Are you friends with anyone famous/extremely wealthy and do you find it hard to stay friends with them?

(269 Posts)
Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 13:52:14

This isn't a humble brag, it will probably come across like one though.

I have a good friend who is very well known. We met as kids then I moved back to my home country but we stayed in touch over the years/visited a lot as we got older and have stayed good friends.

I've always found the shiny famous side of his life bizarre, it's so far removed from who he actually is, and I can't take it seriously when I see him on TV or whatever, but it's never really affected our friendship before, maybe because I knew him way before all the famous stuff.

Lately though, I've finding myself feeling incredibly envious of everything he's got and how easy it all is for him - he can still zip about on a private jet etc because he has the money, Covid quarantine costs etc aren't an issue, his house is like some kind of epic luxury hotel so it was hard to stomach when he was a 'bit fed up' with lockdown.

He's a really nice guy, so he's not a twat with it and incredibly generous, but it's almost like I can't stomach his success now? I've always been proud and happy for him, but I recently lost a lot of work, I'm self employed, but managing to stay afloat just, keep having problems with DS being sent home from nursery due to temp and struggling to keep hold of the few contracts I've got because of it, feel like life is stressy chaos....we mainly chat nonsense on whatsapp, but when actual life/what have you been up to stuff comes up I'm finding it difficult to not be a bit of an arse to him.

DH is surprised it hasn't happened sooner but I'm just a bit sad because we've been friends for so long! It's never been an issue before but the pandemic seems to have brought out the green eyed monster in me.

I just wondered if anyone else has managed to maintain a long-standing friendship with someone who lives in a world that is polar opposite to theirs? I'm kind of thinking this might be the point where we just grow apart and it makes me really sad, especially since I'm the one causing it.

And the reason I've mentioned that he's famous and high profile is because it's relevant - his life is SO SO different to mine, like could not be more different.

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Bloodybridget Fri 18-Jun-21 13:56:03

Friend is famous but not particularly wealthy. She is a very lovely person and I'm just pleased she has been so successful.

Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 13:57:22

@Bloodybridget that's what I usually feel like. He's a great guy, so sweet, would be mortified if he knew how I was feeling, but I can't help it. I know it doesn't put me in a very good light!

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Bloodybridget Fri 18-Jun-21 13:59:45

I think it might make a difference if the friend had a super-rich jetsetter lifestyle, so I can understand why you find it difficult at times. My friend is just grafting away at home most of the time.

Cathie102 Fri 18-Jun-21 14:07:20

I have two very successful siblings - both through hard work although they're older than me and did get lucky with timings of when they left university and so on.
I find it difficult when they mention something as essential that really isn't. For instance, my sister went for private pregnancy care and I know she felt she had to justify it by saying she just felt you get better care etc. I wish she would just say "it's nice to do and I can afford it". By saying "oh you just dont get the right level of care in the NHS" it makes me feel like crap because I have no choice.
However when it comes down to it I see we all have the same problems - yes they have cleaners and all their kids have their own bedroom and so on. But it doesn't stop shit things happening to them. AND in a way they're used to a certain lifestyle and sometimes I feel like if they earned less money but had more time they'd be happier.

Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 14:12:03

@Bloodybridget yes, I think it's that side of it. Don't get me wrong, he always asks after work/what I'm doing, how I'm doing, he's not entitled and tone deaf about it but there's no ignoring the fact our lives are very different.

@Cathie102 that's very true. And he does have his own worries and issues - desperately wants to be a Dad but hasn't had much luck with relationships lasting etc due to his line of work, and I know he's deeply envious of what I have with DH and DS (not in a romantic way, but that's what he wants with someone) so I know all this, and yet I feel like I'm a kid having a tantrum because I don't have what he has. It's ridiculous but it's really getting to me.

It makes me sound like a terrible friend, and I'm aware I am being a terrible friend in this respect, we've known each other for 25 years now so I don't think I was expecting this to happen after all this time either.

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Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 14:15:10

I guess I could talk to him, just not phrase it quite so brattishly. But not sure what he can do about it really.

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PegasusReturns Fri 18-Jun-21 14:22:23

I think all relationships ebb and flow, coming under pressure from different elements at different times.

I think you’d find it easier if you accepted he is a bit tone deaf in relation to the issues surrounding covid.

I have not travelled although have had the opportunity and I’ve had a “good” lock down. I wouldn’t dream of saying to someone who might pbe struggling how tough it’s been.

Somuddled Fri 18-Jun-21 14:34:40

My longest standing friend probably ranks as one of the richest people in the world. It has never been an issue in our friendship. Yes life is easier for her in some ways but I've never felt envy or jealousy. My sister on the other hand really struggles not to be envious and resentful towards my friend. I suppose I just recognise that everyone is better off than someone else so there is no point getting hung up on it. Comparison really is the thief of joy.

Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 14:41:10

@Somuddled I wish I didn’t feel like it sad I never have before and I don’t really know where it’s come from. I love him dearly, and yet here I am with these awful thoughts.

@PegasusReturns you’re right relationships do change. I don’t feel like he’s been gone deaf though really, he only answered because I asked how things were. But I suppose you’re right he could caveat with how lucky he knows he is but then I’m one of his oldest friends so maybe he feels like he shouldn’t have to? I don’t know. I’m probably overthinking it all.

