Just finished my last counselling session. Is it normal to feel so sad?

[drivinmecrazy]

As the title says. 18 weeks of counselling and it's been transformative for me.
Counsellor and I got on so well and achieved so much which I'm so grateful for.
But we've come to the end of our funded sessions.
I now face having to find a new counsellor to continue my journey.
At the moment I'm feeling at a loss but also wondering how do I find a private one who will continue the journey with me.
Obviously my counsellor couldn't give a recommendation and also she said she'd love to take me on in her private practice but that's a no go because of her NHS contract (totally understand and respect this).
Advise on moving forward and building a new relationship very welcome !

[Palavah]

I think that's normal. Did you work on some closing activities eg reflecting on where youve come from and what you've covered?

I don't understand why you cant pay to see her privately if you have reached the end of your NHS funding?

[sunnysidegold]

I had this op! My counsellor was fantastic and at the end I asked if I could see her privately in the future if I needed to but she said there was a period where that would t be possible (I think it was three years?). Annoying as it's hard to build that relationship with someone, plus they obviously know you so well.

[sunnysidegold]

Oh and I'm glad it has gone so well for you!! My last lot changed my life so much.

[BraveGoldie]

Oh it's very natural to feel sad OP. Don't hesitate to honour that in whatever way you need to.

It is so strange to share such intimate things with somebody, have them make such a difference to your life, then have to say good bye......

No practical suggestions about how to find somebody new, but I am very glad it's been so positive for you and wish you the best of luck in continuing your work. Xx

[drivinmecrazy]

Thank you for your comments.
It's been an immensely difficult but ultimately valuable journey so far so am keen to continue it privately.
I'm just worried I'll never find such a good fit again
My counsellor did point out the positives to finding someone new so I'm holding onto that.
It's just been nice to have someone to talk to regularly who actually listens to me and hears what I say.
It's just so daunting to have to go back to the beginning, although as she pointed out to me she has prepared me in such a way that it shouldn't be so arduous this time round.
Feel like I hit the jackpot with her so not looking forward to possibly trying lots before I find a good fit!

[GoWalkabout]

Its very therapeutic to have a good ending. Let yourself feel sad and also let yourself value what you have done together. Now you have graduated from this piece of work, take some time out - don't jump right in to the next therapy, that would stop you realising your gains and benefitting from the good relationship.

[drivinmecrazy]

Thank you GoWalkabout , that's pretty much what my counsellor said.
I feel myself that I'm not ready to jump back in yet, I don't even feel the need at the moment.
The past three months have left me in a far stronger place. But going forward I'd like to build a relationship with a new counsellor going forward.
Even if it's just once a month to maintain the gains I've achieved, and being able to dive back in more intensely if I feel I'm slipping.
I'd hate to be on the place I was for so many years before I began therapy

[nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut]

Most private counsellors will work open ended. I've been with mine over a year now and am really starting to see how far I've come.

Like you, I saw an NHS counsellor first who was great but NHS fucked me about so much it did more harm than good. I still cried my eyes out though. I was really brave until he hugged me goodbye, then I'd had it.

[cupoftea2021]

It is a feeling of losing that safe space with the sense of relief and over load.
Find someone suitable means going and trailing them see how comfortable you feel.
put that sadness into looking at what you have talked out and your progress with going to therapy.
Any hurdles you have more than likely faced.
Familiarity is also a sense of loss that can be apart of ending with your therapist I think.