How’s this for entitled..?

(267 Posts)
TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 27-Jul-21 08:54:06

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.


I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

OP’s posts: |
Jumpingintosummer Tue 27-Jul-21 08:55:54

No your friend and her mother are rude!

TwinsandTrifle Tue 27-Jul-21 08:55:58

When you say colleague, are you her boss, and was the injury at work?

That's the only way this remotely makes sense.

ApolloandDaphne Tue 27-Jul-21 08:57:45

Why do you need to fork out for a taxi to get her home? Surely your colleague needed to contact her own family and friends for a lift home or pay this herself?

Hercisback Tue 27-Jul-21 08:58:54

Unless you're her boss then she can jog on.

Bluntness100 Tue 27-Jul-21 08:59:45

This is very odd, is there details missing? Why would you both do that and offer to pay for her taxi. Was she injured at work?

Jumpingintosummer Tue 27-Jul-21 08:59:55

Even if you are her boss you offered to pay for transportation


Milomonster Tue 27-Jul-21 09:00:51

Why would you paying for her taxi? Why were taking on that level of responsibility? They sound incredibly rude.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 27-Jul-21 09:01:06

Nah, not her boss. Not a work injury

I was just trying to be helpful.

OP’s posts: |
CherieBabySpliffUp Tue 27-Jul-21 09:01:17

I think you went above and beyond sitting with her for the 8 hours. Depending on the injury did she really need someone sitting with her? If so I can't imagine what reason the mother had for not sitting with her instead.

Howshouldibehave Tue 27-Jul-21 09:01:22

Are you her boss? How did the injury happen?

I would have just dropped her at A+E, presuming you weren’t responsible for the injury, and ensured she’d rung her family to let them know where she was.

Jumpingintosummer Tue 27-Jul-21 09:01:53

Bugger them both!

FittedSheet Tue 27-Jul-21 09:01:59

To be honest, I’m not sure why any of this is your responsibility, anyway? Did the injury take place at your house? If she was triaged and still wasn’t seen for more than eight hours, I’d assume her injury wasn’t very serious and would probably have left her, and had her call someone else — a family member? — if she needed someone to sit with her. And surely how she got home after her discharge was her own issue, not yours?

I’ve only had to go to A and E for myself twice, and the second time I had to take a taxi alone at night in horrible pain and taxi solo home again at 4 am because circumstances meant no one could come with me (DH had to look after our newborn at home, and we had no car or friends/family in the vicinity.)

HollowTalk Tue 27-Jul-21 09:03:03

Are you a people pleaser? You do realise that it's not normal to pay the taxi fare in this situation, don't you?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 27-Jul-21 09:05:49

Yeah, I’m a people pleaser.

Stood up for myself today, though, so now feel shaky and weird.

Hence asking Mumsnet who was the batshit crazy one... For a while I really thought it was me.

OP’s posts: |
mnahmnah Tue 27-Jul-21 09:05:58

It was incredibly kind and decent of you to have stayed with her for 8 hours. Many wouldn’t have done that. You really didn’t need to do anymore. She should have organised for her mum to pick her up or her own taco and paid for it herself. Really not your responsibility!

mnahmnah Tue 27-Jul-21 09:06:32

Taxi, not taco! Although a taco may have helped

Howshouldibehave Tue 27-Jul-21 09:07:29

I tell her to jog on.

What did you actually say?

FatAnkles Tue 27-Jul-21 09:08:18

You are not responsible for your colleague's transport home from hospital.

I was in A&E recently and asked a relative to take me home. I was injured at work but it's not my employer's job to have seen me home from hospital.

Kanaloa Tue 27-Jul-21 09:08:57

Is she incapable in some way? I would think at 20 she can organise herself back and forward from hospital without her colleague and her mum doing it. Kind of you to take her last night but she wasn’t exactly stranded, she can organise herself a taxi or something. Obviously if she is disabled or something it’s a different situation.

BarbaraofSeville Tue 27-Jul-21 09:11:40

Why can't her mum pick her up or pay for a taxi? Or the colleague herself, seeing as she's working? I presume she still lives at home, given the DMs involvement, so she should have money.

Does the nature of the injury/location mean that she can't use public transport now it's daytime?

Jumping straight to you arranging for and paying £50(!) for a taxi seems a bit of a stretch unless this woman has no family to help or is vulnerable in some way.

What is reasonable is that you take her to the hospital, phone one of her relatives and they come and take over so you can go home. Anything else really is above and beyond.

Panickingpavlova Tue 27-Jul-21 09:14:44

Why isn't her own family helping her!!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 27-Jul-21 09:19:33


*I tell her to jog on.*

What did you actually say?

I wrote that I was offering to pay for a taxi, and to get the full story before attacking someone.

The message about my DP not being able to collect her and the offer to pay for a taxi was literally the same sentence.

No room for error. None. It was seen.

OP’s posts: |
Shelovesamystery Tue 27-Jul-21 09:22:09

You've been very kind already. I'd happily take anyone that needed it to A&E but staying with them would depend on how close I was to them, how serious the injury was and whether I had other responsibilities. Staying with them for 8 hours is immediate family territory, not for a random colleague.

And you are in no way responsible for getting her home. Fair enough she can ask if you're free to collect her if she is desperate but if you say no then that's that. Can't believe you offered to pay for her taxi shock

Both her and her DM are unbelievably cheeky! You haven't done anything wrong.

lazylump72 Tue 27-Jul-21 09:25:12

OP I am going to shout this IT IS NOT YOU!!!! Fuck em her and her mother are rude and entitled, If I were them I would be so grateful you stepped in and helped in the first place. You so do not need people like this in your life, Now go get on with your day and anymore rudeness from these shites I would suggest you temporarily forget what a lady you are and tell them under no uncertain terms to shove it,Do not get involved anymore,

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