Old 'friend'. Was a boyfriend back in the day. We've seen each other casually again over the last 4 years: around 4 times a year for the weekend. We won't get back together permanently / exclusively but last time we met (3 weeks ago, for 2 days, after a C19 gap of 12months) he was saying how 'lucky he was to have me, I was so patient with him' etc. All good. Or so I thought?
I have some longstanding mobility issues. I live very rurally and the local cottage hospital is not great tbh. He lives in London. He suggested, strongly, not for the first time, that we go to a big hospital there (Covid permitting) and give his address ('so they would see me' as not really A&E and I am out of area otherwise?) to see if we could at least get some Big Hospital advice. Whether this is morally correct (I might feel desperate for help but I'm not very comfortable pretending to live at someone else's address) is a valid question, and whether it would 'work' is another again. Lastly, whether it would be responsible to travel / do this with the infection figures increasing again is another matter too.
I only have a 5 day window once a year when kids with Dad. I could travel down anytime during this. Before I left, he asked me to text him the dates so we could arrange it. I did, and said could he text me so we could make some arrangements. I'd stay independently but he'd come with me for the initial screening and give his address so I'd not be sent away on 'out of area' basis. I also said that my mobility seems to have got worse (I am hoping it is a temporary soft tissue issue rather than a longer term problem) so it would be great to try to get advice over the next few weeks - thanks for his idea / offer of time.
He has ghosted me for 10 days. I called this afternoon and it turns out he is furious with me for 'demanding' help and 'blaming him' for my mobilty probs. Eh? We had agreed a strategy and just needed to agree which of those 5 days we could meet for an hour or two to try to get me some advice. So it was an attempt to get help that we had already agreed not a demand in any way. I have never 'blamed him' for my mobility issues. There is no one to blame: it's just bad luck. There were lots of long silences & the call ended with him saying he was 'very irritated, least said soonest mended and perhaps I should think about my approach between now and next time we speak.' I really didn't know what to say. It was like being told off by the Headmaster.
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Who is bonkers, him or me?
32 replies
52andblue · 21/07/2021 19:00
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