Another should I move or stay in my house one.

(25 Posts)
MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 14:45:16

So I’m aware this is a privileged dilemma to have, but I feel like my brain is a washing machine going over the options.
So I’d love to hear the opinion of the Mumsnet jury.

We currently live in a mid terrace 2 bed house, the location is ideal for us in many ways. It’s just near a big park, has a beautiful south facing garden and off street parking. It’s also close to town and we have friends that we can pop over to for cuppas and meet for walks. There’s also cafes and restaurants in walking distance.
We can only afford to live in this area as the houses in our particular street are ex council and a bit scruffy. (Though our neighbours are all lovely) it’s a small house and I feel like it’s always falling apart.

The plan was always to stay here until I got pregnant and then buy a bigger 3-4 bed semi slightly out of town where houses are cheaper.

Well, for a number of reasons we’ve decided children won’t be happening for us so that leaves us with a few more options house wise.

We have aggressively paid off our mortgage and are in the position where we could be mortgage free in two years if we stay here.
Or we could stick to the original plan and move to a bigger house or even just a house we like more.

My house is nice, I’m super lucky to have it, but I don’t love it.

It needs a new kitchen and decorating all the way through and when I think of all that upheaval I think I should probably just move.

We could easily afford to extend the mortgage and get a nicer house somewhere else, but we wouldn’t be able to afford a nice house in the area we are currently in without stretching ourselves.

So would you

A) move area, get a bigger house that you love and extend the mortgage a bit.

B) stay in the area you love, buy a house you love and stretch the mortgage. ( it would still be affordable but there’d be less wiggle room)

C) stay put, accept you don’t have a house that you love, spend some money decorating and go on holidays.

Thank you for your input!

OP’s posts: |
InpatientGardener Thu 22-Jul-21 14:50:43

I would do B in your situation, seems like a good compromise.

Mommabear20 Thu 22-Jul-21 14:51:58

Personally I'd move, if your not happy in the house, I honestly feel that will affect you long term. However it's personal choice on which way you do it. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family.
Good luck with your decision making!

essentialhealing Thu 22-Jul-21 14:56:02


You don't need more space as not having children. You're happy there albeit cosmetically bits need doing

Do the bits, pay off the mortgage and have holidays etc

You could move and be unhappy

MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 14:56:35

There’s part of me that thinks it might be a bit sad and selfish to have a big family sized home just for a couple and their cats.

OP’s posts: |
user1471538283 Thu 22-Jul-21 15:07:25

I would stay because you have decent neighbors and you can afford it.

Then I would do it up a bit and reconsider in a couple more years. By then you may want a penthouse, a country cottage, move abroad!

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 15:11:58

Can you remortgage and pay someone to come in and do the redecorating you want, even if it means vacating the property for a few weeks?


SpiderinaWingMirror Thu 22-Jul-21 15:12:00

With interest rates so low, I'd do either b or c and go for a long term fix.
The interest you pay are likely to be far outstripped by rising house prices over a 10 year period.

30degreesandmeltinghere Thu 22-Jul-21 15:14:02


Get more dpets...
Be a crazy dcat lady..

SpiderinaWingMirror Thu 22-Jul-21 15:14:17

Ah and I wouldn't entertain any thoughts about not having a bigger house cos no children. Bigger houses often have more parking, bigger gardens more downstairs space and bigger kitchens

Auntienumber8 Thu 22-Jul-21 15:16:12

Unless you need more space for a hobby or something just stay where you are. We paid our mortgage off in our mid thirties, it’s great.

mog27 Thu 22-Jul-21 15:16:45

C, being mortgage free leaves you with more spare cash to do other things plus you say the area is nice and you have friends nearby.

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 15:16:51

Don't move area and buy the family house you would habe brought if you'd had kids. Thats the plans for the life you were having. You need a house for the life you have. So if this area is great for two adults - close friends, good social amenities etc stay. But look for a different house. Size doesn't matter, but pick one that suits your life as it will be.

Bollindger Thu 22-Jul-21 15:17:22

Stay put till you find the house, even if it takes 5 years.
Do no underestimate friends in these times.

MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 15:20:37

* Can you remortgage and pay someone to come in and do the redecorating you want, even if it means vacating the property for a few weeks*

We could probably do this with savings to be fair.
And my mother has already said we could live at hers if we needed to do this.

My cats would be pretty unhappy about it but they’d live.

