Another parent unkind to my baby

(182 Posts)

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HotelTowels Wed 23-Jun-21 15:23:41

I just want to rant about this if that's ok. I was at an outdoor performance for babies today (under 1's). We sat in bubbles on little circles on the grass and watched the show. Babies were encouraged to be themselves, make baby noises, clap, cry or whatever but parents were encouraged to try to keep babies inside the circles until the short show was over, after which there'd be a free play session where they could crawl about.

A mum and dad sat behind us and their little girl (who was wearing a tutu) was walking all around the set of the performance, going right up to the actors, picking up props etc and wandering through the audience. Her parents didn't try and get her, they just sat back looking really smug proud. (To be fair her walking was very advanced). All the other parents kept their babies inside their circles, so why couldn't they?

My little boy was, at first, glued to the performance, giggling and loving it, but as soon as he saw the little girl walking all over the stage he stopped focusing on the show and was itching to crawl over there as well. He's loves going up to other babies whenever he can. So we had to keep pulling him back with us which was frustrating as before she appeared he had been watching the show.

After the show, they let the babies explore freely. My son is 11 months and crawls and also bum shuffles everywhere at the moment. He started excitedly bum shuffling over to other babies. I thought bum shuffling was quite common for babies but he got lots of comments from other parents like "wow look at him go" and "that's a novel way to get around!" All said warmly and kindly.

Then my baby shuffled over to tutu baby's parents and I noticed the dad was watching my son with the most horrible expression on his face. He was shaking his head incredulously and sort of sniggering with a half disgusted look on his face, and started pointing out my son's bum shuffling to his wife/partner and making a sort of mocking face. He then caught me looking at him and quickly switched to a smile. All the while my gorgeous little boy was cheerfully heading over to them with a big smile in a lovely trusting way and was looking right at the dad! sad

I felt such a surge of protectiveness over my son I had to bite my lip! It really made me sad. Of course my son didn't notice or understand but I can't believe a grown man could behave like that towards a little baby!!

I'm still seething and it was hours ago!!! I guess the playground politics starts now!

post edited by MNHQ in order to remove disablist term

OP’s posts: |
Fitforforty Wed 23-Jun-21 15:26:34

The man wasn’t unkind to your baby. He absently mindly pulled a face which your baby wouldn’t have seen or understood. You sound very judgemental of them too.

Threebecomesfour Wed 23-Jun-21 15:29:08

That would've really upset and angered me too. Bum shuffling is so cute and a perfectly normal way for little ones to get around before they've quite worked out walking.
I feel sadness for these types of people... what kind of arsehole do you have to be to make fun of a 1 year old?! I also feel sadness for their little girl when she inevitably "let's them down" doing a task etc...

SorrySoldOut Wed 23-Jun-21 15:30:04

yes, starts now....wait til he's 23 and his manager at work is being a dick!!! not much you can do about other people

RickiTarr Wed 23-Jun-21 15:30:25

Adults can be incredibly silly, childish and unkind, but, yes, you are going to have to toughen up. It’s not nice, some of this stuff, but you cannot let it get to you.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Wed 23-Jun-21 15:32:15

That's a lot to read into a facial expression.

You judged them and their kid, you think they judged your kid 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll never see them again anyways.

Soubriquet Wed 23-Jun-21 15:33:55

My dd never crawled. She bumshuffled everywhere at 13 months. She then at 18 months just got up walking without even crushing


Soubriquet Wed 23-Jun-21 15:34:03


CharlotteRose90 Wed 23-Jun-21 15:37:23

Urm you judged them first and what their daughter was wearing . They judged your child back. Both as bad as each other.

RonniePickering Wed 23-Jun-21 15:39:58

You should have tripped his baby up.

I jest.

HotelTowels Wed 23-Jun-21 15:40:25

Haha I knew someone would make a bitchy comment about the tutu! I judged them after what happened, when writing this post by adding the tutu reference. That's after the man was very consciously unkind about my baby (nothing absent-minded about it).

OP’s posts: |
Comedycook Wed 23-Jun-21 15:41:54

It's nasty behaviour

otterbaby Wed 23-Jun-21 15:42:09

What's wrong with a little girl wearing a tutu? confused

MarcelineMissouri Wed 23-Jun-21 15:43:36

I think you are projecting your irritation at their daughter wondering around into the dads reaction.

You don’t know him - he was making a face that could have meant anything! Bum shuffling is cute but it always makes me laugh as well and I probably would have pointed it out to dh.

Longestfewdaysupcoming Wed 23-Jun-21 15:43:57

Neither of you come out of this looking good tbh.

otterbaby Wed 23-Jun-21 15:44:24

But anyway, if he was mocking your baby, he's an awful person. Sadly, awful people often have children so you'll have to deal with them. Your little boy sounds very cute!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 23-Jun-21 15:45:09

I dont get why you've mentioned a tutu?

Skyla2005 Wed 23-Jun-21 15:47:15

His an arsehole take no notice. He will be an arsehole about everything else aswell so not just your baby. His a horrible person. It would have upset me too. Bum shuffling is totally normal. Mine walked on their knees for ages nothing wrong with that. Forget about it now and just live your little boy even more which I'm sure you do anyway.

Skyla2005 Wed 23-Jun-21 15:48:22


NakedNugget Wed 23-Jun-21 15:50:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

notmethenwho Wed 23-Jun-21 15:50:22

The first few paragraphs of your OP were completely unnecessary and served to only prove you were judging them first.

Tbf the dad sounds like a complete prick though. Nothing wrong with bum shuffling!

RickiTarr Wed 23-Jun-21 15:51:58


Haha I knew someone would make a bitchy comment about the tutu! I judged them after what happened, when writing this post by adding the tutu reference. That's after the man was very consciously unkind about my baby (nothing absent-minded about it).

I missed that first time round and I don’t understand why you’d “judge” them for their baby wearing a tutu. That’s a bit crazy, too.

Hoppinggreen Wed 23-Jun-21 15:53:07

Wow, major projection.
You have no idea what this man was actually thinking
Maybe he was being a Dick but maybe not
Either way, don’t let it spoil what sounds like a nice time

roguetomato Wed 23-Jun-21 15:53:26

I think you are seeing more into it maybe because you feel competitive because the girl was walking confidently, while yours was bum shuffling?
If you stop comparing, maybe you might feel better.

BlackberrySky Wed 23-Jun-21 15:55:48

You are over thinking this. People love judging other parents (yourself included it would seem) but you just have to ignore them as long as your child is not causing harm or distress to others. Forget about it, it doesn't matter what he thinks.

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