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Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 17:47:32

Well just did a facetime and made an effort not to be a dick. I'm thinking maybe a bit of distance for a while, he's going to be busy for a bit anyway, and then maybe I'll be getting out and about and doing more things myself and not feel quite so grumpy about everything.

Maybe I'll win the lottery in the meantime grin

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MrsLCSofLichfield Fri 18-Jun-21 18:44:10

I get where you are coming from, OP. DH has a couple of friends from school who have done very well for themselves, one is in banking and the other is a scriptwriter. They are nice guys and not ostentatious in any way whatsoever, but the gap is really big now. We only see them occasionally and I'm happy having a drink and a chat, but wouldn't really feel comfortable going round to their houses or anything like that these days.

Andante57 Fri 18-Jun-21 18:49:10

but wouldn't really feel comfortable going round to their houses or anything like that these days

Why not? Because their houses are bigger than yours? Or because they are richer than you?
Do you only mix with people with similar income as you?

Intercity225 Fri 18-Jun-21 18:53:49

It depends what you mean by extremely wealthy? If you mean, worth over £10 million, then yes we do. We’ve known clients worth far more than that.

It doesn’t bother me, because I think we did the best we could!

AdoptedBumpkin Fri 18-Jun-21 18:55:09

I've known some pretty well off (not mega rich) people who didn't seem to understand what like is like for those with less. For example, one man who complained that he didn't have enough money to extend his large rural house.

SisterMichael Fri 18-Jun-21 19:02:16

I think Covid has left a lot of people pissed off with celebrities seeing them having big parties and flitting round the world so it’s unsurprising that it’s done the same for you when you’ve seen that behaviour close up, albeit him being a longstanding friend.

BillyBearSpam Fri 18-Jun-21 19:03:32

Is it Ed Sheeran??!! I don't know why, but that's what's screaming at me! grin

Anyway, I have a couple of friends who are married to millionaires, so not the mega rich but still "considerably richer than yowww" and I do get the green eyed monster regularly, even though we have a very comfortable life and live in a beautiful house in a beautiful place.

The grass isn't greener, even though it feels like it is.

Mintjulia Fri 18-Jun-21 19:09:17

I have no idea if they are fabulously wealthy, (not likely) but I have a friend who is married to an old Etonian. He's hard working , practical and good fun.

ButItRingsAndIRise Fri 18-Jun-21 19:11:56

Is it Ed Sheeran??!! I don't know why, but that's what's screaming at me!

He has a wife and a baby though. Op says her friend hasn’t much luck in relationships.

InFiveMins Fri 18-Jun-21 19:15:07

@BillyBearSpam For some reason Ed Sheeran came straight to my mind too!

I don't know any famous people and don't really know anyone massively wealthy. I think I would struggle to be friends with them - honestly - it would likely be a mixture of jealousy and a clash of lifestyle. Just being honest.

MrsLCSofLichfield Fri 18-Jun-21 19:17:44

@Andante57 - I don't know really, it's not like I am dead set against it or anything, but I could envisage feeling a bit awkward these days. Yes, they are now much richer than us (we're not poor, just middling) - at a certain level it doesn't matter, at another level it does.

Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 19:19:30

Not Ed Sheeran.

I don’t know the ins and outs of his finances but easily over the ten million mark.
He’s lovely, a hard worker, gives a lot back, looks after his friends and family and I’ve never felt like this before about him. But he HAS had it easier there’s no two ways about it. Has definitely bent rules etc and it’s given a pass because of his status. Lockdown in his house with a pool and a cinema room etc etc and I know that’s not everything and I’m grateful for how lucky I am too, but it’s just a bit galling at the moment I think.

It’s probably saying more about me and where I am in life - ie I feel like my career is floundering and I’m struggling with the balance etc and everything seems so easy for him

It’s not, I know this, he has his issues like everyone else but it’s hard not to compare. I think the gulf between us in terms of lifestyle just feels huge now whereas it didn’t before which seems incredible I know, but I guess I had more fun stuff in my own life to keep me feeling happy and balanced.

He’s keen for me to go visit for a weekend while he’s not far with work but I can’t be bothered with it - sounds awful, but the testing and the faff and the reminder of everything I don’t have and don’t have easy access to and then the playing catch up with work etc when I’m back. Haven’t seen him for a year and a half now so I know that’s a horrible way to think about it - I wish I wasn’t such a brat! I’m fortunate myself, I am lucky to have a house and a garden and financial security so I have no business being like this!

DH Reckons just have a bit of distance for a while and it will probably go back to normal eventually.

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Bellasblankexpression Fri 18-Jun-21 19:22:51

@InFiveMins yes that’s what it feels like at the moment, a total clash

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GameSetMatch Fri 18-Jun-21 19:25:34

No not really but I used to walk my dog and have a quick chat with an older gentleman, was lovely really funny. Got the shock of my life when I saw him on TV on that Marigolds hotel program! Syd little. I haven’t seen him since, I avoid him in case he thinks I’m nuts. I know it’s not what you asked but thought it was a good tale!

UberMullet Fri 18-Jun-21 19:27:03

DHs best friend is hugely wealthy and high up and well known in the IT field. He still remains the same person though and we never treat him any differently from before. His house in US is lush though. I am jealous of that. When we go to stay we always pay our way or take turns though. It has led to some large credit card bills on occasion but despite his offering we always thought it was the best way to continue.

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