OP’s posts: |
MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 15:23:31

* The interest you pay are likely to be far outstripped by rising house prices over a 10 year period.*

Well that’s a good point too: it’s a really solid way to invest to get a bigger house.

We’ve been extremely lucky and the house we are in now has almost doubled in value due to the fact it’s one of the remaining places to buy an affordable house with a garden in the city.

We could put the money we were putting into the mortgage into pensions and investments of course but property seems safer somehow.

OP’s posts: |
RolloTomassi Thu 22-Jul-21 15:39:11

B. 💯

Once you have the itch to move it's unlikely to go. I speak from experience.

Whether or not you have children is irrelevant, you deserve the best home you can get if that's what you want. Housing is always a sound investment in the longterm regardless.

I firmly believe a house you love coming home to is worth stretching for (within reason of course!).

Retrievemysanity Thu 22-Jul-21 18:01:35

Personally, C but I wouldn’t rule out moving in the future once I’d saved up a bit more money, perhaps to a bigger house in the same area. And it’s not a particularly great time to buy as prices are quite high atm.

If you moved to a 3 or 4 bed, would you use those rooms or would they be wasted space? Your current area sounds like it ticks all the boxes and your house sounds like with a bit of decorating, it could be lovely even if not perfect.

Good neighbours are so important and any move is risky on that front particularly to a terrace or semi so I’d have to have a really good reason to move. What does your other half think?

MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 18:12:43

My other half is wonderful but is very much a go with the flow type.
He likes our house and would be happy to stay but equally he’d like a bigger house too.

We’ve both been working from home all the time so it feels a lot more cramped than it is.
He works in the bedroom even though he could just as easily work in our summerhouse or at the table.

And I have to move furniture around when I’m doing my job as I have to do demonstrations online. Which I’ve been using the spare room for. It’s just a chair and it’s not the end of the world but we would definitely use the extra rooms.

To be honest I think there’s a bit of fomo going on too as lots of our friends seem to be moving and we’re seeing how lovely their houses are.

And maybe it’s because everyone seems to be having babies and we want a big life change too.

And it could possibly be because like the rest of the uk I’m bored and frustrated feeling confined to one space and I’d feel very differently if I could travel and actually enjoy the extra money and freedom.

OP’s posts: |
Mosaic123 Thu 22-Jul-21 18:31:13

I think B. Can you buy a wreck (cheaper) and do it up slowly? That would be a great project.

MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 19:37:03

I wish Mosaic but I think part of the reason I don’t like my house now is because I hate diy blush

OP’s posts: |
Retrievemysanity Thu 22-Jul-21 19:47:56

Ok, well if you don’t like DIY but have the money, I’d pay someone to do whatever needs doing, have friends over lots so you’re creating happy memories, a bit cringe, but I think it’ll help.

I think there’s some truth in what you’re saying about the fomo but the grass isn’t always greener! Moving is stressful, even when it’s a positive move, just look at the buyer/seller threads on here grin I know this is totally weird but I’m just getting the vibe from your posts that you are a bit dissatisfied with life at the moment but actually it’s not the sort of thing that moving will fix? Don’t know if that makes sense.

MoonbeamSprinkles Thu 22-Jul-21 20:09:57

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there @Retrievemysanity.

I feel like since we’ve decided not to have children (which is 100% the right choice), even though I don’t want children it’s made me feel a bit in limbo.
Like I’m going to be living life exactly like this forever.

It doesn’t help that all the things I’d normally do like going on holiday and having friends to stay or going to the theatre I haven’t been able to do in a while.

Having children is just the logical next step and without them I’m a bit ‘now what?’

I’m normally very satisfied with my life, I enjoy my job, have great friends and family, I’m very very lucky.
But I just feel a bit itchy.

OP’s posts: |
AdaFuckingShelby Thu 22-Jul-21 20:17:29

Don't underestimate the benefits of being mortgage free. Very liberating. You could do what you like to the house. How about a narrow boat or caravan as a holiday option?

Retrievemysanity Thu 22-Jul-21 20:40:22

Bless you, this pandemic has made life so bloody boring hasn’t it! I’ve felt exactly the same and lost my job last year so I haven’t even had that to distract me! I was at the theatre as soon as they opened their doors grin

Ok, well, given what you’ve said, I think, no rush, no harm in looking around but don’t compromise, see how you feel at the end of the year maybe?

Totally agree with a pp about mortgage free being liberating. Make a list of places you’d like to go if we’re ever allowed to again, things you’d like to do, hot air ballooning, northern lights, whatever. Things to look forward to might just help.

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