How would you feel with the pre school

(15 Posts)
Buzlightyear1 Thu 22-Jul-21 12:40:16

So my son is going to start in September at school. For a few reasons he's not been to play group or pre school. I explained to the head why he hadn't it was saftey issue due to his father , social service were involved and helped. Any way as most the class attended the pre school the head and his teacher for next year said it would be good to get him in for the last month as they mix with the school, So we enrolled him.

So obviously I understand its very late In the year and don't expect everything all the other children have. For example he didn't have a hock for coat or box etc. He went in for a few weeks and then one day came back with his water bottle broken he said the teacher broke it as it wasn't safe. It had a plastic handle holding the little top so it didn't fall of. Anyway I didn't say anything as I no u don't always get the truth fro a 4 year old

We went along to the teddy bear picnic where the kids going to school got a certificate with there name on and a name key ring. My son was left out they didn't say anything to him.

Now this is what has upset me to be fair, I wrote a email asking about Friday as its the last day, I was not sure if it was half day or full so I asked. Well I got a email back saying yes they are in but its going to be a very different day and could I please keep my son home. If he had struggled at any point I would understand but he's not got upset at all. He has enjoyed every bit hes made friends and loved it. I told him school is closed so he doesn't get upset. But how would you feel ?

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FelicityPike Thu 22-Jul-21 12:52:42

I wouldn’t have expected a named key ring as they were likely ordered well before hand. The certificate, yes it would’ve been nice to include him, but to be honest he’s only been there a month.
I’m on the fence about the last day to be honest. What did they say when you asked why he was to stay at home? What reason did they give?

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 12:55:43

How old is he op? Is he starting reception or year 1? Perhaps they do a review of the year or something and thought he might feel left out?

ForgedInFire Thu 22-Jul-21 12:56:17

I think that's terrible. Even if it wasn't possible to give him a named keyring at short notice, he should have been given an equivalent and a certificate.Have they given no solid reason that he shouldn't be in on Friday? I've never heard of a child being treated like that and I would be pretty angry about it

purpleme12 Thu 22-Jul-21 12:59:34

I think it's terrible too
I'd have gone back to that email asking why
And question why it sounds like they're treating your son differently
It wouldn't make me feel very good about the school

Buzlightyear1 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:02:54

The key ring i am not worried about and my son was not bothered. I just put it in also the box and hosting im not worried about as I completely understand why. It was the certificate I was a little bit like well why it wasn't that hard to include him. My son himself didn't care at all in fact he told me its a pice of paper why are they doing that. It was the last day that has upset me to be honest. As no good reason was given just that they are going to be having a very different day what ever that means. He will be starting reception next year and is 4. Half now.

I'm not going to say anything as its not worth it and I no they have been busy. But it has left me a bit disappointed as he is not worried about change or anything like that so its not really for his benefit. He was looking forward to seeing everyone and saying good bye.

Just to add the school seam pretty good and his next year teacher seams lovely so hopefully all will be fine next year.

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mindutopia Thu 22-Jul-21 13:05:33

I would assume given what you've said that there has probably been some miscommunication between the head and the preschool staff. Where they not really expecting him to be as involved as he is? I actually think it's an odd suggestion to just start preschool for the last few weeks before summer. There were loads of kids in my dc's reception classes who had never attended a childcare setting before. They did just as fine as everyone else. My dc went to a separate nursery and didn't really know anyone starting, also did fine. The key rings and such I expect were ordered a long time ago and they didn't have funding to get more, or no one told them they needed to. Maybe they weren't expecting him to attend that day? It sounds like maybe they've been a bit caught out and didn't realise how integrated into the setting he'd be during that time, probably because someone higher up didn't really communicate it well.

As for the last day, I would maybe ask why? I imagine it's a similar leaver's thing and maybe they hadn't prepared for him to be joining, so didn't want him to feel left out. When my dc left nursery, the staff made them each a framed collage of photos from their time there (the past 3 years). Maybe if they are doing something similar, but they don't have any photos of him (or you didn't consent to photos), they might be worried about it being another thing he feels left out of. They really should be more open about it though. But I think it's okay to ask.


FelicityPike Thu 22-Jul-21 13:06:00

It’s a bit shit though.

roguetomato Thu 22-Jul-21 13:06:54

Name tag things was totally wrong, I think you should have said something.
End of the year day, did they have some kind of assembly? If so, maybe they thought it maybe hard for your ds to sit through the duration, if he hasn't experienced that sort of setting like others did?

Blueeyedgirl21 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:19:33

Tbh I think it’s really poor form. I run an extracurricular club and we have kids turn up at random for maybe the last couple of sessions or a random session here and there and whilst gifts might not have been ordered etc I’d try and knock a certificate up on word beforehand it takes literally 1 minute tops unless you’re completely computer illiterate/dim. They could just put ‘for making friends in such a short space of time’ if they were doing awards or whatever.

I’d be asking exactly what they mean by this ‘different day’ and asking the head exactly why your ds isn’t invited

MichonnesBBF Thu 22-Jul-21 13:26:52

I work as a TA in a nursery.
What you have described is shocking and so wrong on every level. A token certificate would not have caused any trouble at all (so what if it did anyway, its 1 certificate)
The last day is again really unjustified and unfair on your son, there really is no justification for this.

Although I don't think complaining will actually help as it has happened and nothing can change.
I think I would send an email thanking them for making his settling in a great experience (you have said above he enjoyed going) but you were a little disappointed towards the end. Then finish on a positive note, wishing everyone a great holiday??? Does that make sense??

This way you get it off your chest, the nursery have understanding in better practice and inclusivity, everyone hopefully leaves for the holidays with this not being a bigger than necessary issue...

Buzlightyear1 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:26:59

Thank you, I will email and ask what they mean by different day. I just didn't want to email if I was being a pain. It didn't need to be a big problem or anything, my little one is pretty easy going I saw for myself at the certificate thing as we had a picnic we all had to say if we were attending. So they did know we would be there.

They should have know how involved he would be as I had to enroll him. I had to give permission for pictures and fill out the funding paper work etc. So its not like he just joined for the transition days which he also attended separately.

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Blueeyedgirl21 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:29:53

Not including a child in something like a photo collage etc because they’re worried it will make him feel left out is a massive cop out. There are always ways to adapt. Get creative. Photo collages of leavers? Just do a clip art picture of a little boy doing some random activity the child has enjoyed and put ‘we’ve enjoyed playing football painting drawing with you this term’ and their name. Framed photo and not got one? Ask you for one or just put a clip art pic with a school logo.

Buzlightyear1 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:45:08

Thank you blueeyedgirl21 they do have a few pictures of him doing stuff with the kids to. As he loves to be in the pictures 🤣 and playing with the kids. It was a bit of a rubbish way to end it. I won't let him know obviously as he would be gutted. It is a let down as he's tried hard and I've made sure to get everything sorted even at short notice. Like the dress upday I didn't know about as they had been told before. So I rushed and got stuff, and the fair with cakes I could go on🤣 they have done a lot which is great and parents have had to put a good few pounds into the last week and I made sure to do this so he wasn't left out. Such a shame.

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Buzlightyear1 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:53:25

I did send a thank you card to the staff and a separate one to the teacher for next year. The teacher for next year was lovely obviously I don't expect a reply for either but she thanked me and hugged my son. Which was lovely. I'm really hoping that next year will be good for him. 🤞

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