Rubbish holiday

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I don’t know why I am posting really - just stuck in bed and feeling so miserable. Dh and I were worked so hard last year and our relationship has really suffered through the pandemic. I booked three weeks in the UK with our two children just so we could be somewhere else and reset a bit. And it’s awful. During the first week, I had some work stuff to wrap up and DH had to job interviews. Kids decided about a week into the holiday to start going to sleep at 10pm. We are now at the end of week two. Dh and I are exhausted. I have a stomach bug or food poisoning and I am stuck in bed. Dh got rejected from one job but the other one really wants him - he just had to get through a psychometric test. He tried to do it this evening while I was sick in bed. Naturally the kids played up and he got locked out of the test. He is now stomping around and shouting. The toddler is in bed with me. I would just go home (dh wants to) but it’s ds’s birthday on Wednesday and everything is organised here not at home - so we really can’t. I can’t believe the holiday has gone so wrong. We’ve had some nice-ish times but we are both so tired and have to go back to 50-60 hour working weeks. I feel like it might break us. 😢

[breakfasty]

[breakfasty]

So sorry. Deep breaths. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

[RandomMess]

How utterly crap for you all

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

Thanks. I am trying to hold it together. Dh has gone for a walk to calm down and I am lying in the dark with a very, very awake three year old.

[newnortherner111]

I hope things will improve during the rest of your time off..

You must in future have absolutely no work things during a holiday, don't be a martyr and summer is every year so time enough to plan things so those you work with can manage.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You need to organise future holidays so you actually unplug properly. No half measures.

And I keep DD in a routine with sleep and meals because I NEED an evening. Even though both DH and DD try to convince me otherwise.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

We have kept them in routine as much as we can. There have been two naps in the car on the way back from the beach and it’s led to two weeks of total carnage. 😭

My job never allows total switch off and you can’t really plan for holidays. Dh has been trying to persuade me to change my job throughout the pandemic… it’s a key reason why our relationship is now so rocky.

[ballsdeep]

What is your job? I agree with the pp and you need to properly switch off.

[MichelleScarn]

How old are the kids that played up when dp was doing the test? All sounds v v stressful!

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I’m a City lawyer. Not a partner but trying to get promoted to Counsel… dh is not happy about it!

Kids are 3 and about to turn 6. We also have an 8 month old springer spaniel… 🤦🏻‍♀️

[ballsdeep]

@LorelaiVictoriaGilmore

I’m a City lawyer. Not a partner but trying to get promoted to Counsel… dh is not happy about it!

Kids are 3 and about to turn 6. We also have an 8 month old springer spaniel… 🤦🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't be happy about it either if my DH couldn't even switch off on holidays and all this drama was there!
Sorry op. I would be questioning whether the promotion was worth my family.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I am questioning it. But it would mean leaving my job entirely… even as a senior associate, I can’t switch off on holiday always. The idea of giving up a job that I have fought so hard for through two pregnancies, long hours etc. is very difficult.

But then you have a holiday like this and wonder what the hell you’re doing…

[Jerseygirl12]

I’d put it down as a muck up and plan the next one to be shorter and more of a proper holiday for you all.

[MichelleScarn]

Sorry @LorelaiVictoriaGilmore but all this stress and angst, where does it get you in the long run? Will it not be worse at partner level?

[Christmasfairy2020]

Next time go to butlins for 4 nights and 5 days and have total downtime. Then 2 weeks at home with work stuff etc but least your with kids

[IncessantNameChanger]

Three weeks is a long time for a holiday. Plus it's always hard work with toddlers.

It's like Christmas, you expect so much, so much pressure to be perfect too. Be kind to yourself. Most of us have had similar with toddlers

[Jerseygirl12]

Would you have been able to switch off if you’d booked a shorter break such as a week or less? Three weeks sounds really long.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I am not aiming for partner. I just wanted to get to Counsel level. Where does it get me? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I really like my job. It’s just very full on. It’s selfish, I suppose.

A few days ago, we explained to my son how my mil was a stay at home mum. He went off into fits of giggles and said ‘she was nanny to her OWN children?!’ 😬😬😬

[NakedAttraction]

@MichelleScarn

Sorry *@LorelaiVictoriaGilmore* but all this stress and angst, where does it get you in the long run? Will it not be worse at partner level?

Yeah, but the money sure helps!

3 week holidays are a tactic I also use. The first week invariably gets eaten into with work, the next two are usually better.

[Username7521]

OP I just want to say as a women with a c in her title it’s very easy to say turn off, but in reality it’s just impossible. It’s hard as there are men who is snapping at my heels desperate to undermine and try and take my job while I’m on holiday. A week is ok. Two week is touch and go, three weeks would be impossible. I get it. Hang in there (as a mum to a 3 year old). Sorry if it sounds patronising I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone!

[NakedAttraction]

@LorelaiVictoriaGilmore

I am not aiming for partner. I just wanted to get to Counsel level. Where does it get me? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I really like my job. It’s just very full on. It’s selfish, I suppose.

A few days ago, we explained to my son how my mil was a stay at home mum. He went off into fits of giggles and said ‘she was nanny to her OWN children?!’ 😬😬😬

Oh OP, that is pretty funny! But we’ve had a nanny since my eldest was 6 months old so I get it.

[sadie9]

Its not a holiday if both of you are working. Your kids routines will change on a trip.
Why did your DH rush into doing the online test thing with a 3 and 5 yr old running around? Applying for jobs is very stressful and worse than work. Seems crazy to have combined that with holidaying with 2 small kids. If you both work 60hrs then get a nanny, who could come on holidays with you.

[AnyFucker]

‘My job never allows total switch off and you can’t really plan for holidays

Are you the prime minister ? Come on, nobody is indispensable. Your colleagues will not respect your presenteeism, believe me.

Next time you have a holiday, make it just that. You were asking for trouble, all of you

[Jerseygirl12]

Just book something shorter next time such as a Monday to Friday center parcs break, something tried and tested by thousands of families with DC your DC’s age.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

Well, this holiday was looking pretty good. I had just finished phase 1 of a big M&A transaction. But then the M&A transaction needed underwriting to the tune of hundreds of millions of pounds… and when you do that, you have to respond to a series of questions from the lead underwriter in writing and then verbally. The partner and team did all the preliminary work but then asked me to check the answers and join the call. What could I say? 🤷🏻‍♀️