sure you can do much apart from avoid her from now on.

Nuggetnugget Sat 31-Jul-21 22:41:57

This is catty bitchy behaviour and it isn't on. I am useless at sorting these types of things out (tend to get teased a bit and the I revert to blocking lots of people off)

I would wait and see your friend in a while and tell her it's was quite spiteful but then they will say you are oversensitive (possibly). I've been there.

Sunfla Sat 31-Jul-21 22:46:18

She was being bitchy. And rude.
I agree with the previous poster about being bitchy in return after her first comment. I wonder why neither of your friends chimed in. I'm not surprised you didn't enjoy the evening at all, you poor thing.

Newbabynewhouse Sat 31-Jul-21 22:47:58

Almost sounds jealous of you.. like she has some self esteem issues and that's her way of making herself feel better... how odd

BrilliantBetty Sat 31-Jul-21 22:48:34

I'd mention to your friend that some of the things said last night made you feel uncomfortable and teased. And that you've no hard feelings towards the woman but wouldn't want to be put in that social situation again. And suggest a date for the original group to meet up for the next time. Perhaps have it at yours so you can say who is invited and it means she isn't included in to the group from here on out, nips it in the bud.

HollowTalk Sat 31-Jul-21 22:51:54

Why say she has no hard feelings towards her, though? She'd be absolutely right to think really badly of her.

accentdusoleil Sat 31-Jul-21 22:54:10

I'd be asking the mutual friend who invited her and went along with her silly jokes why she was such a sell out

Topofthepopicles Sat 31-Jul-21 22:54:41

Some people when they themselves are nervous try to create “I’m in the in crowd and you’re not” senario. They usually choose the nicest person as they are less likely to tell them to get stuffed.
I don’t really have any advice other than to avoid her in future and try not to take it personally.

Phoenix76 Sat 31-Jul-21 22:54:42

FortunesFave

You need to learn to stand up for yourself. It's awful when people do this...usually it's jealousy....but I think it's worse when you don't stand up for yourself and then think about it all later.

Don't let people talk badly to you. At the first mean comment you should have said something like "What are you blathering on about my memory for? You don't even know me!" and done your own peals of laughter...then "Who let this one out?" etc/

People like that can't take their own medicine.

This exactly, I learnt this with age though. I found I’d spend so much time dissecting the time I spent with that person and anguishing about it, thinking it must be my fault etc etc too fearful to invite any confrontation until over time I realised the worrying after was far worse than actually doing what @FortunesFave suggests here, now I very much call this shit out without breaking into even a tiny sweat

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit Sat 31-Jul-21 22:55:38

I think I’d say to my mate: please don’t invite xxx out with us again, I find her quite rude - especially to me - and would rather not spend the small amount of free time I have with her!

toocold54 Sat 31-Jul-21 22:57:19

It’s very weird.
The only thing I can think of is that she was very nervous and coming out with the wrong thing hence the laughter or that you were being over sensitive due to the fact your friends didn’t pick up on it.

I’d maybe text your friend and just ask her if she thought she was rude or not. Some people do have a strange sense of humour and ‘banter’ but this is inappropriate for people they don’t know.

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